Videogames Archives - Page 4 of 178

Coffee Talk #640: Who’s Your Favorite Ninja?

I recently saw the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot and was incredibly disappointed. The movie is a wretched piece of crap that tarnishes the TMNT franchise and is an embarrassment to ninjas around the world. Thankfully, I watched a superior TMNT movie (more on that later this week) to cleanse my palette. The whole ordeal got me thinking about ninjas and wanting to discuss ninjas with you. There are so many awesome ninjas from comic books, movies, television, and videogames. Who are some of your favorites? Let’s use today’s Coffee Talk column to discuss the wonderful world of ninjas.

Michael Dudikoff (American Ninja): I have a feeling that many of you will choose Dudikoff as your top pick. That’s a completely understandable selection. As a gaggle of British videogame developers once told me, American Ninja is the pinnacle of American cinema. Dudikoff — possibly the most underrated action star in movie history — totally makes this series and shows that a white man can succeed in the Japanese art of ninjutsu.

Lee Van Cleef (Master Ninja): This Western ninja is awesome, simply because he’s so ridiculous. An old Lee Van Cleef is completely unbelievable as a master of ninjutsu. The unbelievability is a fantastic source of unintentional comedy in Master Ninja. In addition to a washed up cowboy playing a ninja, the series also blessed the world with Timothy Van Patton’s gratuitous voiceovers. These two negatives combine for positively awesome entertainment.

Elektra Natchios (Daredevil): On a more serious note, Marvel Comics’ Elektra is one of the most kick-ass women in the history of comics. She’s deadly and ruthless. She made sais cool way before TMNT’s Raphael ever did. She has come back from the dead. She’s been a hero, villain, and anti-hero. Most importantly, she executes all of her ninjutsu bad-assery while wearing clothing that’s completely inappropriate for combat (and way to revealing). On the downside, she was killed by Bullseye and replaced by a Skrull.

Ryu Hayabusa (Ninja Gaiden): The star of the Ninja Gaiden series and a competitor in the Dead or Alive fighting games, Hayabusa is arguably the most accomplished ninja in the history of videogames. A rare crossover star, he has appeared in some excellent action games and fighting games. He has also made cameos in other games, like Dynasty Warriors: Strikeforce and Super Swing Golf: Season 2. Ninjas are generally awesome. A ninja that can play golf is…breathtaking.

Your Picks: Now it’s your turn! Kindly share some of your favorite ninjas from comics, TV, movies, and videogames. Please leave your picks in the comments section.

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, the sad death of Robin Williams, the casting choices for the Saved by the Bell behind-the-scenes movie, or the best meat for fried rice, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Check Out the Dino Skater Trailer (Please!)

Following the super-fun Pogo Plumber, Apptly has released a trailer for its upcoming game Dino Skater. Another old-school platform game from Apptly, Dino Skater features traditional platformer elements like side-scrolling action and coin collecting. Instead of playing as a kindhearted plumber or a speedy hedgehog, you play as a skateboarding dinosaur. As you know, skateboarding dinosaurs are all kinds of awesome, because…skateboarding dinosaur! Dino Skater is a free to play game, with in-app purchases available for “cosmetic upgrades.” When you have a chance, check out the trailer below and let me know if you’re interested in Dino Skater.

Saber’s Edge, To-Fu Fury Exclusive to Amazon Fire Phone

Amazon Game Studios has announced a pair of videogames exclusive to the upcoming Amazon Fire Phone — Saber’s Edge and To-Fu Fury. Saber’s Edge combines puzzle gameplay with strategic combat, while To-Fu Fury is a platform game that appears to star a…menacing ninja marshmallow (yes, I know it’s a tofu cube). Both games take advantage of the Fire Phone’s unique “Dynamic Perspective” feature. You can check out the trailers for both games below. Here’s a clip from the press release:

Saber’s Edge and To-Fu Fury are co-developed with partners, Hibernum and HotGen as part of Amazon Game Studios’ mission to build fun, immersive games from the ground up for Amazon devices. These new games were created exclusively for Fire phone and take advantage of Amazon’s groundbreaking Dynamic Perspective. With Dynamic Perspective, Fire phone enables players to control gameplay with their head movements or by tilting the device to change direction or view.

‘Amazon Game Studios is working with some of the best studios to co-develop games that leverage the amazing capabilities of our new devices,’ said Mike Frazzini, Vice President of Amazon Games. ‘The new games we are releasing today deeply integrate Dynamic Perspective and offer players new ways to engage with games—using head movements to navigate gameplay and tilt gestures to strategize upcoming moves.’

While I was intrigued by the Amazon Fire Phone when it was announced, there are some aspects of it that are unappealing to certain tech nerds. Seeing “exclusive” games like Saber’s Edge and To-Fu Fury is an important step in the right direction. Content is king and exclusive content is…uhm…an intergalactic warlord (yeah, that’s it!). It’s good to see Amazon supporting its unique phone with unique software. These titles should be the first of many that are exclusive to the Amazon Fire Phone.

Amazon appears to understand how important mobile games are and looks like it will support its hardware nicely through Amazon Game Studios. While I’m interested in the games (particularly To-Fu Fury), I’m more interested in seeing how big and bold Amazon Game Studios will be. There’s some fantastic potential there and it’s always good to have another big player in the videogame space.

Anyway, check out the trailers when you have a chance and let me know what you think about the games (please!). Also, what do you think Amazon will accomplish with Amazon Game Studios?

Coffee Talk #637: Ford Focus Electric and the Gamification of Driving

Driving a Ford Focus Electric has a lot of similarities to playing videogames on a home console. In the immortal word of Christopher Cross, “It sounds crazy, but it’s true.” The Ford Focus Electric has a system of achievements, scores, and leaderboards that supplement the driving experience, similar to how PlayStation and Xbox consoles have these features to supplement the videogame experience. For certain drivers (i.e. nerdy ones), it makes driving more fun.

On the “My Driving” page on MyFordMobile.com, Ford Focus Electric drivers can keep track of their “Brake Score” and “Driving Score.” The former measures how well or poorly the driver uses the car’s regenerative breaking system. The latter factors in overall acceleration, breaking, and speed. The goal is to encourage Ford Focus Electric drivers to use their cars more efficiently and get the most out of every battery charge. For gamers and people that just like racking up high scores, this feature can be incredibly appealing.

Achievement whores will enjoy driving the Ford Focus Electric, simply because they can unlock achievements. MyFordMobile.com breaks up achievements into three categories: driving, environmental impact, and community. The categories are self-explanatory and appeal to different types of drivers. Those that care most about single-player achievements will focus on driving, tree huggers will want to rack up as many impact achievements as possible, and those with multiplayer leanings will enjoy unlocking community achievements. Again, it’s a fun way to supplement the Ford Focus Electric driving experience for people that know and enjoy these kinds of gaming systems, while those that are unfamiliar or dislike gamification can ignore this aspect of the vehicle.

Naturally, the biggest difference between the Ford Focus Electric’s various scores and achievements compared to their videogame counterparts is the way they’re presented. Whether you drive a Ford Focus Electric or see one on the road, you want all drivers to be focused on the road and driving conditions. You do not want someone zipping along, getting giddy from a dashboard achievement notification, taking their eye off of the road, and smashing into you. With that in mind, Ford Focus Electric scores and achievements can only be viewed on MyFordMobile.com, while leaderboards can be viewed on the MyFordMobile website and app. While this takes away the instant gratification of unlocking an achievement in a videogame, it’s safer for everyone on the road.

Speaking of leaderboards, this is probably the most robust gamification feature in the MyFordMobile system. There are currently six leaderboards: Braking Expert, EV Stretcher, EV Tour Guide, Kinetic Ninja, Renaissance Man, and Zen Master. The leaderboards are currently broken up into 14 regions that span America and Canada. You can read the descriptions of each leaderboard and see examples in the image gallery below.

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I know that many of you hate the term gamification and what it usually entails, but in the case of the Ford Focus Electric, it’s pretty cool. Achievements, scores, and leaderboards on MyFordMobile.com provide ancillary features that make driving a Ford Focus Electric more fun. These features certainly aren’t for everyone, but for gamers and competitive people, they enhance the driving experience.

As a lifelong videogame nerd, these gamification features make me hit up MyFordMobile.com at least daily (usually after every trip, if time permits). I enjoy unlocking achievements. It’s fun trying to maximize my “Brake Score” and “Driving Score.” While I don’t care for what muscle cars and rice rockets bring to the table, I’m all about nerding up driving. That’s exactly what Ford has done with the gamification features of the Ford Focus Electric.

What do you guys and gals think of these features? Do you think that’d you enjoy them? Or are you annoyed by the proliferation of gamification? Leave a comment and let me know (please!).

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, the WWE Battleground PPV, Steven Gerrard retiring from English football duty, or the irritating Netflix vs. Verizon feud, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Check Out Pogo Plumber (Please!)

My darling ex-fiancé pointed me out to a fun game called Pogo Plumber. This 2D side-scroller is available now for iOS and is coming soon to Android devices. Pogo Plumber is a real treat for fans of 8-bit platformers and contains several familiar elements — a high-jumping plumber, collecting coins, minions that require head stomping, and more. Pogo Plumber is a free-to-play game, so kindly download it when you have a chance and share your thoughts on it in the comments section.

Right about now a few of you are thinking, “Oh great, Ray, another free-to-play game you want us to try….” Don’t sweat it! The in-app purchases aren’t bad. There are cosmetic items for those of you that like to play with dollies, as well as more practical things like coin doublers and continues. After playing the game for a couple of days, I assure you that it’s good for a quick fix of old-school gameplay. Unlike free-to-play games from some other publishers (I want to name drop…but won’t), Pogo Plumber isn’t obnoxious about in-app purchases. They’re there if you want them, but easy enough to ignore if you just want a small dose of 2D side-scrolling joy.

So please, please, please hit up the link above, download Pogo Plumber, and let me know what you think of the game.

Coffee Talk #629: Random Thoughts on E3 2014

Now that we’ve all had a few days to absorb the multimedia assault that was E3 2014, let’s talk about the show! I was working for two outlets during E3 2014, so my schedule was all over the place. I did see a lot of great games, but it’s likely that you guys and gals were exposed to more from reading various articles and watching different videos. The thing that surprised me the most about E3 2014 was that there were a lot of mainstream games that excited me. For the last couple of years, independent games like Journey, Sound Shapes, and The Unfinished Swan were my big favorites. While I certainly enjoyed several indie games at E3 2014, there were a lot of mainstream games I had a blast with too. Here are some random thoughts on the show…continued

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, the start of the 2014 World Cup, getting into a car accident on the way to The Vape Summit, or said accident crushing your coverage plans, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Nintendo Ruled — The Nintendo booth is usually the happiest place at any E3, but this year it was my happy place. I absolutely loved Yoshi’s Wooly World, Kirby and the Rainbow Curse, and Super Smash Bros. 4. Although I kept calling it Zelda Samurai Warriors, I had more fun than I expected to with Hyrule Warriors. Kicking ass with Zelda was extremely satisfying. I knew nothing about Splatoon going into E3 2014, but it was great fun as well. At the end of the day, Yoshi’s Wooly World was my favorite game of E3 2014.

Nintendo’s E3 2014 lineup was so well received that many people said things to me like, “I’m totally getting a Wii U now!” and, “Sweet! I’m really looking forward to dusting off my Wii U!”

On a side note, I pitched a high-ranking Nintendo of America exec on using Cat Stevens’ “Wild World” to market Yoshi’s Wooly World. Can’t you hear the commercial?!? “Oh baby baby, it’s a Wooly World.” That totally works…in my head, anyway.

Because I’m Batman: Rocksteady Studios’ first couple of Arkham games took Batman (and really, all superhero games) to new heights. I have a strong feeling that Batman: Arkham Knight will be the best yet. The demo had several elements from the previous games that I loved, plus some all-new Batmobile gameplay. The Batmobile stuff was so much fun that I can see myself enjoying that aspect of the game for hours and being completely satisfied. While I was disappointed that Batman: Arkham Knight got pushed to 2015, the E3 2014 demo showed a game that’s absolutely worth waiting for.

Indie Love: Naturally, there were several indie games that I ended up loving. Some pals from Sony instructed me to play Hohokum and I’m so glad that they did. This exploration/puzzle game is so aurally and visually pleasing that it’s easy to forget about the game’s goals while you’re soaking up the lovely sights and sounds. The game’s soundtrack is by Ghostly International and features several tracks by Tycho. Hohokum just made me happy every time I played it and the same thing happened to everyone that I dragged over to spend time with the game. This was probably my second-favorite game of E3 2014, so thanks Nate and Zach for making me check it out!

Meanwhile, at the Microsoft booth, my buddy Charla instructed me to check out Lifeless Planet at the ID@Xbox area. Another exploration/puzzle game, I was really struck by the sights and sounds of this one too, but in a very different way from Hohokum. While Hohokum is all about making you feel happy, Lifeless Planet is all about creating a sense of isolation as you explore a desolate world. The game’s graphics and sounds do a fantastic job at creating a sense of foreboding solitude. I definitely want to see more of this one…but in a brightly lit living room so as not to wig out.

Lastly, Galak-Z is an old-school sci-fi shooter that blends elements of classic anime and shooting games. It’s fun to play and watch other people play. If you’re into masochistic shooters that delight you with difficulty then you’ll definitely want to check out Galak-Z. I fully expect this game to be a darling among videogame journalists.

Les Unite: Several of you feel that Assassin’s Creed 2 was the pinnacle of the series and the games have been going (slightly) downhill ever since. I’m totally with you on that, so I was cautiously optimistic after being delighted by the Assassin’s Creed Unity trailer. After seeing the demo, half of me feels that Unity will be the Assassin’s Creed game that many AC2 fans are crying for. The other, more cynical half of me fears that Ubisoft whipped up an outstanding trailer and demo. Still, let’s be optimistic here and (cautiously) hope that Assassin’s Creed Unity ends up being the game that many longtime AC fans want.

Your Turn: Naturally, I want to hear how E3 2014 played in your head. What did you love? What did you hate? Any games surprise you? Any games disappoint you? As excited as I was to be at the show, I’m more excited to hear your thoughts on E3 2014, so fire away in the comments section (please)!

Coffee Talk #628: What You Want From E3 2014

E3 2014 is just around the corner. Honestly, I’ve been avoiding thinking much about it. My June is pretty nuts — E3, The Vape Summit, hosting a pair of store grand openings, family visits, and more. Obviously E3 shows are something that I always look forward to; they’re wondrous events that are unlike any other trade show I’ve attended (and I’ve attended a ton of ’em). It’s always awesome seeing new games, seeing how other games are coming along, watching the press conference spectacles, watching the publisher pissing contests, and (most of all) catching up with longtime colleagues in the gaming business. Still, I’m so detached from the industry at the moment that I don’t…continued

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, 50 Cent’s new album, the rumor that Marvel will cancel the Fantastic Four comics to spite Fox’s FF movie, or weeping that AJ Lee is off the market, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

That’s not to say that I won’t be busy. I’ll be spending the bulk of my E3 2014 days working for EGM and a couple of minutes each day doing daily video recaps for a foreign outlet (they love me in Singapore). While I won’t have much “free” time, I’ll be using it to check out a few indie games that I’m high on and checking out stuff for you guys.

So how about it? What are you looking forward to at E3 2014? Are there any games that you’d like me to check out on your behalf? Is there an aspect of the console war that you’d like me to keep tabs on? Is there an executive you’d like me to throw a drink at? Share your E3 2014 hopes, wishes, dreams, and requests in the comments section (please!).

Coffee Talk #625: Videogame Journalists Done Good

StarWars.com recently announced that Gareth Edwards (Godzilla) and Gary Whitta will be working on the first Star Wars standalone spinoff movie. The second name took me by surprise (gleefully). You see, Whitta is a former videogame journalist. He was the editor of several gaming magazines for Future US and was quite popular within the business. Since (mostly) leaving the business, Whitta has written the screenplays for The Book of Eli and After Earth. Working on a Star Wars movie will undoubtedly take his success to new heights.

Hearing about Whitta’s Star Wars news reminded me of Kieron Gillen. Another…continued

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, speculating on which player the Cleveland Cavaliers will take with the number-one pick in the 2014 NBA draft, your favorite Memorial Day barbecue food, or pregnant Mila Kunis, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Hearing about Whitta’s Star Wars news reminded me of Kieron Gillen. Another former videogame journalist, Gillen has written some of the best comics published in the last five years. His work on AvX: Consequences was great enough to redeem the sometimes banal Avengers vs. X-Men event. Gillen made me a Kid Loki fan for life with his thoroughly entertaining run on Journey Into Mystery. His work on Young Avengers is, in my opinion, one of the most criminally underrated books released in the last few years.

Guys like Whitta and Gillen make me happy. In Whitta’s case, it’s always awesome to see a colleague succeed. In the case of both gentlemen (I’ve never met Gillen in real life), it’s particularly satisfying to see them have fantastic success beyond the videogame world. Don’t get me wrong — I love the videogame business and will always be grateful for how it has enriched my life, but I have mixed feelings about being labeled a videogame journalist (even though I’m technically a verbal entertainer).

Within the business, videogame journalists aren’t thought of highly. There are exceptions, of course, but many journalists are only well regarded by PR people (and even that’s arguable). A lot of executives and developers look at journalists as pretty low on the industry’s totem pole. One famous developer once half-jokingly told me, “You know, you guys are just one step above GameStop clerks as far as being important to the business.”

Personally, I don’t disagree with what my designer buddy told me. I never cared about “being important to the business.” I love writing about games for people that love reading about games. The problem is that there are many videogame journalists that think they’re way more important than they actually are. Some of them genuinely think that they’re movers and shakers in the industry. Those kinds of videogame journalists always bothered me; they’re more concerned about promoting their own brand and meeting the right people in game publishing in order to get a better job than serving their audience with their words.

Self-important critics (from any industry) always bring me back to the words of Anton Ego from Ratatouille:

In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.

While I would love to work at a videogame outlet that’s primarily concerned about making fun content and staffed by a team that loves serving an audience, I can’t help but be inspired by people like Whitta and Gillen. It’s awesome that they’re enjoying tremendous success outside of the videogame realm. It’s nice to see that the boys done good.

Kingston HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset Review

Millions of consumers know Kingston for its memory products. Most of you have probably purchased PC RAM or a memory card from the company. Kingston is trying to make a name for itself in the gaming world and one of the company’s latest gaming-focused products is the HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset. I’ve been using a pair for the last few weeks and while it’s not the best gaming headset I’ve used, the HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset offers a lot for a sub-$100 set of cans.

What’s in the Box: A rebranded version of the QPad QH-90, the HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset comes with the unit, two sets of ear pads (one leatherette, one velour), a detachable microphone, an audio control box, and a carrying pouch. The packing and presentation are handled in a classy fashion — much more elaborate than what you see with most competing headsets in this price range.

Construction and Build Quality: The HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset’s body is made primarily from aluminum. The aluminum construction allows the headset to be strong and light. The unit is very well made, with build quality that surpasses many competitors in the sub-$100 price range. Many European gamers I know rave about QPad’s build quality, but the brand is uncommon in America, so I haven’t had any experience with the company’s headsets. After using the HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset, I see what all the fuss is about. It “feels” more expensive than a $99 headset.

The one minor complaint I had with the unit’s construction was with the rubber cover for the microphone port. It comes off completely from the headset and I can see many gamers eventually losing it. It’s not a big deal at all, just a tiny annoyance.

Comfort: The most outstanding feature of the HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset is its comfort. You can wear these babies comfortably for hours and hours. The combination of a light frame and great padding (headband and ear cups) works fabulously. I’ve worn this headset for several three-hour sessions and didn’t feel any stress on my ears. After using it for six hours straight, the strain was minimal. The velour pads are more comfortable, as long as you don’t sweat a lot or use this headset in a hot room. While I generally abhor leatherette (made from the menacing Naugasaurus Rex), it was my preferred choice; it was more comfortable for longer play sessions and the sound it shaped was a little bit better than what the velour cups produced.

Sound Quality: To help break the headphones in, I left the headset on for a little more than two days playing a looped playlist. After the break-in period, I was able to get a better idea of the headset’s sound production. Mid-range tones are the strength of the HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset. The bass is good, but not overly emphasized (see Beats by Dre). The highs could have been better. Generally, I preferred the leatherette ear cups, as they helped produce a more detailed sound than what the velour cups offered.

For sound quality, it really depends on the application. Obviously this set is meant primarily for gamers, so in that respect I was happy with the output. This headset worked quite well with the various PC and console games I played. While it doesn’t give you as much separation as a 5.1 or 7.1 gaming headset, the HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset does a very good job with positional audio. I had no problems in shooters or stealth-action games with this unit. Directional sound was reasonably reproduced.

The headset works well for most movies too, though for action movies you’ll want to turn up the bass on the EQ. For music, I found the headset lacking, though this is a subjective area. I prefer a flat response for listening to music (see Etymotic) and wasn’t pleased by how the HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset performed. The lackluster highs were more obvious with music than other applications. EQ can help compensate, but it can be tricky to get great musical sound out of the HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset. This wasn’t a big deal to me, as it’s a gaming headset first and foremost.

Microphone: The mic quality is good, but shy of great. Most of the people I played online games with said that I sounded clear and the voice reproduction was solid. There were a few instances when my online gaming companions said that my voice had a little bit of echo or some tinniness, but those instances were infrequent and there were other variables that could have caused those problems.

For other reference points, I used the HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset for an hour of Skype calls. In these cases, the people I chatted with said that I sounded good. None of the friends I spoke with reported any echo or tinniness.

The microphone isn’t noise-canceling, so it will pick up some background noise in busy environments. Overall, the voice production of the HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset is very good. I wouldn’t use it to record a podcast or anything, but for the price range and what it’s meant for, this headset delivers.

Conclusion: The Kingston HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset offers a lot for a sub-$100 unit. I was impressed by the build quality and comfort. The sound quality was good for gaming, but not the best for music. The microphone was solid too. In this space, I’d also consider the Razer Kraken 7.1. It’s not as comfortable as the HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset, it’s made primarily from plastic, and the default balance is ridiculously bass heavy, but it offers better sound separation in the same price range. If sound separation isn’t a big priority for you then you’ll probably appreciate the aluminum construction, great comfort, and solid audio quality of the HyperX Cloud Gaming Headset.

Coffee Talk #622: Seeing Stupid Things While Gaming

As many of you are (or were) hardcore gamers, I’m certain that you’ve had gaming sessions that have left you so mentally drained that you start seeing silly things. This has happened to me a ton while playing Heroes of Dragon Age. I’ve been playing the hell out of the game since October, initially for work, eventually for fun, and currently out of habit. Over the last three months, I’ve spent dozens of hours farming the “Dalish Challenge” node in order to add Merrill to my party — she’s really difficult to obtain (without spending money) and crazy powerful. After thousands of attempts, I finally have Merrill. Along the way, my eyes played tricks on me and I saw some really stupid things…continued

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, the glorious return of Grantland’s Derek Jeter Diaries, dreaming about black rhodium plating, or Selena Gomez firing her mom/manager, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Tevinter Laetan Mage: This pesky character goes through a comical transformation after I’ve played too much Heroes of Dragon Age. For whatever reason, my brain transforms her name to Tevinter Lactating Mage…which causes me to giggle. In my head, instead of casting her annoying time-slowing spells, she douses her enemies with breast milk.

Guard Commander Aveline: One of Hawke’s most loyal and capable companions in Dragon Age II, this character has become funny to me through the power of auto-correct. In the Heroes of Dragon Age forums, a poster had the character’s name “corrected” to Guard Commander Vaseline. Now I can’t stop seeing that when I battle her in the game. Instead of an awesome tank character, I see a knight imbued with the power of petroleum jelly.

Bhelen Aeducan: Another character from Dragon Age II, he’s one of the default names for players that can’t be bothered to come up with their own. Thanks to Ali G, I see Bell End Aeducan. Booyakasha.

So yeah, those are some of the silly things I see while I’m playing Heroes of Dragon Age at 3:00AM. Considering that I’ve tackled the “Dalish Challenge” node thousands of times to get a single Merrill and it’ll take thousands of attempts to level her up to tier four, I expect to see these stupid things again in the future.

Now that this confessional post is out of the way, I wanted to see what stupid things you’ve seen after you’ve played a game way too much. Kindly share some stories in the comments section.