Vaping Diaries #18: Ahlusion Review

Raina and I checked out three fantastic e-liquids from Ahlusion — Blue Grass Burley, Devil Dog!, and Poppin’ Peach. In addition to offering high-quality juices, Ahlusion does a phenomenal job of packaging its wares. The e-liquids comes in sealed glass bottles that are covered in bubble wrap. The bottles are placed in a box full of foam peanuts. Standard caps are on the bottles by default and separate dripper caps are included. As far as packaging and presentation go, Ahlusion is the best I’ve seen. Now onto the e-liquids!

Blue Grass Burley: While all three are clearly high-quality juices, this was our favorite. Raina loved the rich, complex tobacco flavor. It reminded me of expensive Nat Sherman cigarettes I used to smoke (when I wasn’t poor). More than any other tobacco e-liquid I’ve tried, this tasted like a real cigarette (though possibly too flavorful for fans of cheapie smokes). This is an amazing e-liquid that fans of high-end cigarettes will love.

Devil Dog!: This is a tricky one to review. Like its sister juice above, this is a complex tobacco e-liquid. One of the owners of Ahlusion is a Marine and he made this juice for his fellow heroes. It’s bold and striking — too much so for likes of Raina and me. When I first tried this juice, the flavor knocked me on my ass. It mellowed after a bit, but was still too much for me, though possibly a great choice for fans of unfiltered cigarettes that have switched to vaping. Raina said that this one put hair on her chest, but I didn’t notice any.

Poppin’ Peach: This juice has a wonderful natural peach flavor, as opposed to many competitors that taste more like a Jolly Rancher or a Now and Later. Raina has been snacking on dried peaches lately and the flavor reminded her of those healthy treats. As for me, I’m an absolute sucker for all things peach, so I was super-happy with this juice. This will definitely be included when Raina and I do a peach shoot-out review in the future.

Bonus: Before I get to the steeping notes, here’s a photo of Raina and me (with a McKayla Maroney is not impressed face).

Steeping Notes

Blue Grass Burley
70/30 PG/VG ratio, 6mg nicotine
Uncapped: October 23, 2012 7:45PM
Recapped: October 26, 2012 12:46AM
Tested: November 13, 2012

Devil Dog
70/30 PG/VG ratio, 6mg nicotine
Uncapped: October 23, 2012 7:45PM
Recapped: October 26, 2012 12:46AM
Tested: November 13, 2012

Poppin’ Peach
50/50 PG/VG ratio, 6mg nicotine
Uncapped: October 23, 2012 7:45PM
Recapped: October 26, 2012 12:46AM
Tested: November 13, 2012

Vaping Diaries #17: Innokin iTaste MVP Review

The iTaste MVP from Innokin is currently one of the hottest products in vaping and it’s easy to see why. It offers great performance and battery life in a sturdy metal body. What’s even more impressive is that the iTaste MVP offers top performance and versatile features for a low price. That said, it’s missing one key feature and has a few quirks. Read on for more details on Innokin’s latest and greatest.

Continue reading “Vaping Diaries #17: Innokin iTaste MVP Review”

Vaping Diaries #16: Totally Wicked Odyssey Review

For the last few weeks, I’ve been using the Odyssey e-cigarette from Totally Wicked. This is an unusual and beautiful vaping device that really stands out. What I mean by unusual is that unlike most vaping products (or products of any kind, really), it’s not made in China. The Odyssey was designed in the UK and is manufactured there as well. What I mean by beautiful is…well, just look at it. This is a gorgeous mechanical mod that’s made from steel and glass. Considering the top-notch materials and craftsmanship, the Odyssey comes at a surprisingly low $99.99 price (increasing to $119.99 on November 26, 2012). Let’s go through the details!

What’s in the Kit: Totally Wicked did a phenomenal job with the packaging. The presentation is really classy — I’m talking Apple-level classy. Inside the box you’ll find the e-cigarette, two 14500 batteries, a charger, a tank-filling tool, a registration card, a guarantee card, a certificate of authenticity, and one of the most detailed instruction manuals I’ve seen for a vaping device. The device is backed be an atypically long five-year guarantee.

Construction and Build Quality: This is easily the most outstanding aspect of the Odyssey. Most of the unit is made from 303 austenitic stainless steel, while the tank also features laser-cut borosilicate glass (often marketed as pyrex). The lines are smooth and clean. It’s just incredibly well-made and gorgeous. One thing to note is that the firing button/locking mechanism is very tight out of the box. It loosened up for me after a day of use.

Ergonomics: Using the Odyssey is unusual compared to other vaping devices. Due to its steel construction, the unit is heavier than it looks. The balance is also bottom heavy. Whereas you’d hold a cigarette or a similarly sized vaping device towards the top, you’re supposed to grip the bottom half of the Odyssey. The firing button is at the end of the unit and meant to be activated with your pinky finger. It felt odd, but I got used to it after a day. While I found the Odyssey comfortable and easy to use after a brief adjustment period, I can understand someone else finding the device too heavy.

Performance and Battery Life: The Odyssey produced consistent power for the first 3/4 of the included 900 mAh batteries. After that, there was a significant drop-off in power. With that in mind, it usually took three battery charges to get me through the day. Since the kit includes two batteries, I just swapped one out when performance started declining. Naturally, battery life depends on your vaping habits and the resistance of the cartomizer used. I tried the Odyssey with both single-coil and dual-coil cartomizers. For me, single-coil cartomizers in the 1.5-1.7 ohm range were definitely the way to go. The Odyssey uses a 510 connection. You can use it with standard 510 cartomizers and, if you take off the plinth, eGo-threaded products. This gives it some nice versatility.

Verdict: Looking at photos or video clips of the Odyssey doesn’t do it justice. Feeling the device and seeing it with your own eyes makes it seem like a steal compared to competitors. Keep in mind you’re getting a body that’s made from steel and a glass-and-steel tank; pyrex tanks alone can cost $40 to $50. The construction and build quality are brilliant. I’ve seen competing devices made of plastic and mass produced in China sold for similar prices. I’ve seen products made from inferior materials sold for twice as much. As far as fixed-voltage vaping devices go, this is one of the finest I’ve ever seen.

That said, it’s not for everyone. Although it didn’t bother me, I can see the device’s weight being a problem for some people. This also isn’t a device for demanding vapers that often change voltage or wattage. (On a side note, I’d love to see the Odyssey’s makers come up with a mod that’s compatible with the Evolv Kick for variable-wattage performance. That would rule me.) If a fixed-voltage mod works for you and you don’t mind having to change batteries once a day or more then you’ll be happy with Odyssey. It’s a beautiful and luxurious e-cigarette that comes at a surprisingly low price.

Vaping Diaries #15: Orb Vapor Review (E-Liquid)

RPadholic N8R and I checked out three e-liquids from Orb Vapor — Organic Caramel Apple, Organic Mexican Vanilla, and Organic Watermelon Menthol. The juices come in blue glass bottles with a dripper cap. The bottles are wrapped in a thick layer of wrapping tissue and sent in a bubble envelope; in my experience, only one other vendor does a better job in terms of packaging and presentation. Check out the video above and some notes on the juices below.

Organic Caramel Apple: This was N8R’s favorite juice of the three, though he got more of a candy apple taste than a caramel apple taste. I enjoyed this juice too, but wanted more caramel flavor. Both of us agreed that apple was the predominant flavor.

Organic Mexican Vanilla: Both of us agreed that this was a thick, savory juice with more of a vanilla bean flavor than a sweet vanilla flavor. N8R made the analogy that this was closer to Breyer’s ice cream than generic vanilla ice cream. Out of the three, this was my favorite — very rich and flavorful, without overpowering sweetness.

Organic Watermelon Menthol: Both of us felt that this was more of a subtle mint than a menthol. N8R really liked this one and felt that it’s a great vape for a hot summer day. I liked this e-liquid too, but really wanted more mint/menthol.

Steeping Notes

Organic Caramel Apple
50/50 PG/VG ratio, 6mg nicotine
Born On: October 22, 2012
Uncapped: October 29, 2012 5:20PM
Recapped: October 31, 2012 8:33PM
Opened: November 13, 2012

Organic Mexican Vanilla
50/50 PG/VG ratio, 6mg nicotine
Born On: October 22, 2012
Uncapped: October 29, 2012 5:20PM
Recapped: October 31, 2012 8:33PM
Opened: November 13, 2012

Organic Watermelon Menthol
50/50 PG/VG ratio, 6mg nicotine
Born On: October 22, 2012
Uncapped: October 29, 2012 5:20PM
Recapped: October 31, 2012 8:33PM
Opened: November 13, 2012

Vaping Diaries #14: Vapor4Life Handle Review (V4L OMG)

The Vapor4Life Handle is a nice, compact vaping device that offers big power and amazing battery life. It’s part of V4L’s OMG line, which is geared towards advanced vapers. The Handle is currently available for $89.95 and comes in four colors: black, blue, green, and magenta. I’ve been using the blue model for a little under two weeks and I’m super-impressed with the product, save for one aspect. Read on for the details (please)!

What’s in the Kit: The Handle comes in a nice box with the unit, a battery, a charger, and the instruction manual. The 18650 battery is rated at 2,800 mAh, which is considerably higher than the competing batteries.

Form Factor and Ergonomics: This box mod has a simple but sleek look. With the battery in the unit, it strikes a nice balance between feeling light and having a good heft. The Handle is a pocketable device that you can safely place on a desk. I put a full 7ml tank on top of the device and it was totally stable on flat surfaces. The side of the unit has four finger grooves, but I found that using all four was too tight and my hands aren’t particularly big. For me, placing three fingers on the grooves and my pinky on the bottom was the most comfortable way to hold the Handle.

Operation: Using the Handle is a snap. It turns on and off with five clicks of the power button. A single click shows you the resistance of the cartomizer you’re using and the battery’s remaining charge. The former feature is fantastic for trying to figure out what voltage setting you should use (generally speaking, higher resistance cartomizers require higher voltages). The voltage can be adjusted from 3.0 to 6.0 volts in increments of 0.10.

Build Quality: This is the only aspect of the Handle that I wasn’t pleased with. The device is made from a rubberized plastic that has a nice texture, but feels a bit chip and flimsy. The battery door has a hinge that feels delicate. If you’re clumsy or not careful, I can see the battery door ripping off. While the plastic hardly screams luxury, the unit is put together nicely and the lines are clean.

Performance and Battery Life: The Handle’s performance exceeded my expectations. Output was very consistent for the first two-thirds of the battery. After that, I had to turn the voltage up a bit to achieve the same vape. This is normal behavior for an unregulated device. Battery life was outstanding. A full charge usually got me through a day and a half of heavy vaping. I can easily see many vapers getting two days out of a full charge.

Verdict: Aside from the plastic, I really enjoyed using the Handle. It’s a strong performer with stellar battery life. That said, it’s slightly overpriced. The good news is that Vapor4Life provides strong customer support, so the price is justifiable. For existing V4L users, I’d suggest picking up this product straight away. It’s easily the best device V4L offers and is compatible with the company’s many 808D parts. If you’re not part of the V4L family and have an abundance of 808D cartomizers/clearomizers, the Handle is definitely worth considering.

Vaping Diaries #13: Heather’s Heavenly Vapes Review

My excellent friend Raina Lee and I checked out three e-liquids from Heather’s Heavenly Vapes. We vaped a trio of juices named after The Lord of the Rings characters: Gandalf, Gollum, and Shadowfax. While we were impressed by the quality of all three, we each had a favorite. Watch the video review to hear details on the flavor of all three products. They’re even tastier than Hobbit leaf!

Steeping Notes

Shadowfax
60/40 PG/VG ratio, 6mg nicotine
Uncapped: October 20, 2012 5:20PM
Recapped: October 22, 2012 5:34PM
Opened: November 6, 2012 1:35PM

Gollum
60/40 PG/VG ratio, 6mg nicotine
Uncapped: October 20, 2012 5:20PM
Recapped: October 22, 2012 5:34PM
Opened: November 6, 2012 1:35PM

Gandalf
60/40 PG/VG ratio, 6mg nicotine
Uncapped: October 20, 2012 5:20PM
Recapped: October 22, 2012 5:34PM
Opened: November 6, 2012 1:35PM

Vaping Diaries #12: Ovale USA Emini Review

Here’s a stylish and unique e-cigarette that’s geared towards casual and social smokers: the Emini from Ovale USA. This vaping device comes with two batteries and a cool charging case that strongly resembles an Apple iPhone 4/4S. While it’s not powerful enough for hardcore vapors, it’s a compelling choice for social smokers that don’t want to fuss with charging cables and want a product that looks good. Here’s the rundown.

What’s in the Kit: The Emini comes with two batteries, a charging case, three e-liquid cartridges, two atomizers, two atomizer heads, a USB charger, and a wall adapter. The kit currently lists for $69.99 on the Ovale USA site.

Form Factor: The e-cigs are a little bit shorter than the standard ones offered by competing companies like Safe Cig and V2. They look like “real” cigarettes, which is good for people that want to blend in with smokers and want to vape without drawing attention to themselves. The charging case, which holds one battery at a time, is smaller than an iPhone 4. The setup is very much pocketable.

Performance: As far as the batteries go, the Emini performs inline with other automatic batteries for competing vendors. The draw is decent, while the vapor is good for this type of device. Each 90 mAh battery lasts around 20 to 30 minutes. The case is rated at 1,090 mAh, which is more than enough for the type of vaper this product targets. The charging case should provide enough power to get casual smokers through a day. If that’s not enough, the case can be recharged with a standard micro-USB cable.

Consumables: The batteries use standard Ego-C atomizer heads, which are common and easy to find. The e-juice cartridges are proprietary and costs $5.99 for a five-pack at Ovale USA.

Verdict: This is a really cool e-cig that’s stylish and practical. The charging case is super convenient. Personally, I prefer the Elips-C as far as smaller e-cigs go, but this is good choice for casual vapers that want something that resembles a tobacco cigarette. Remember, this product is not meant for heavy vapers; the battery life, vapor production, and draw won’t satisfy them. If you’re the kind of person that occasionally takes smoke breaks at work or wants to vape over drinks, the Emini’s looks and convenience will keep you happy.

Vaping Diaries #9: Apollo E-Cigs eGo VV Review

One of the vaping devices in my current rotation is the eGo VV from Apollo E-Cigs. This is a straightforward variable-voltage battery that’s backed by an unusually high level of service. For those new to variable-voltage vaping, this is a great device to start out with. It’s also a compelling choice for vaping veterans. I’ll explain it all as I break it down (cue the Degeneration-X music).

What’s in the Kit: This is a barebones kit that includes a battery, a UC-E6 to USB cable, instructions, and a certificate of inspection. As of this writing, it lists for $26.95 on Apollo’s web site.

Form Factor: Like the packaging, the form factor and looks are totally straightforward. This is a grey eGo-style e-cig that’s given a bit of flash with the Apollo logo. The threaded tube is topped with a connection that accepts 510 and eGo-threaded parts. I used it with a CE2 clearomizer, a Kanger T3 clearomizer, and a Cirrus Vapes tank — all of them worked just fine.

With the CE2, I’d say the device is pocketable. With the T3, it’s borderline pocketable. As for the tank…well, I don’t really recommend walking around with a large glass e-juice tank in your pocket (but perhaps that’s just me).

Performance: The eGo VV can be adjusted from three volts to six volts in increments of 0.10v. Considering how much this vaping device costs, I was impressed by its accurate and consistent performance. Using the clearos and tanks mentioned above, I vaped anywhere from 3.5v to 4.4v. The voltage was on the money and stayed that way for the majority of the battery’s life. It tuckered out towards the end, but that was totally expected.

Battery Life: I was getting about five hours of battery life per charge with the eGo VV. I’m a fairly regular vaper, so your mileage may vary. With my habits, I was going through a little less than three full batteries per day. Obviously I was getting more battery life at lower voltages and less at higher voltages. If you’re a heavy vaper that’s considering picking up the eGo VV, I’d suggest getting a few.

Two Issues: I had two problems with the eGo VV — one minor and one somewhat major. The minor problem was the USB passthrough charging. While it’s true that you can vape while the battery is charging, you can only do so if there’s sufficient power in the battery. If the battery is low or totally depleted, the unit will not draw enough power from a USB connection to charge the battery and allow you to vape at the same time. To be fair, a lot of USB devices — not just e-cigs — are like this.

The bigger issue I had was with the unit’s firing button. The slightly raised rubber button is too subtle. In conditions with bright lighting, you either have to feel up the battery for a few seconds or briefly look at it to locate the firing button. Low-light situations are more problematic. When I brought it with me to that PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale party last week, I was constantly holding it up to my face for several seconds so that I could find the firing button. While I wouldn’t say the firing button is a deal-breaker, it can be very annoying.

Service and Warranty: The eGo VV is available for a bit less through other vendors, but I highly recommend going with Apollo for this device. The company offers a 30-day money-back guarantee, which is fantastic for those that are just starting out with variable-voltage vaping. It’s also backed by a one-year warranty, which makes this device attractive to novices and veterans alike.

Apollo’s support is also noteworthy. The company offers customer support Monday through Friday, with phone agents available from 8AM to 5PM PST and online-chat agents available from 8AM to 11PM PST. I had a few issues with another Apollo product I’m using and the online support solved my problems (two occurrences) in a snap.

For a relatively small company, I was very impressed with Apollo’s support service, guarantee policy, and warranty policy.

Verdict: If you’ve been thinking about dipping your toe into the world of variable-voltage vaping then the eGo VV from Apollo is a great way to go. It’s a good device, but if it’s not your cup of tea then you can take advantage of the company’s 30-day guarantee. If you’re an experienced vaper looking for a solid but low-cost variable-voltage solution, then picking a couple of these units is a compelling option. The eGo VV is a good vaping device backed by a generous warranty and great service.

If you have any question about my experience with the Apollo E-Cigs eGo VV then please fire away in the comments section.

Vaping Diaries #6: Ovale USA Elips-C Review

For the last week, I’ve been vaping with the Elips-C from Ovale USA. This is a simple e-cigarette with a really svelte and stylish form factor. While it doesn’t have the versatility of Ovale’s eGo-C, I was very happy with the device. It offers very good performance for its size. This is a good kit for beginning vapers that want something that’s easy to use, but aren’t ready or don’t care to experiment with the myriad of parts available for vaping devices with a 510 connection. It’s also good for advanced vapers that want a complementary device — something small and pocketable for when they leave their big gear at home. Here’s a breakdown of my thoughts on the Elips-C.

What’s in the Kit: Currently available for $89.99, the Elips-C kit comes with two batteries, five atomizer heads, two atmozer locks, two mouthpieces, five tank cartridges, three mouthpiece covers, replacement O-rings, a USB charging cable, a USB wall adapter, and a user manual.

Form Factor: In terms of length, the Elips-C is actually shorter than most “standard” e-cigs that mimic the look of tobacco cigarettes. However, it’s wider and flatter. It reminded me of a kazoo…which reminded me of WWE Edge and Christian. And as E&C taught us, kazoos totally rule! When I sent a photo of the device to you guys in the RPad.TV Google+ group, RPadholic N8R mentioned that it looked like a stick of lipstick. Whatever the case, this is a very small device that feels great in the hand is very pocketable. I was very happy with the Elips-C’s form factor and build quality.

Performance: The Elips-C kit comes with two 350 mAh batteries. For comparison’s sake, the V2 standard battery is 250 mAh. I was getting a little under three hours of run time off of a single charge. When I used the Elips-C as an all-day device, I usually went through four full batteries a day. The kit comes with a USB passthrough cable, but performance is only “pseudo” passthrough. You can vape and charge at the same as long as there’s life in the battery. If the battery is completely dead, you won’t be able to vape while it’s plugged in. That’s not too big of a deal though since you get two batteries.

Given its size, I had middling expectations of the device’s flavor and vapor production. Those expectations were exceeded. Both the flavor and the vapor were good. While you’re not going to get the same kind of performance as you would from a large tube mod (nor should you expect to), this little baby does well for such a small vaping device. When you compare this $89.99 kit to what you get from Safe Cig or V2, you’re getting more for your money. The one minor quibble I had was that the Elips-C’s draw is a little tight. That’s a personal preference though.

Consumables: One of the biggest advantages the Elips-C has over the original Elips is that it uses standard eGo-C atomizers. The latter used an all-in-one cartridge that was expensive (currently $15.99). Regular eGo-C atomizers are cheaper (five for $25.99 at Ovale USA) and can be found from numerous vendors. The device also uses a proprietary e-liquid cartridge (five for $6.99), which was expected given its atypical form factor. Ovale USA sells juices with fine tips that fit directly into the cartridge. If you’re using juice from another vendor then you’ll probably need a syringe for refills.

Verdict: I was very happy with the Ovale USA Elips-C. The form factor is just cool and stylish, while the performance is better than most devices this size. For novice vapers, this is a great kit that’s super-easy to use and maintain. For experienced vapers, this is a nice complementary device for when you’re out and about. It’s very pocketable and fantastic for stealth vaping (at parties, dentist offices, restaurants, etc.). The downside is that you’re tied to proprietary consumables and won’t enjoy the versatility of something like the eGo-C. However, I don’t think this product is really in the same category as the eGo-C. In my mind, it competes with starter kits from companies like Safe Cig and V2. In that context, this is a better kit that appeals to more types of vapers. And really, it just looks cool!

Random Thoughts On Cloud Atlas (Not a Review!)

I’m certain that Cloud Atlas will be one of the most divisive movies of 2012. There are parts of it that are wonderfully written, skillfully acted, deftly directed and beautifully filmed. There are also parts of it that are jarring, confusing, and incongruous. Some people will love its boldness and complexity. Others will find it a sloppy mess. As for me, my head is still spinning five days after watching the movie. After having time to digest it, I still feel that Cloud Atlas was more interesting than good. [Mild spoilers ahead!]

For those of you that don’t know the story behind the movie, Cloud Atlas is based on David Mitchell’s book of the same name. It tells six different stories set in different time periods. The idea is that each character’s soul is reincarnated in a different era. The book tells the story chronologically up until the midpoint. From there, the story flows backwards in time, wrapping up each tale.

The movie eschew’s Mitchell’s structure and hops around time periods several times throughout the movie. Each actor plays multiple roles (reincarnated souls, remember?), sometimes portraying someone of a different race or gender. One of the problems with the film, particularly in the beginning, is that the cuts between eras feel abrupt and jarring. This will baffle some moviegoers, almost as if they have to work in order to figure out what’s going on. Adding to the incongruity is that the six stories were written and directed by two teams. The 19th century tale and the two future stories were handled by Andy and Lana Wachowski (The Matrix), while the other three were handled by Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run). At times, they blend together smoothly. At times, the cuts will make you feel like you were hit over the head with a cast iron frying pan.

For simplicities sake, I’m going to comment on the six storylines individually.

The Pacific Journal of Adam Ewing: This story is about a naive American notary in the 1850s. He gets shipwrecked on an island, makes a doctor friend, and makes a slave friend. The doctor turns out to be an opportunistic knob, while the slave ends up saving his life. He returns to America vowing not to support slavery.

While the moral is uplifting, this plot was kind of boring and predictable. Watching a guy getting progressively sicker isn’t fun, especially when you know that he’ll eventually get saved by his newfound slave friend.

Letters from Zedelghem: These scenes were much better. The protagonist is a bisexual music composer named Robert Frobisher. While he has been a lowly prostitute, he seeks fame and fortune through music. To achieve his goals, he interns for a famous composer while boning the composer’s wife on the side (free of charge). He composes the hauntingly beautiful “Cloud Atlas Sextet”, but fortune and glory are exchanged for blackmail and shootings. In addition to the movie scenes, the story is told through letters from Frobisher to his love, Rufus Sixsmith. I really enjoyed the blend of drama and romance in this plot.

Half-Lives — The First Luisa Rey Mystery: This was an enjoyable mystery set in ’70s San Francisco. It was intriguing, with a sprinkle of thrills. I enjoyed seeing familiar San Francisco streets and scenes. The story made me wish that I could spend a year in the ’70s; disco, drugs, careless sex, and polyester get a bad rap. Also, Keith David was completely awesome as a ’70s African-American. He was like Shaft’s bad-ass uncle. Halle Berry was a great ’70s hottie too.

The Ghastly Ordeal of Timothy Cavendish: This modern-day story was uneven, but had some enjoyable moments. The main character is a publisher that suddenly has success when his criminal client’s book gets hot after said criminal kills a critic. Unfortunately, the criminal’s pals want a cut of the book’s revenues. The publisher goes on the run, but gets trapped in a nursing home that’s more like a prison. From there, the story becomes a geriatric version of The Great Escape.

Tom Hanks was awesome as a British thug, Hugo Weaving was hilarious as a menacing female nurse, and Jim Broadbent was charming as the lead.

An Orison of Sonmi~451: This was my favorite plot of the movie and a reminder that the Wachowski siblings excel at sci-fi. It takes place in the future, in a utopian city called New Seoul. Regular people are served by genetically cloned “fabricants” that are promised upward mobility if they perform their jobs well. The reality of fabricant life is disturbing.

Of course there are rebels that want to reveal the truth about fabricants. One of the rebels helps a fabricant named Sonmi 451 live a free life and inspire a revolution (that unfortunately leads to the downfall of civilization). This story is full of action scenes and laser beams, but also has romantic and macabre moments. It was the most interesting, complex, and surprising tale of the six.

Sloosha’s Crossin’ an’ Ev’rythin’ After: This story takes place in post-apocalyptic Hawaii. Tom Hanks plays a goat herder living a primitive life with a tribe. Halle Berry is one of the few people left that has ties to technology. Naturally, the tribespeople are plagued by marauding a-holes wearing face paint. After some tribulations, Hanks has to lead Berry up a mountain to reach some forbidden technology. Adventure ensues, villains attack, and truths are revealed.

The weird thing about this storyline is that the apocalyptic event has lead to a devolution of the English language. When I was talking about this plot with my friend Paul, I referred to it as “The Cajun goat herders story.” The English spoken reminded me of Adam Sandler in The Waterboy. Paul mentioned that it reminded him of the way the tribal kids spoke in Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. The wacky dialogue took away from this story. I kept waiting for Bobby Boucher to run in and save Hanks/Berry with a vicious tackle. Also, Halle Berry stole Princess Leia’s white outfit and it miraculously remained clean throughout a treacherous mountain trek.

Individually, I liked or loved most of the stories. In the book they’re tied together organically. For example, Luisa Rey reads Frobisher’s letters to Sixsmith while Sonmi watches a televised dramatization of Cavendish’s adventures. The movie uses these devices too, but doesn’t follow the same order as the book. Instead, they’re interwoven randomly. Some of the individual stories themselves are told in a time-hopping fashion too. It’s confounding because most of the stories are very good on their own, but something is taken away from the manner in which everything is combined.

The transitions between stories — of which there are like 100 — can be disconcerting. The constant time-hopping makes the number of characters hard to keep track of, especially in the beginning. At times, the movie made me feel a bit stupid. Generally speaking, enjoyable entertainment shouldn’t make you feel dumb.

I’m confident that some people and critics will find Cloud Atlas bold and clever. I’m also confident that some people and critics will find it confusing and haphazardly constructed. All of it is true. Cloud Atlas is a bold and clever movie that’s confusing and haphazardly constructed. I enjoyed, but I’m still not sure if what I saw was very good. Like I said in the intro, it was more interesting than good.