(Not a) Review of Dragon Age: Origins Return to Ostagar DLC

[Update 7:52PM PT: The DLC has been pulled because of a bug in the title update.]

Warning: This (not a) review of Dragon Age: Origins Return to Ostagar contains spoilers. Read it at your own peril. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to it! Return to Ostagar is BioWare’s first bit of Dragon Age: Origins downloadable content since launch. It’s currently available on Xbox 360 for 400 Microsoft points, with PC and PlayStation 3 versions hitting later this month. The DLC lets you revisit Ostagar, the location of the game’s first major (and tragic) battle. Here are some observations and opinions (not a review!) on the DLC.

In terms of gameplay, you’re getting less than an hour per run. Most of you will be able to finish the whole thing in less than 45 minutes. It can take a little over an hour if you like to explore every nook and cranny of each area (or if you suck at games).

As I mentioned in the intro, you get to return to a war-torn version of Ostagar, where King Cailan and the Grey Wardens were slaughtered by the darkspawn. The setup is hackneyed, but it gets you to where you’re supposed to go and gives you a goal. As you progress, you see some flashbacks, learn more about Cailan’s dealings, and retrieve the dead king’s weapon and armor. While I had fun in my two runs, most of these features were mildly disappointing. Here’s why:

  • Cailan’s Gear Sucks — If you’re playing this after you’ve beaten the game, chances are you have the blood dragon armor and Starfang. They make Cailan’s armor and King Maric’s sword look wimpy. I suppose you could use them for your secondary warrior, but if you’re playing the game with two warriors then you’re doing it wrong.
  • Depth by Codex — You uncover a set of documents that detail Cailan’s dealings with the Orlesians. They’re interesting and they add intrigue. Unfortunately, it’s all text. I could have gotten the same information and entertainment via email. In fact, if you know someone that loves Dragon Age but is short of cash then you should transcribe these codex entries and send them to your pal via email. That would be a thoughtful gift. And also, Arl Eamon is a dick (another *spoiler*!!!).
  • Sexy Time — Finding Cailan’s corpse leads to a pretty powerful scene, particularly if Alistair is in your party (more on that later). However, the music used in the flashback sounds too similar to the love-making music in the game. Using a similar melody for mourning and sexy time is just…creepy.

The good news is that there are some other items you come across that are pretty cool. Here are some of my favorites:

  • Nug Crusher — This hammer has a cool +100 stamina bonus.
  • Repeater Gloves — A nice set of gloves for ranged combatants.
  • Duncan’s Sword and Dagger — As shown in the trailer, you get to tackle the ogre that offed Cailan and apparently (*wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*) killed Duncan. These weapons are much better than the crap that Cailan had…which leads to a few interesting questions. What was up with Cailan’s weaponsmith and armorer? Did he just suck? Why didn’t Cailan pay Wade a ton of money to make better gear? As Will Ferrell said in Blades of Glory, “It’s mind bottling.”

For the record, I played through the DLC twice. The first time I was accompanied by Alistair, Leliana, and Wynne. This is definitely the way to go. The dialogue between Alistair and Wynne is great, particularly a sexually charged (and gross) bit at the end. My second run was with Oghren, Shale, and Morrigan. Oghren had a few lines, but they didn’t really add anything. The other two characters were mostly silent. I was especially disappointed that Shale didn’t have more to say. [Edit: Just finished a third run with Wynne and “secret character”. Their conversations are also excellent.]

For $5, Return to Ostagar is a pretty poor value. BioWare’s launch DLC offered important features that you could enjoy throughout the entire game. The Stone Prisoner gives you Shale, arguably the most entertaining companion in the game, as well as a versatile warrior. Warden’s Keep gives you an amazingly useful storage chest and access to the best sword in the game. Return to Ostagar has its share of goodies, but nothing nearly as useful or entertaining.

Perhaps people that are still in the middle of their first run or those starting the game for the first time will get more out of Return to Ostagar. While I definitely enjoyed my time with the DLC and will surely play it again, I can’t say it’s a “must buy”. Less than an hour of gameplay and gear that’s only above average for $5? If you really love the game and/or BioWare then knock yourself out. Otherwise, give it some thought before you drop your dough.

Dragon Age: Origins Return to Ostagar DLC Available for Xbox 360

The Return to Ostagar DLC for the excellent Dragon Age: Origins is now available for Xbox Live for 400 Microsoft Points! I just downloaded the 134.11MB content and will start playing as soon as possible. Unfortunately, I have a really cool interview at noon on a product I recently wrote about, but expect a (not a) review by tomorrow at the latest.

Pre-Order God of War III at 7-Eleven and Get a Cool Poster

Sony Computer Entertainment of America has announced God of War III pre-order promotion in conjunction with 7-Eleven. If you pre-order the game in the land of Big Gulps and Slurpees, you’ll get a nifty God of War III poster (pictured above).

It’s a nice promotion, but it got me wondering about the viability of 7-Eleven as a game retailer. I’ve never gone to the store for anything but unhealthy snacks. How about you? Have any of you purchased games at 7-Eleven?

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In Search of a Nerd/Gadget Bandolier

As a frequent flyer, I’ve always wanted a nerd bandolier to hold my BlackBerry, (Sim-less) iPhone, Nintendo DS, PlayStation Portable, and digital camera. It would make organization and security lines so much easier. For the former, I’d have easy access to my gadgets on the airplane. For the latter, I’d just take off my bandolier, put it on the screening belt, and sling it back on after it’s scanned. Plus, it would make me look like a geeky version of Chewbacca.

A friend of mine that’s familiar with my vision pointed me to Setgo’s Transport. This is almost what I want. It doesn’t look quite as cool as Chewbacca’s trusty strap, but it will get the job done. Perhaps I’ll give it a go on my next international flight. For the record, I would only use this for travel. Wearing this on a subway, bus, or crowded urban area would be foolish. You might as well wear a sign that says, “Mug Me!!!”

If any of you know of a nerd bandolier, please let me know!

Netflix Coming to Wii in Spring 2010

Nintendo has announced that the Netflix movie service will be available for its Wii console this spring. Already available on the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 systems, the streaming movie service has been one of the most popular non-gaming features on consoles. Now it will be available on the most popular console in the world. Today’s press release stated:

Netflix is scheduled to go live on the Wii console this spring in the United States at no additional cost to Netflix members who have a plan starting at $8.99 a month, a Wii console and a broadband Internet connection.

I’m curious to see how Netflix will do on the Wii. Obviously the installed base is enormous, but I wonder how many casual gamers even have their systems connected to the Internet. For enthusiasts gamers that have multiple consoles, there’s no reason to use the service on the visually challenged (but environmentally friendly *snicker*) console; they’d be better of using the PS3 or Xbox 360 for a superior image. I’m sure Netflix will do well on the system, but I’m not sure how well.

Any thoughts on the matter?

Coffee Talk #64: The Great Box Art Controversy

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, Lane Kiffin jumping from Tennessee to USC, Conan O’Brien vs. Jay Leno, or what Jose Canseco injected into you, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

The box art for Heavy Rain has been getting a lot of criticism from American enthusiast gamers. A lot of of them feel that the European version is vastly superior and Americans are getting the shaft by out-of-touch marketers. Personally, I like both boxes and don’t see what the big deal is, but I’m reminded of a situation where I did care: Ico.

The American box art for Ico sucked and I was jealous that gamers around the world had a prettier version. It’s a bit irrational, for sure. The game wasn’t any better or worse because of the box. Sony certainly didn’t care if the box made its customers happy since they already bought the game. The majority of gamers didn’t care or didn’t know that there was better box art in other lands. All that said, for a small group of people this was a huge deal. In retrospect, I’m not even sure why the whole thing bothered me so much. Capricious youth?

Today I wanted to see how you felt about box art for games. Does your blood boil when cooler art is available in Europe or Japan? Or do you not care at all?

The Late Shift II: Conan O’Brien Issues Lengthy Statement, Tells NBC to Suck It

Ah, the drama surrounding NBC’s late-night programming — it’s like 1992 all over again! This time around, NBC awarded the outstanding Conan O’Brien with The Tonight Show, but aims to bring Jay Leno back to the 11:35 time slot for a half-hour program. This would move O’Brien’s show to 12:05 and Late Night with Jimmy Fallon even later.

I must admit that I’m biased and greatly prefer O’Brien over Leno, but I don’t see how anyone can think this is anything but a dick move on NBC’s part. It’s disrespectful and discourteous, even more so than the aforementioned Leno/Letterman struggle after Johnny Carson’s retirement (watch the excellent movie The Late Shift for more info). I’m completely behind O’Brien on this one and I hope that he gets everything he wants.

Check out O’Brien’s full statement and let me know which side you’re on (please)!

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

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Beyonce Gets Her Nintendo DSi Groove On in Style Savvy

I’m pretty sure that none of you are interested in Style Savvy for Nintendo DS, but a few of you will want to check out these photos of Beyonce filming a commercial for the game. She’s beautiful and talented…and according to a certain hip-hop artist is responsible for one of the greatest videos of all time. According to the press materials:

Beyonce has fun during filming of two upcoming commercials for Style Savvy, a new fashion game for the portable Nintendo DS and Nintendo DSi, in Long Island City, New York. Five designs from the real-life Dereon clothing line co-created by Beyonce and her mother, designer Tina Knowles, will be available for download in Style Savvy in the coming months.

Well, I’m glad she had fun. Ha!

VectorForce: Cal State Students Get Game on Xbox Live

A group of California State University San Bernardino students have made their way onto the Xbox Live Marketplace with an old-school shooter called VectorForce. The effort is part of the school’s computer systems game development program. According to Game Politics:

The arcade-styled shooter took two years to create and involved over a dozen students in all, who worked on the project under the tutelage of Professors Art Concepcion and David Turner. Student Mark Chapman took on the role of the game’s designer.

I will download this game on principle and as part of my new year’s resolution. C’mon guys (and gals)! Let’s support these kids!

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