Adventures in Sex City Teaches Kids About STDs, Penis-Hands

I swear I’m not making this up — the Middlesex London Health Unit has released a game called Adventures in Sex City that teaches players about STDs. The villain has penis arms (and no, his name is not Edward Penishands). Here’s the scoop from GamePolitics:

Adventures in Sex City will have players assume the role of one of four characters — Captain Condom, Power Pap, Willy the Kid or Wonder Vag — as they take on penis-armed (literally) villain the Sperminator, who is hell-bent on spreading his brand of STD-infected love to everyone in town.

Wow. Uh…happy Valentine’s Day?

Source via GamePolitics

What Are You Playing This Weekend?

To be completely honest, I’m actually going to try and not play games this weekend. I want to finish up Bill Simmons’ The Book of Basketball: The NBA According to The Sports Guy on my freshly gifted Amazon Kindle! That said, I’ll probably sneak in some game time. I won’t play anything heavy though — maybe a little Civilization on my iPhone.

How about you ladies and gets? What’s on your weekend play list for Valentine’s weekend?

Coffee Talk #85: Your Favorite Videogame Valentine’s Couples

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, what Tiger is buying Elin for Valentine’s Day, your favorite American Idol hopeful, or Kevin Smith’s performance at MacWorld, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

With a lovey dovey holiday coming on Sunday, I thought it would be a great time to talk about your favorite romantic couples in gaming. Whether you like traditional romances, bisexual elf assassins, or the timeless tale of a paddle and ball, I want to know who your favorite videogame couple is and why.

As for me, I’m going with Zack Fair and Aerith Gainsborough from Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII. Their love was innocent and tragic. It also led to one of the most emotionally powerful game endings I’ve experienced in years. Here’s part of the ending (spoilers ahead, duh!):

*sniff* Excuse me…a gnat flew into my eye. I have to run off and take care of this gnat-eye problem. For now, tell me who your favorite videogame couple is. Name the couple, the game, and why you chose them (please)!

Dragon Age: Origins Awakening Character Reveal: Velanna

The next Dragon Age: Origins Awakening NPC revealed by BioWare is Velanna, an angry Dalish elf. She appears to dislike clothing and has the power to animate trees. Along with Anders, this makes two Awakening NPCs that focus on magic. I’m looking forward to learning more about this angry chick. I’m also pretty sure a bunch of you are wondering, “Yeah, but can I bang her?”

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Coffee Talk #84: Vote for the Superman 64 Award!!!

You asked for it and you’ve got it! Here are the nominees for the Superman 64 Awards for worst game of the decade!!! After sorting through your nominees, I’ve selected eight offenders for your voting pleasure. So make your pick and tell everyone why you selected the game you did (please)!

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames,whether you give a damn about the Winter Olympic Games, Degeneration X breaking up, or Spider-Man in 3D, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

You asked for it and you’ve got it! Here are the nominees for the Superman 64 Awards for worst game of the decade!!! After sorting through your initial picks, I’ve selected eight offenders for your voting pleasure. So make your choice and tell everyone why you selected the game you did (please)!

[poll id=”25″]

Coffee Talk #83: Originals That Are Better Than Their Sequels

“They don’t make ’em like they used to,” is a pretty common phrase. In gaming, that usually doesn’t apply. Better technology and smarter development almost always make current games superior to their predecessors. There are exceptions to the rule…though sometimes it’s simply a matter of taste.

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, poor Taylor Swift getting bashed for her singing skills, Ellen’s debut on American Idol, or robbing arcades with coffee mugs, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

“They don’t make ’em like they used to,” is a pretty common phrase. In gaming, that usually doesn’t apply. Better technology and smarter development almost always make current games superior to their predecessors. There are exceptions to the rule…though sometimes it’s simply a matter of taste.

To me, Super Mario Kart for SNES is the best game in the series. While I’ve enjoyed several of its sequels, none of them come close to the original, in my opinion. I will defend the game’s clever design and simple controls all day when someone tells me that the sequels had more complex tracks and more intricate controls. To me, Super Mario Kart was the most fun.

That said, I have to admit that nostalgia might have something to do with it too. I had a blast playing the game with my brother for hours and hours. Perhaps I’m fooling myself, but I believe that’s a minor part of it. I honestly believe that as technology improved and game design became more complex, the Mario Kart series became less fun.

Are there any games that make you feel the same way? Is there a series that became worse over time instead of better, in your opinion? Am I nuts about thinking Super Mario Kart is the best in the series? Leave a comment and let me know (please)!

Coffee Talk #82: What Game Would You Show Mom & Dad?

What game would you show your parents (or parent-like figures) to show off how far gaming has come? It’s easy for older people to dismiss games as “greasy kid stuff”, simply because they don’t know any better. A lot of parents haven’t seen incredible interactive adventures like Uncharted 2 or the thrilling action of Left 4 Dead 2. They don’t know how awesome games are, even compared to last generation.

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, “The Million-Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase finally being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, where Johnny Damon will end up, or the next great Android device, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

What game would you show your parents (or parent-like figures) to show off how far gaming has come? It’s easy for older people to dismiss games as “greasy kid stuff”, simply because they don’t know any better. A lot of parents haven’t seen incredible interactive adventures like Uncharted 2 or the thrilling action like Left 4 Dead 2. They simply don’t know how awesome games are, even compared to last generation.

I remember this one time (not at band camp) when my Dad visited me in San Francisco. We saw my uncle and his family in the East Bay and they had all sorts of questions about games. When they brought me home, I showed them a cutscene from Final Fantasy X and they were amazed by the graphics, music, and storytelling. I think they were expecting a modern-day Pac-Man and were blown away by the evolution of games.

Today (or later this month, really) I think I’d show them Heavy Rain. The graphics are incredible. The story, emotion, and music are easy to appreciate. Most importantly, the game is simple enough that they could actually play it. They wouldn’t have to worry about summoning, sphere grids, and potion management. They’d need a little help for sure, but they would easily get the idea.

What game would you show your parents to illustrate the awesomeness of gaming?

Square Enix Files Trademark for Deus Ex: Human Revolution

It looks like a proper Deux Ex sequel is on the way as Square Enix has filed trademarks for Deus Ex: Human Revolution in Europe and North America. Once one of the edgiest franchises in gaming, Eidos neglected the brand and let it fade into the background. Square Enix appears to have big plans for a Deus Ex revival. Hopefully it lives up to Warren Spector’s excellent vision.

While Deus Ex still means a lot to older gamers, there’s a new generation that has never heard of the series. Fallout 3 and Bioshock have shown that old brands can help sell to older players and great games will sell to everyone. Hopefully Deus Ex is treated similarly to those two games.

Are you guys and gals interested in a new Deus Ex game?

Source

Coffee Talk #81: Do Publishers Still Get Too Much Credit?

What other industries promote publishers over creators? Do you walk into a movie thinking, “Oh sweet! This is a Fox Searchlight film. They’re awesome!” Do you buy music thinking, “Oh man, I love Jive Records! This is going to be great stuff!” What I really want to know is…are you going to go my way? No wait, that’s not right. I meant, are publishers still getting too much credit these days?

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, the answer to the question, “Who dat?!?”, the hottie you want in a bath tub pitching the phone of your dreams, or how much bourbon Smartguy had last night, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

New Coffee: Stumptown Indonesia Gajah Aceh (Thanks for the great service Kate!)

One of my biggest pet peeves when I first got into this business (in the ’90s *gasp*) was that publishers got way more credit than developers. Things have certainly gotten better and more people are aware of the companies that actually make the games they play…but it’s still not where it should be. I don’t mean to piss on the hard work that publishers do, but it seems ridiculous to me that they get top billing and more credit than creators do.

For example, let’s say I search for Mass Effect 2 on Amazon and GameStop. The search results will show the game, what platforms it’s available for, and the publisher (Electronic Arts). The excellent developers at BioWare do not get credit that appears right away. A general customer that’s not familiar with developers will think, “I know these guys. They make Madden NFL Football and Tiger Woods PGA Tour.” It’s stupid and misleading and — most of all — disrespectful to BioWare.

Reading comments about Bethesda’s Rogue Warrior showed me that even enthusiast gamers don’t know the difference between publishers and developers. I’ve seen a lot of complaints on the game that were all, “I can’t believe Bethesda went from making Fallout 3 to this piece of crap!!!” The problem with statements like that is that Bethesda didn’t “make” the game. Rebellion did.

What other industries promote publishers over creators? Do you walk into a movie thinking, “Oh sweet! This is a Fox Searchlight film. They’re awesome!” Do you buy music thinking, “Oh man, I love Jive Records! This is going to be great stuff!” What I really want to know is…are you going to go my way? No wait, that’s not right. I meant, are publishers still getting too much credit these days?

PC and Mac Most Popular Game Development Platforms

Game Developer Research’s annual “State of Game Development Survey” revealed that the PC and Mac are the most popular game development platforms. Surprising, no? Actually, it’s not when you consider that social games (i.e. Facebook games) and browser games were lumped into the mix. As for consoles, the Xbox 360 still leads the way. Here’s a snippet from the press release:

Just over 70 percent of developers said they were developing at least one game for PC or Mac (including browser and social games), rising slightly from last year, with 41 percent working in consoles. Within that latter group, Xbox 360 was the most popular system with 69 percent of console developers targeting it, followed by 61 percent for PlayStation 3.

On the handheld front, developers are flocking to the iPhone and iPod Touch platform, leaving the Nintendo DS and Sony PlayStation Portable in the dust. It’s not surprising really. Facebook, browser, and iPhone games are cheaper to make than traditional console games. The market is relatively new and the players are still being established. There are more opportunities in these markets for new(er) developers and publishers.