It’s WrestleMania weekend! Sadly, I am not in the New York/New Jersey area attending the event and hanging out with friends, as I originally planned. However, that won’t stop me from enjoying the biggest pro-wrestling event of the year. Hopefully we’ll be chatting it up on the RPad.TV Google+ Messenger group as the show is happening. For now, let’s go through each match, sharing and comparing predictions. Here’s the lineup with some random thoughts on the matches and my predictions. Please share yours in the comments section!
Wade Barrett vs. The Miz: Here’s a match between two guys that went from ultra-hot to mostly forgettable. It wasn’t that long ago that The Miz was headlining PPVs and Barrett was part of the sizzling Nexus angle. The Miz is infinitely more marketable due to his reality TV background, but I’ve heard lots of stories about management being unhappy with his lack of in-ring improvement. Barrett has much more potential as a wrestler, but hasn’t shown the mic skills or media savvy that The Miz has.
Prediction: In what will probably be a forgettable match, I think I’ll go with Mike the Miz, simply because he has twice as many Twitter followers and I expect WWE to go with marketing over ability.
Tons of Funk and the Funkadactyls vs. The Rhodes Scholars and The Bella Twins: This is the jamming-as-many-people-into-the-ring-to-get-them-on-WrestleMania match. It’s a shame, because I think these guys deserve better. While a lot of smarks are tired of Brodus Clay’s act, I still dig it and am amazed by the mileage he’s gotten out of it. Damien Sandow should get an award for Most Improved WWE Superstar; does anyone else remember his inept run as Idol Stevens? If Sandow continues to progress, the jump from Idol Stevens to Damien Sandow could rival the jump from The Ringmaster to “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. As for Cody Rhodes, his daddy was one of my favorites growing up and I’ll always be rooting for him.
Prediction: If this match is second, then The Rhodes Scholars and Bella Twins win. If it’s moved to the opening match then the Funky Bunch will win, simply to warm up the crowd with some goofy dancing.
Chris Jericho vs. Fandango: Jericho’s current run has been curious. He’s had some wonderful matches, but his angles haven’t been all that memorable. As one of the Teflon guys in WWE (losses don’t stick to him), he can usually be counted on to do the job in order to elevate younger talent. However, Fandango has been making him look silly for the last few weeks and Y2J is due for some revenge. Also, the Fandango character is stupid and should be buried soon. Johnny Curtis is going nowhere with this character.
Prediction: Chris Jericho wins and hopefully moves onto some main event work before departing on the next Fozzy tour.
Ryback vs. Mark Henry: Speaking of Teflon guys, Henry has surprisingly attained that status. Before his last major injury, The World’s Strongest Man put together the best run of his career and cemented himself as monster. Ryback has been one of the hottest characters in the WWE for the last, despite his limited ability.
Prediction: It kind of bugs me that Ryback’s rise will continue, but the crowd loves him and the WWE writers are listening. Big man matches are often duds, so I don’t expect a great one here, but I do expect a hot crowd after the Ryback win.
Randy Orton, Sheamus, and The Big Show vs. The Shield: This is another throw-them-all-together match. The faces are established main event guys and a victory here does nothing for any of them. The Shield need the rub and hopefully one of its members has a breakout moment.
Prediction: The Big Show squabbles with his teammates, leading to a victory by The Shield.
Daniel Bryan and Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston: This match irks me. In my mind, Team Hell No should have been finished months ago. Of course I’m saying this as a Bryan Danielson mark that believes The American Dragon should be competing for one of the major titles. Ziggler should also be competing for one of the majors and, objectively, is in the better position to do so. While Langston would benefit from winning the tag team straps, it would only slow Ziggler down.
Prediction: Team Hell No wins, tragically relegating Danielson to mid-card status for several more months.
Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar: This match has the potential to steal the show. Lesnar’s ability is ridiculous and Hunter always saves his best stuff for WrestleMania. The no-holds-barred and retirement angles add some sizzle to this rematch. As an HBK fan, I’m excited to see how he gets involved. The reality is that both guys are part-timers these days, but Hunter has lots of office duties at WWE HQ in Stamford.
Prediction: At this stage of his career, I expect Triple H to do the job in that selfishly unselfish way (Kobe Bryant TM). Lesnar looks like a beast and is available for all kinds of opportunities (part time, of course), while Hunter goes back to the office.
The Undertaker vs. CM Punk: Was anyone offended by Punk throwing Paul Bearer’s (angle) ashes on ‘Taker? It’s been a long time since WWE programming has shown anything that questionable. Whether you were offended or not, the move reeked of desperation. Few people think that Punk has a chance at beating the Dead Man (who isn’t actually dead, as Chris Jericho once pointed out), so it looks like the WWE writers have resorted to shock tactics to keep people interested in this match. It’s working for some people (those that want to see ‘Taker crucify Punk), while others see this as an automatic notch on The Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak.
Prediction: It would be awesome for Punk to be “the guy” that ended The Streak and his longtime fans believe he deserves it. It would put him over for the rest of his career. However, I think it would be a mistake to tarnish ‘Taker’s perfect WrestleMania record, especially if it’s because his character is so angry that he gets himself disqualified. I expect The Undertaker goes over with a clean win, but I would be pleasantly surprised by Punk getting put over in one of the biggest ways possible.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger: This is a pick ’em match for me. I really don’t enjoy Del Rio as a face; it seems forced and disingenuous to me (similar to face Randy Orton). In a perfect world, he loses the strap to Swagger so that he can go back to being an awesome heel. Swagger would then serve as a transitional champion that would make way for Ziggler, Danielson, etc. However, you don’t crown transitional champions at WrestleMania and I don’t think that Swagger’s current character is worthy of main events.
Prediction: Del Rio wins and moves onto…you know, I’m not really sure where he goes from here. Swagger loses and moves onto picking on other minority wrestlers.
The Rock vs. John Cena: In my head, this was the easiest match to pick on paper, but the toughest in terms of sending the crowd home happy. It just makes sense for The Rock to lose the belt and set up a rubber match at next year’s WrestleMania. The Rock will go back to making movies before another part-time run and Cena will serve as the full-time WWE Champion. The kicker is the whole “sending ’em home happy” thing. Under normal circumstances, half the crowd hates Cena. While the WrestleMania 29 audience will be much broader than the typical NY/NJ show, I still expect more than half the crowd to hate Cena. Can you really end the show with him winning?
Prediction: John Cena wins and at least 60 percent of the live audience will hate it.
