Coffee Talk #248: Drinking and (Videogame) Driving

Drinking and driving is irresponsible. It’s stupid and dangerous. It can lead to senseless tragedies. With that in mind, I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I enjoy drinking and videogame driving.

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, the RPad.tv merchandise sale, the SSD hard drive of your dreams, or getting sick before a launch event (grrrrrr), Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Drinking and driving is irresponsible. It’s stupid and dangerous. It can lead to senseless tragedies. With that in mind, I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I enjoy drinking and videogame driving. I’ve had some epic Mario Kart sessions with friends and the experience was enhanced by alcohol consumption. Part of it was the social lubrication alcohol often brings, but part of it was the sensation of trying to control something while I wasn’t in control of myself.

Tonight I’ll be attending a launch party for Need for Speed Hot Pursuit. The game will be there. I’m sure there will be plenty of alcohol there too. I’m actually looking forward to playing the game with my industry friends…while drunk.

Do any of you guys and gals play driving games while drunk? Or am I alone in this idiocy?

Coffee Talk #247: Worst Videogame Commercials Ever!

Last week, we discussed our favorite videogame commercials. Let’s enter the bitter barn and talk about the worst videogame commercials we’ve ever seen! As for me, that’s easy. Look at this…

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, the RPad.tv merchandise sale, Stumptown’s Kenya Gachami Peaberry, or Jessica Simpson getting engaged, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Last week, we discussed our favorite videogame commercials. Let’s enter the bitter barn and talk about the worst videogame commercials we’ve ever seen! As for me, that’s easy. Just look at this piece of crap.

This Final Fantasy Tactics Advance commercial is wretched any way you slice it. The acting is horrible. The concept is horrible. The commercial does nothing to convey the depth and complexity of the game. It just…sucks on so many levels. What makes it worse is that the spot is for a fantastic game. Ugh. I’m getting worked up just thinking about it.

Why don’t you guys take over from here? What are some of the worst videogame commercials you’ve ever seen?

Coffee Talk #246: What’s Your Favorite Videogame Commercial?

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, the Amazon “Pedophile Guide” controversy, Lacey Von Eric realizing that she can’t wrestle, or Yao Ming getting injured…again, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Videogames have had some brilliant and memorable commercials over the years. While marketing has been getting slicker and smarter, some classic commercials can’t be beat. My favorite videogame commercial of all time is the “Genesis Does!” spot. The song is catchy, the point is clear, and the cameos are awesome. It features Michael Jackson, Joe Montana, Pat Riley, and (an incredibly out-of-shape) James “Buster” Douglas. Check it out:

Man…that brings back some great memories.

Now it’s your turn! What are some of your favorite videogame commercials?

Coffee Talk #245: Game Review Events Revisited

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, NFL players not liking their boss (*cough* Brad Childress), Gwyneth Paltrow going country, or Sarah Palin’s cookie loving, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Way back in Coffee Talk #4 I wrote about my peeves with the incredibly unnatural process of reviewing games. In addition to the cram-a-thon sessions most game reviewers have to engage in, the occasional “review event” pops up every now and then. I was having a Twitter conversation with two game journalists at Games Radar about the matter. The “payola” factor of review events doesn’t bother me, since most writers can see past that (and in many cases, care more about playings games than enjoying luxurious surroundings). My problem with review events is that it affects the process. I am of the opinion that adding foreign surroundings to an already unnatural process alters perception.

The example that a lot of people are bringing up is GamePro’s Tae Kim’s review of the Call of Duty: Black Ops. Check out his opening paragraph:

The Ojai Valley Inn and Spa sits in the tiny town of Ojai about two hours north of downtown Los Angeles. Built in 1923, it features a full 18-hole golf course, a luxury spa, and 308 deluxe suites situated on a 200 acre plot with picaresque views of the surrounding forest and mountains. It’s hard to top in terms of amenities and creature comforts, and it seemingly offers everything you could ever want in a vacation spot. It’s utterly fitting, then, that this is where Activision chose to hold its review event for Call of Duty: Black Ops; the lavish surroundings were no doubt meant to lend a measure of sex appeal and ‘wow factor’ to the proceedings, but it was also a good metaphor for Black Ops: The game is a veritable playground that, like the plush resort where I and a handful of game journos from various outlets were sequestered for three days, seems to offer everything you could ever want in a console first-person shooter.

Forget the fact that I learned more about the Ojai Valley Inn than Call of Duty: Black Ops from the opening paragraph. Taking a gamer out of his/her natural environment alters perception, whether game journalists want to admit it or not. Playing games in your living room is natural. For staffers at gaming outlets, playing games at a desk or in a game lab is natural. Foreign environments — no matter how luxurious — change perception. Similar to how setting often changes the experience of listening to music, sipping wine, or enjoying coffee, setting changes the experience of playing a videogame.

Anyway, that’s my annual rant on review events. What do you think of them? Does it bother your that game writers are sequestered at luxury spas? Does it bother you that they have to review a game in a short period of time in a foreign environment? Or do you think that it’s not a big deal?

Coffee Talk #244: Memorable Videogame Bugs and Glitches

Last week a few of you started talking about videogame bugs and glitches and I thought to myself, “Self, this would make a fantastic Coffee Talk topic!” So here it is! Whether they were bugs that completely ruined your game’s progress or glitches that…

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, your thoughts on Conan’s new show, President Obama getting grilled at the G20 meetings, or Derek Jeter’s undeserved Gold Glove, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Last week a few of you started talking about videogame bugs and glitches and I thought to myself, “Self, this would make a fantastic Coffee Talk topic!” So here it is! Whether they were bugs that completely ruined your game’s progress or glitches that you exploited to get an edge, I’m sure y’all have some great stories to share.

As for me, I’m going to have go old school, since I don’t really think about bugs or glitches as a pure gamer anymore. Obviously I loved getting extra lives in Contra using the most popular startup code in the universe, but I’m going to give Super Mario Bros. World 3-1 my vote. I remember playing the game with my friend Alex and laughing at how long it took him to master the infinite lives glitch. That little glitch led to hundreds of hours of gameplay and friendship in my parents’ basement. Good times.

Now it’s your turn! What are some videogame bugs and glitches that have been seared into your memory?

Coffee Talk #243: How Much Mobile Data Do You Use?

With the days of truly unlimited mobile data coming to a close, I’ve been curious about my mobile Internet consumption. My last billing cycle ended yesterday and I was pleased that I only used…

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, your favorite Indian dish, the hottest chick on Baywatch, or the horrible TNA belt Jeff Hardy ordered up, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

With the days of truly unlimited mobile data coming to a close, I’ve been curious about my mobile Internet consumption. My last billing cycle ended yesterday and I was pleased that I only used 600MB of data in the last month. However, I was almost always on WiFi. If I’m traveling or working at an office that doesn’t grant WiFi access to contractors then I can see my data consumption going way higher.

With unlimited data nearing extinction, I’m going to keep tabs on my mobile data use. Do you ladies and gents already do that? Is it something you’re going to do? How much data do you use per month? Kindly take the poll, discuss, and be merry!

[poll id=”84″]

Coffee Talk #242: China, Neodymium, and You

For gaming and gadget nerds, neodymium is a part of everyday life. It’s found in consoles, speakers, headphones, hard drives, and more. This rare earth metal is…

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, the bullsh*t election in Burma (Myanmar), Keith Olbermann’s two-day suspension, or Mickie James in chaps, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

For gaming and gadget nerds, neodymium is a part of everyday life. It’s found in consoles, speakers, headphones, hard drives, and more. This rare earth metal is an integral ingredient in countless consumer electronics devices. Where does most of the world’s neodymium come from? China.

As technology continues to become truly global, neodymium becomes increasingly valuable. China knows this and has engaged in some questionable practices when it comes to trading neodymium. You all know that oil-rich countries have a ton of stroke. Will China become even more powerful than it already is due to the burgeoning growth of consumer electronics and the fact that it’s the world’s leading produce of neodymium? Imagine if China’s continued squabble with Japan lead to dialog like, “You know what? Screw you and your PlayStations and Game Boys. We’re not selling you any more neodymium! And also, your mother dresses you funny.”

Did you ever think that the hard drive in your console, the pickups on your Les Paul, or the speakers in your entertainment center would be part of a global power struggle? Pretty crazy, hey?

Coffee Talk #241: Are You a Sore (Gaming) Loser?

I was a sore loser before I hit my late 20s. I remember chucking a Fairchild Channel F controller at my friend Russel’s face, simply because I lost a close game. I gave him a bloody nose. In high school…

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, the Sowden Oskar SoftBrew, whether the United States congress will accomplish anything over the next two years, or Lita possibly returning to WWE for a limited run, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

I was a sore loser before I hit my late 20s. I remember chucking a Fairchild Channel F controller at my friend Russel’s face, simply because I lost a close game. I gave him a bloody nose. In high school, I was playing doubles tennis with my friend Jay. He was having a crappy day and made several unforced errors in a row. I got frustrated and hit a tennis ball at his…uh…balls.

I’ve mostly grown out of this behavior, but there are things that make me revert to being a sore loser…and even a sore winner. My biggest pet peeve in gaming is when people quit early in online multiplayer games. It truly pisses me off. This has been happening to me in Wordfeud for Android lately. Over the last three days, four people quit early on me because they were losing. It prompted me send messages like, “Pussy!” and…well, other not so nice things. It’s a little embarrassing, but I detest online quitters.

Is there anything in gaming that makes you a sore loser or a sore winner? Let’s do the group therapy thing and discuss our issues!

Coffee Talk #240: Thank God for Zackery Morazzini

After reading the transcript of the Schwarzengger vs. the EMA Supreme Court case, I believe that gamers across the nation should be immensely thankful for the ineptitude of California deputy attorney general Zackery P. Morazzini

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, your Derek Jeter contract estimate (years and dollars, please), Stumptown’s Guatemala Finca El Injerto Pacamara Varietal, or Demi Lovato hitting the triumvirate of hotness (cute, rich, and vulnerable), Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

After reading the transcript of the Schwarzengger vs. the Entertainment Merchants Association Supreme Court case, I believe that gamers across the nation should be immensely thankful for the ineptitude of California deputy attorney general Zackery P. Morazzini. For the most part, he came across as an ineffectual litigator that got his JD from Legal Hut. For the most part, the Justices made him look silly. Here are some of my favorite quotes.

Justice Ginsburg: What’s the difference? I mean, if you are supposing a category of violent materials dangerous to children, then how do you cut it off at video games? What about films? What about comic books? Grimm’s fairy tales?

Why are video games special? Or does your principle extend to all deviant, violent material in whatever form?

Justice Sotomayor: One of the studies, the Anderson study, says that the effect of violence is the same for a Bugs Bunny episode as it is for a violent video. So can the legislature now, because it has that study, say we can outlaw Bugs Bunny?

There are people who would say that a cartoon has very little social value; it’s entertainment, but not much else. This is entertainment.

Justice Sotomayor: Could you get rid of rap music? Have you heard some of the lyrics of some of the rap music, some of the original violent songs that have been sung about killing people and about other violence directed to them?

Justice Scalia: I’m not concerned about the jury judging. I’m concerned about the producer of the games who has to know what he has to do in order to comply with the law. And you are telling me, well a jury can — of course a jury can make up its mind, I’m sure. But a law that has criminal penalties has to be clear. And how is the manufacturer to know whether a particular violent game is covered or not?

Does he convene his own jury and try it before — you know, I really wouldn’t know what to do as a manufacturer.

pwned.

Check out the transcript (posted below) if you have a chance. It’s hard to say for sure without hearing how the lines were delivered, but from reading it, Morazzini is surely the Glass Joe of the California Attorney General’s office. I encourage all of you to drop Zackery P. Morazzini a line to thank him for sucking.

Schwarzenegger v. EMA

Coffee Talk #239: DirecTV Customers Should Rage Over G4tv

Warning: this Coffee Talk will be longer and a bit more personal than usual. As some of you know, DirecTV has dropped G4 from its lineup. Some of you are thinking that the news has me happy, but that’s not the case at all. Even though the company treated me poorly…

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, Tim Lincecum making Filipino-Americans proud, the chances of Cliff Lee returning to the Rangers, or hiring Randy Moss for your kid’s birthday party, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Warning: this Coffee Talk will be longer and a bit more personal than usual. As some of you know, DirecTV has dropped G4 from its lineup. Some of you are thinking that the news has me happy, but that’s not the case at all. Even though the company treated me poorly, cost me some friends, and cost me lots of money, I still believe in what G4tv could be…but I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s take a step back and look at DirecTV’s official word as reported by Entertainment Weekly:

At this time we are no longer negotiating and we have no plans to put G4 back up. We are constantly evaluating our lineup in a new world where programming costs continue to rise at significant rates. Since G4 is among the lowest rated networks based on the latest Nielsen data, we decided that it made sense to focus on preserving programming that is more relevant to our larger customer base.

Personally I think it’s just silly posturing. Even though G4 gets a lot of flack — deservedly so — for being more about Cops reruns than videogames these days, the network has a loyal following. I’ve been a huge fan of G4 since it started. I’ve been one of the networks staunchest defenders — years before I worked there. In September 2003 I wrote a column to try to get people in the GameSpy forums to stop hating on G4 and to support it for what it could be. Here’s a clip:

Although G4 gives all of us a new way to enjoy our favorite hobby, my favorite thing about it is that it will bring new people into the fold. Television reaches a more general audience and I’m sure there will be some people watching G4 that are only vaguely familiar with the wacky world of gaming. They’ll start out on G4. Perhaps they’ll get so into gaming that they’ll go to GameSpy to get even more. And just maybe, in a year or two they’ll be trading jabs with all y’all in the Forums. So don’t be hatin’ on G4, it’s one of the reasons gaming is getting bigger than ever… and with any luck it just might spawn your favorite Forum poster a few years down the line.

I still believe in many of the things I wrote in that column. I suppose I wanted to use today’s Coffee Talk to make sure you knew two things. First, I still believe in G4, despite the crappy way I was treated. Secondly, if you’re a DirecTV subscriber I suggest you go full-on (phone, email, snail mail) and tell the company that you want G4 as part of your lineup.

And yes, this was all kind of difficult to write because there are so many other things that I want to say. Thanks for listening!