(Not a) Review of Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic

I attended a screening of Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic on Tueday. It was full of ultra-violence, disturbing imagery, cool animation, and vagina-shaped thingies. As a standalone animated film, it was okay. As an animated film that promotes a game, it totally succeeded in making me want to play Dante’s Inferno. Here are some assorted thoughts (not a review!) on the movie.

In the first few seconds, I was impressed with the animation style and was expecting something fairly realistic. The first three minutes of the film shattered all of my expectations. It went something like this:

  • Minute One: Dante’s horse flies upside down. For a second I thought he was attempting to do M. Bison’s “psycho crusher” from Street Fighter.
  • Minute Two: Dante returns home to find the slaughtered remains of his family and servants. This was just a taste of the gore that was about to come.
  • Minute Three: The spirit of Dante’s beloved Beatrice Portinari goes full frontal. This was just a taste of the boobs and vaginae that were were about to come.

So yeah! The animation style was impressive and disturbing in that tentacle-porn way. Compared to Planet Hulk, an animated film I recently saw, the art style and technique were out of this world. That said, some people might not like that several different animation studios with distinct art styles contributed to this movie. One of my friends in atendance didn’t like how disjointed and inconsistent everything was. In some scenes, Dante was thin and had long hair. In other scenes he was buff and had short hair. His appearance during the flashbacks reflected whatever style a particular animation house was using.

Perhaps I’m giving the film too much credit, but I chalked it up to journeying through a spiritual realm and perception changing in the various Circles of Hell. Hmmm, after typing that thought, I’m definitely giving the film too much credit.

Oh yeah, the Nine Circles of Hell hurts and works for this movie. Starting in the real world, traveling through the Nine Circles, and having flashbacks is a lot to do in an 88-minute movie. It definitely feels rushed and sometimes forced. Death’s Scythe — one of Dante’s two major weapons — isn’t explained at all; it seems like it’s just a random object Dante finds early in the movie and keeps for the next 84 minutes. Virgil’s introduction is done in like 15 seconds, “Hey, I’m Virgil! You loved my poetry and I’ll be your guide. Try the veal!” The way it does work is that it teases each circle as a level. It made me want to see more of each level and all of the boss fights.

The violence in the movie is completely over-the-top and it can be lots of fun. Some of the fight scenes were awesome, but by the end of the film I had my fill. The impact of Dante’s showdown with Lucifer was lost on me because my brain couldn’t process any more violence. If crazy fight scenes are your thing then you’ll love this flick. It makes Kill Bill look like Bambi.

There are some people — a certain game designer with a masters in English that’s working on BioShock 2 comes to mind — that will be offended by the movie’s liberties. Sure, a lot of details were altered, but the movie (and presumably the game) had far more accuracies than I was expecting. If it gets people interested in The Divine Comedy and leads to gamers reading the books, that’s just a fantastic thing. Besides, if you were expecting a literal translation in this movie or the game then you’re just stupid.

Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic comes out on February 9, 2010 — the same week as the game. This is a mistake. It should be out now to generate more interest in the game. As a marketing tool, it excels at making people want to play on PS3 and Xbox 360. Few people are going to want to buy it after playing. It entertained me, but it’s hard to recommend it as a Blu-ray or DVD purchase. I do think it would be an excellent impulse download on PSN or Xbox Live, so long as you’re expecting tons of gratuitous violence, gallons of blood, and vagina walls.

Zatanna Zatara Screens and Concept Art

Sony Online Entertainment has released a batch of renders and concept art for Zatanna Zatara in DC Universe Online for PC and PS3. One of the reasons I prefer DC over Marvel is its excellent secondary characters. Zatanna totally fits the bill. She’s a sexy lady in a ridiculous costumer (fishnets?!?) and her formidable powers come from saying words backwards. It’s so wacky that I love it (and her)! Hopefully her stupid alternate costumer with the dumb headpiece will be available as well.

Mortal Kombat Movie Reboot in the Works?

Word on the street is that Warner Bros. is looking to reboot the Mortal Kombat movie franchise. The first movie was fun and full of unintentional comedy. The second movie was…not so good. Before I get into my reasoning for why the first movie is worth watching, here’s the word from Bloody Disgusting:

Warner Bros. Pictures has been looking to redo Mortal Kombat with Oren Uziel in talks to write. Based on Midway’s popular 1992 video game, the franchise follows the best fighters from around the globe who are summoned to an island to compete in a tournament whose outcome will determine the fate of the entire planet. Uziel’s Shimmer Lake made the 2009 black list, which features the best unproduced screenplays around Hollywood.

Okay, I will swear up and down the West Coast that the first movie is worth seeing. It has Christopher Lambert’s ridiculous accent, the sexy Talisa Soto, the future Mrs. Pete Sampras (or Veronica Vaughn from Billy Madison, if you will), a bunch of martial artists from the WMAC Masters show, and Robin Shou’s Richie Sambora-inspired hair! These components are like the Voltron lions; you add ’em up and the first MK movie becomes an unstoppable giant-robot force of a flick! I’m right about this. Don’t question me.

Source via Joystiq

Coffee Talk #75: My Three Favorite Gaming Videos on YouTube

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, Serena Williams slamming it Down Under, Neil Patrick Harris ruling American Idol, or the Brangelina breakup, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

YouTube is just a brilliant time waster. There are so many excellent clips on the service. Whether you’re looking for something interesting, stupid, violent, or moronic, YouTube surely has something that will tickle your fancy. Naturally, there’s a lot of great gaming content to be found. Here are three of my favorite gaming clips on YouTube.

#3 “Temptation of Sonata” — Ivy
This K-pop video takes its cues from Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. I’m shocked at how accurately the fight scene between Tifa and Loz is recreated in this video for a goofy song. I’m a big fan of the movie and Korean women, so this totally works for me.

#2 “Wind Waker Unplugged” — Freddie25
Here’s an absolutely brilliant acoustic performance of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker’s theme. I wish the kid would forget about school and make more of these videos.

#1 Snorlax Owns
This is the only clip that’s not safe for work. It has naughty language from two idiots. Basically it’s two guys with NY accents lewdly commenting on the short movie that accompanied Pokemon the Movie 2000. While the accents remind me of home, the Pokemon knowledge of the narrator is pretty impressive (though he gets confused by the dragonair at the end). It’s just hilarious to hear two dudes cursing each other out over Pokemon. “That’s not raichu dick! That’s f*ckin’ pikachu!”

Now it’s your turn! I’d love to check out some of your favorite gaming videos on YouTube. If you have the time then please post a link and tell my why you dig your video.

Upcoming Xbox Live Marketplace Goodies

Microsoft marketing tool Major Nelson has posted a bunch of upcoming Xbox Live Marketplace goodies that are hitting the service between now and early February. Check ’em out:

Xbox Live Deal of the Week:
Feb. 1: Splosion Man, 400 Microsoft Points

Xbox Live Games on Demand:
Jan. 26: Dead Rising and Halo Wars
Feb. 2: Medal of Honor: Airborne

Xbox Live Arcade:
Jan. 27: KrissX, 800 Microsoft Points
Feb. 3: Chime, 400 Microsoft Points

Xbox Avatars Marketplace:
Jan. 28: Assassin’s Creed
Feb. 4 : Valentine’s Day and Carnival collections

Game Add-Ons:
Jan. 27: Pinball FX Excalibur Table, 240 Microsoft Points
Jan. 28: Assassin’s Creed II: Battle of Forli, 320 Microsoft Points
Feb. 2: Halo 3 Mythic 2 Map Pack, 800 Microsoft Points

Anything on the list interest you?

Source

Portal: Still Alive is the Xbox Live Deal of the Week

Microsoft’s Xbox Live Deal of the Week is Portal: Still Alive for 800 Microsoft Points. Originally part of The Orange Box, Portal received a ton of critical hype and all of it was deserved. Blending puzzles, action, and great storytelling, Portal wasn’t what I was expecting at all (and I mean that in the best way possible). If you haven’t played this game, I highly recommend it. It’s unique, fresh, and inventive — just an amazing experience.

The good news is that it’s on sale for $10. The bad news is that it might be a better deal to just buy The Orange Box for less than $20.

Source

Heavy Rain “Four Days” Online Game Details

Can’t wait for Heavy Rain for Sony PlayStation 3? I’m sure a lot of you are in that boat (me too!). To help market the game and add some hype, Sony has launched the Heavy Rain: Four Days online game to help tide you over until its release. Sony Computer Entertainment of America product marketing manager Jefferson Dong (aka “The Donger”) served up some details on Four Days Challenge:

You can experience “Four Days”: The Heavy Rain Online Experience, a live online mystery that plays out in real time across three weeks, drawing you into the mystery and lore of the Heavy Rain universe. Between Tuesday and Friday every week there will be daily tasks for you to complete (leaving you the weekend to catch up if you fall behind). Each task will lead you to the next part of the journey. At certain key stages you will be prompted, while on other occasions you will need to deduce the right thing to do.

I like that publishers are using online games to create excitement for console games. EA and BioWare did a fine job with Dragon Age: Journeys, though that title offered items that could be imported into the main game. With the wizardry of HTML 5, I’m sure these online games will get even cooler in the future.

Any of you going to give Four Days a spin?

Source

Coffee Talk #73: Are You Single Player or Multiplayer?

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, tomorrow’s potentially huge Apple press conference, this excellent “Pants on the Ground” cover, or if Shawn Michaels will end The Undertaker’s streak at WrestleMania, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

As I mentioned yesterday, MAG is available for Sony’s PlayStation 3 console. A lot of people are into the game simply because it supports 256 players. It’s a notable achievement, for sure, but for the most part it doesn’t interest me. For me, playing is a game is similar to watching a movie — it’s something that I enjoy by myself.

Certainly there are exceptions and I’ve definitely played my share of competitive multiplayer games. I went through a pretty big Quake/Unreal phase and I did have an EverQuest addiction at one point. I definitely enjoy playing cooperative games with a friend too. However, at the end of the day I love story-driven single-player games. When I watch movies at home or in the theaters, I pretty much shut everyone out. When I read comic books, it’s all about me getting absorbed into another world. This is my preference for gaming too.

How about you ladies and gents? Do you prefer multiplayer titles or single-player ones? Are games a solitary experience for you? Or do you enjoy sharing the excitement with a group of friends and strangers? I want to know what you’re thinking (pure energy)!

MLB 10: The Show Pre-Order Bonus: Free Classic Stadiums

Sony Computer Entertainment of America product marketing manager Chris Munson announced that gamers that pre-order MLB 10: The Show will receive a free voucher for six classic baseball stadiums that can be used in the game. The ballparks include:

  • The Polo Grounds (New York Mets)
  • Shibe Park (Philadelphia Phillies)
  • Forbes Field (Pittsburgh Pirates)
  • Crosley Field (Cincinnati Reds)
  • Sportsman’s Park (St. Louis Browns, St. Louis Cardinals)
  • Griffith Stadium (Washington Senators)

As a longtime baseball fan, I love this perk. I probably would have paid for the parks as DLC. Getting them for free is a great incentive to pre-order.

On a side note, the inclusion of The Polo Grounds reminded me of RPadholic and excellent pal @jpkmets. I’m sure he’d love to play on the old field.

Okay baseball fans, does this pre-order bonus make you want to drop money on a game sooner rather than later?

Source

PadCast: The One with SwitchGames’ Jason Crawford

Today’s RPad.tv “PadCast” features SwitchGames founder Jason Crawford. In addition to getting an update on Crawford’s burgeoning peer-to-peer game-trading service and community, we…kind of go all over the place. Things start off with an update on SwitchGames and move on to your excellent questions, where Crawford reveals how digital distribution will affect his business. From there we chat about the Apple tablet, what James Cameron and Rivers Cuomo have in common, Batman: Arkham Asylum, and more!

It’s long, but I think it’s a fun and informative conversation. As always, huge props to N8R for putting the video together. Please check it out and let me know what you think (please)!