Fake Steve Jobs Backs Off on Operation Chokehold

AT and T FailThe Operation Chokehold fake protest by Fake Steve Jobs has caused quite an uproar. With thousands of fans supporting the mission and dozens denouncing it on Facebook, Operation Chokehold has taken a life of its own. Fake Steve actually hopes that people do not to participate in the digital protest:

For what it’s worth, we don’t expect many people to participate in the flash mob. Even if all 1,600 fans of the Facebook group participate, that’s probably not enough people to crash a network. Is it?

Truth is, I hope not. I really don’t want to cause any actual harm to my fellow AT&T users. Quite the opposite — I feel as if we’re all caught in the same horrible prison, suffering alongside one another.

Earlier today, you guys and dolls debated the merits of this protest. There are fair points on both sides. AT&T’s service does suck and its customers should bring attention to its sucktitude, but people in emergency situations could suffer from the loss of coverage Operation Chokehold could cause.

After almost a day to think about Operation Chokehold, I’m leaning towards it being a non-event. Right now I’m 70/30 on anything noteworthy happening. What do you think? Will AT&T crash on Friday or not?

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Operation Chokehold: Nerds Will Attempt to Crash AT&T on 12/18

A group of (probably fake) engineers (that may or may not be) associated with Fake Steve Jobs plan to bring down AT&T’s mobile network on Friday, December 18. Consider this an indirect invitation to participate in mischief a warning if you’re an AT&T customer. Things might get funky if people take this mission seriously and/or it comes to life through various nerd networks. Here’s the memo:

Vader Chokehold

On Friday, December 18, at noon Pacific time, we will attempt to overwhelm the AT&T data network and bring it to its knees. The goal is to have every iPhone user (or as many as we can) turn on a data intensive app and run that app for one solid hour. Send the message to AT&T that we are sick of their substandard network and sick of their abusive comments. THe idea is we’ll create a digital flash mob. We’re calling it in Operation Chokehold. Join us and speak truth to power!

Most people are dismissing Operation Chokehold as a publicity stunt by Fake Steve Jobs, but there’s a good chance that it will take a life of its own. Fake Steve has a lot of real fans, many of whom are disgruntled AT&T customers. For its part, AT&T has acknowledged Operation Chokehold as a real threat and the company isn’t happy about it. An AT&T told Cult of Mac:

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North Face Serves Up Jacket with iPod Controls

North Face Hustle Audio 2

The North Face’s Hustle Audio jacket solves the problem of controlling your iPod or iPhone while bundled up for the winter. Here’s the skinny on this iPod-controller enhanced parka:

Fashion meets function in this waterproof, breathable, fully seam sealed jacket. Outfitted with innovative audio capability, this new jacket is wired for iPod use with an external joystick control pad on forearm. Designed for athletes who must stay wired, no matter the conditions, riders can easily shuffle through tunes while cruising the park. Technical, rider-specific features designed into jacket including adjustable, removable hood, Recco avalanche rescue reflector, pit-zips, bicep pocket with goggle cloth, and powder-related features to keep riders dry on days when it doesn’t stop dumping the white stuff.

Although I’m a big fan of The North Face, this $600 (MSRP) jacket seems a little ridiculous to me. Then again, nine years in California have made me forget about harsh winters so the Hustle Audio might be necessary for some people.

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Google Nexus One Boot Animation — Windows or Blackest Night?!?

A bunch of tech writers have accused Google of ripping off Microsoft’s Windows colors and animations with the Nexus One boot screen. As a comic-book nerd, that’s not what I’m seeing at all. It’s clearly DC Comics’ War of Light, featuring the Green Lanterns, Sinestro Corps, Red Lanterns, Blue Lanterns, Agent Orange, the Star Sapphires, and the Indigo Tribe. Am I the only one seeing this?!?

Google’s Nexus One Phone Could Disrupt the Market

Google Nexus One

Last Friday, Google gave its employees Nexus One phones, also known as the rumored “Google Phone” coming out in January 2010. Armed with a zippy Snapdragon processor, an OLED screen, and Android OS 2.1, this GSM phone allegedly runs on both AT&T’s and T-Mobile’s 3G bands. One unusual (and cool) feature is that the handset has dual microphones — one for your voice and one for noise cancellation.

The rumor is that Google will be selling these phones directly to the consumer, bypassing mobile providers. Considering that Google has yet to officially confirm that it’s selling the Nexus One, pricing and availability are still TBD. The company has an opportunity to disrupt the market by offering the phone for a low price, hoping to make more money from mobile advertising. That said, most writers are guessing that the phone will be around $399.

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Fake Steve Jobs Speaks on the Fail Whale That is AT&T

Fake Steve JobsI hate to keep picking on AT&T — actually, I don’t — but I found this excellent blog post by Fake Steve Jobs talking about a recent call between Apple and AT&T regarding the iPhone. His Fakeness wrote:

And when I say that “we” have a hit on our hands, I’m really giving you way too much credit, because let’s be honest, the success of iPhone has nothing to do with you. In fact, iPhone is a smash hit in spite of your network, not because of it. That’s how good we are here at Apple — we’re so good that even you and your team of Bell System frigtards can’t stop us. You know what it’s like being your business partner? It’s like trying to swim the English Channel with a boat anchor tied to my legs. And yes, in case you’re not following me, in that analogy, you, my friend, are the f&*(&*g boat anchor.

That’s just awesome stuff.

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AT&T Sucks in San Francisco, After it Promised to Stop Sucking

AT and T FailYesterday I wrote about AT&T president and CEO of mobility and consumer markets Ralph de la Vega vowing that the company would stop sucking in New York City and San Francisco. Perhaps he meant starting next week…. AT&T suffered a major outage in downtown SF today. TechCrunch’s MG Siegler wrote:

This afternoon I started getting an abnormal number of messages from friends over email, IM, and Twitter because they apparently couldn’t text or call me. I tried to use my phone, and sure enough, no dice.

Calls are working sporadically, but the AT&T data network in San Francisco seems to be completely borked right now.

Siegler later reported a customer receiving the following 411 from the company:

Just got off the phone with AT&T — data + SMS in San Francisco is down. It will take 24 to 48 hours (!!!) to fix.

Apparently the problems are (mostly) fine now, but the timing of this latest AT&T failure is hilarious, to which I say, “Ha!”

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AT&T Knows it Sucks in NYC and SF, Vows to Stop Sucking

NYC Skyline

AT&T president & CEO of mobility and consumer markets Ralph de la Vega knows that the company’s mobile service in urban areas is pathetic. He recently acknowledged that the company’s service in New York City and San Francisco is lacking and vowed to improve it. BoyGeniusReport has…er…reported:

AT&T’s very own Ralph de la Vega says that Manhattan and San Francisco’s Financial District “are performing at levels below our standards.” In our own experiences, it seems much worse than that, but we’re happy to finally hear it being acknowledged and addressed. He also says that these issues are going to get fixed. “In both of those markets, I am very confident that you’re going to see significant progress.” Thanks for finally coming out and openly saying it, AT&T, instead of hiding behind figures like “our network covers 97% of the population.”

I remember attending a Giants game at AT&T Park with a friend armed with an iPhone. I found it hilarious that she dropped four calls over nine innings. AT&T can’t even provide decent coverage in its own ballpark! While I’d love to use my iPhone as something other than a glorified iPod Touch, I can’t deal with AT&T’s shoddy service in cities. I’m interested to see if it can improve its network in 2010…or if Verizon and T-Mobile get the iPhone, as many analysts have claimed.

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Apple Tablet with 10.1-inch Display Coming in March for $1,000?

Apple Tablet 2

Ah, the old Apple tablet rumors…. The latest one comes from BoyGeniusReport, which claims that a financial analyst has pegged the product for a March 2010 release:

According to Oppenheimer analyst Yair Reiner, Apple is almost ready to give its Chinese manufacturing partners the green light to begin mass production of the oft-rumored tablet that is believed to feature a 10.1? Multi-Touch capacitive display. If all goes well, Reiner believes that the tablet will be available as early as March provided Apple is able to stockpile enough units in order to minimize any potential shortages. So how many units are we talking? Based on an average retail price of $1,000, Reiner predicts Apple could sell as many as 1.5 million tablets in the first quarter.

Whenever Apple decides to unveil its tablet, you can be sure that millions of people will be in line to snatch one up. I want to know if you’re considering dropping $1,000 for an XXL iPod. It seems so expensive to me, but Apple has an unmatched way of getting people to fall in love with its products, so I wouldn’t be surprised if this expensive tablet was a huge success.

(The image above is just a mock up, FYI.)

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3G4 Brings N64 Emulation to the iPhone

NWorksDev has a Nintendo 64 emulator in the works for the iPhone 3GS and iPod Touch 3G. The company claims that the product is being coded by a 14-year old. Those of you that want some N64 action but thought this mobile N64 gaming system was too bulky might want to look into this app. Engadget reported:

Compatible with the iPhone 3GS and the iPod Touch 3G, this bad boy appears to be rendering down the graphics (as one would expect) but all in all it seems to be running pretty smoothly. Of course, this is a work in progress: the developer (who claims to be 14 years old) says that he has to overcome duplicate button registers, delayed presses, and some crashing — and he has yet to implement the L, R, and Z keys.

I’m still floored that this program is being developed by a 14-year old. I’m pretty sure my biggest accomplishment at 14 was winning some dinky tennis tournament. Making an N64 emulator for iPhone is a much greater feat. Anyway, I’d totally be down for some N64 action on my iPhone. Mario Tennis 4 life!!!

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