Superman/Shazam: The Return of Black Adam Disappoints

After the outstanding Batman: Under the Red Hood and the good Superman/Batman: Apocalypse, I was really looking forward to Superman/Shazam: The Return of Black Adam. One of the most intriguing and complex anti-heroes in the DC Universe, Black Adam is one of my favorite characters. Unfortunately, this animated feature didn’t convey what makes Black Adam so interesting.

But first, let’s cover some positive features of The Return of Black Adam. For the most part, I loved the art. It’s very clean, bright, and cheery, which fits in with the nature of Captain Marvel (yes, his name is Captain Marvel, not Shazam). The characterization of Billy Batson/Captain Marvel is well done. You really get a feel for his purity and innocence. The voice acting is great all around, which is par for the course with DC animated features. That’s pretty much it for the positives.

One problem I had with the art was the fight scenes. Superman, Captain Marvel, and Black Adam are three of the most powerful characters in DC Comics. Every time one of them throws a punch, windows should shatter and tidal waves should form in the ocean. The final fight scene between Neo and Agent Smith in The Matrix Revolutions is what a battle involving these three characters should be like. Instead, it was kind of like pro-wrestling with high-wire flying. The artists and animators did not illustrate the awesome power these three characters wield.

My minor gripe with Black Adam’s portrayal was his accent. He sounded Eastern European. In the comic books he hails from the fictional North African country of Kahndaq, which is supposed to be between Egypt and Israel. I’ve met people from Egypt and Israel. None of them sounded like Russian spies, which is that the Black Adam in this feature sounded like.

My major problem with Black Adam’s portrayal was its simplification. In the comics, he has been a villain and a hero. He has been in the Injustice Society and the Justice Society. He’s a beloved god-king in Kahndaq, but viewed as a severe threat to global stability by most other nations. He has a code of honor. He has suffered tragedies that have given him a harsh view of justice. He’s not really a bad guy or a good guy, but he’s done heroic and heinous things. In The Return of Black Adam, he’s just an evil dick. He was appointed Earth’s protector by the wizard Shazam and was corrupted by power — no complexity, no layers, and no depth. It’s so sad that Black Adam is nothing more than an evil dick in this movie.

I was disappointed immediately after watching Superman/Shazam: The Return of Black Adam. After an hour or so passed, I kept thinking about one of Billy Bob Thornton’s lines in Bad Santa: “They can’t all be winners, kid.” After so many excellent and very good DC animated features, I suppose it was time for a dud. I just wish it didn’t involve one of my favorite characters in the DC Universe.

Emma Stone Playing Gwen Stacy, Not Mary Jane Watson

The sexy Emma Stone was rumored to be playing Mary Jane Watson in the upcoming Spider-Man reboot. It turns out that she’s slated to play Gwen Stacy, previously portrayed by Opie’s hot daughter Bryce Dallas Howard. According to E!:

After some initial confusion, it was revealed that Emma Stone would not be playing the beloved leading lady. Instead, she’d be playing Gwen Stacy.

I always liked Gwen better anyway. Hmmm, I wonder what Emma Stone would look like with long, luxurious blonde hair….

Update: Check out Emma’s Gwen Stacy hairstyle!

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(Not a) Review of Superman/Batman: Apocalypse

Thanks to RPadholic Tokz_21, I finally got around to watching Superman/Batman: Apocalypse. Following up the excellent Superman/Batman: Public Enemies, the latest DC Comics animated movie dazzled me. As a fan of Jeph Loeb’s work on the Superman/Batman comics (not to mention a fan of hot blonde Kryptonian girls), I knew I’d enjoy this movie, but I was surprised that it exceeded my expectations. Superman/Batman: Apocalypse has it all — great story, beautiful art, and visceral action. Here are some random thoughts on the movie.

Here’s a spoiler-free summary before I really get into things. Superman/Batman: Apocalypse is about a naked hot female Kryptonian girl that crash lands in Gotham Bay. After injuring some civilians and damaging public property, Batman decides that he doesn’t trust the girl. After meeting Superman, the girl claims to be his cousin — Kara Zor-El. Things get wacky from there and all kinds of different locations are visited before epic fights with epic villains ensue. Now let’s get to the spoiler-riddled part of the review!

I was absolutely floored by the movie’s art, which surprised me because I’m more into plot and dialog when it comes to comics. DC has usually done a great job with its animated movies, but Superman/Batman: Apocalypse takes it to another level. The artists and animators did a masterful job contrasting the movie’s various locations. Dark areas like Gotham and Apokolips played off light locations such as Metropolis, Paradise Island, and The Fortress of Solitude. The artists also got to draw traditional superhero costumes (Supes, Bats, Wonder Woman, etc.) and funkier Jack Kirby Fourth World characters like Big Barda, Granny Goodness, and Mad Harriet. The variety and quality of the art is outstanding.

As for the story, it’s mostly good. It’s based off of the excellent “The Supergirl From Krypton” storyline by Jeph Loeb. While it’s not as good as the fantastic Batman: Under the Red Hood, I enjoyed it a great deal. Part of it is because I enjoy how DC’s “big three” — Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman — play off of each other. Part of it is because I love Kirby’s Fourth World stuff. I was psyched to watch a movie with Darkseid, Big Barda, Granny Goodness, and The Female Furies. I marked out when Barda opened a closet and Mister Miracle’s costume was there. I loved the plot in the comics and liked the movie adaptation. That said, the storytelling has its flaws.

One reason the Superman/Batman comics work so well is its use of inner monologue. In the books, the thought bubbles are often more important than the spoken words. Reading what Superman and Batman actually think of each other is a different and highly entertaining. All of this is lost in the movie, which is understandable. The pacing would be dreadful if one-third of the movie consisted of characters thinking. However, a vital element of the comics was lost in translation.

The voice acting has a weak spot that can be jarring. Kevin Conroy and Tim Daly are excellent as Batman and Superman, respectively, but they’re always awesome. Andre Braugher, Susan Eisenberg, and Julianne Grossman put in strong performance as Darkseid, Wonder Woman, and Big Barda. The weak link is Summer Glau, who plays Kara/Supergirl…rather poorly. She’s the movie’s central figure. Everything revolves around her. When you have a bunch of strong voice actors playing off of a weak one, it drags the whole performance down.

There was one scene that I absolutely loved in the comics and completely worked in animated form. I marked out when Batman played Darkseid into surrendering. It’s such a cool moment — the human outsmarting the god. Andre Braugher’s concession speech is delivered perfectly.

At the end of the day, I really enjoyed Superman/Batman Apocalypse, but I don’t think that most people would enjoy as much as I did. The Fourth World characters were a big reason this movie was so much fun for me. Most people probably don’t give a damn about Stompa or Lashina and couldn’t point you to Armagetto or Necropolis on a map of Apokolips. Casual fans would prefer Superman/Batman: Public Enemies or Batman: Under the Red Hood. I’m hoping that some of you will give this movie a shot. The art is so good, the action is fantastic, and the story is enjoyable. Plus, Big Barda and Supergirl are total hotties.

DC Universe Online Trailer Makes Me Go Fanboy

It’s a bummer that DC Universe Online has been delayed until 2011, but this trailer should make you feel a wee bit better about things. It’s fast, slick, and full of awesome DCU heroes. Check it out and let me know what you think (please). Super Buddies unite!!!

Zack Snyder to Direct Superman Reboot, General Zod Rumored

The Superman reboot already got my attention with Natalie Portman being rumored to play Lois Lane, but the news of Zack Snyder (300, Watchmen) directing the film and (especially) the movie including General Zod really has me psyched. Here’s the latest from Heat Vision Blog:

Zack Snyder has been chosen to direct the new Superman movie, which Christopher Nolan is producing for Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures. Negotiations began earlier today.

Nolan, who revived Batman, teamed up with David Goyer for a new a way to revive the last son of Krypton. Despite grossing $200 million domestically, the last movie, 2006’s Superman Returns, was considered a disappointment and a hoped-for franchise launch never flew off.

Goyer is writing the script, which is rumoured to have, like Superman Returns, a Richard Donner Superman connection. In the movie’s case, it’s a villain connection: General Zod.

“Come Son of Jor-El! Kneel before Zod!!!” Whether it’s Terence Stamp’s excellent portrayal in Superman II or the Zod in the comic books, I love this character. I hope the rumor pans out. As for Snyder, I have mixed feelings on him. I thought that 300 was a fun and dumb movie. I’m a huge Watchmen fan and while I imagine making a movie based on one of the most complex graphics novels in history is a supreme challenge, I thought that his Watchmen movie was only half good.

What are you thoughts on Snyder directing the film and the possible inclusion of Zod?

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Today’s Poll: Emma Stone’s MJ vs. Natalie Portman’s Lois

It’s the battle of the superhero-love-interest hotties! In the red corner is Natalie Portman. A Harvard graduate that’s best known (by geeks) from the Star Wars movies, Portman is rumored to be playing Lois Lane in the Superman reboot. In the blue corner is Emma Stone, who made millions of moviegoers crack up in Superbad and The House Bunny. The word on the street is that Stone has been offered the Mary Jane Watson role in the Spider-Man reboot.

Who will be the better love interest?!? Vote and discuss (please)!!!

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Emma Stone Offered Mary Jane Watson Role in Spider-Man Movie

According to Deadline, Emma Stone is Sony’s choice to play Spider-Man’s love interest, Mary Jane Watson. I love this girl. She’s spunky, cute, and funny. One of my friends thinks I’m nuts on this, but I think her voice is totally sexy.

Superhero movies are getting some total hotties! First Natalie Portman as Lois Lane opposite Superman and now this! Hmmm, methinks I should have a poll. In the meantime, let me know what you think of Stone as MJ.

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Wonder Woman Lassoing Her Way to Television

Wonder Woman is heading to television sets around the world thanks to Ally McBeal’s David E. Kelley. Yeah, the most majestic heroine in DC Comics is getting a television show by the guy that used to make a show about some anorexic, goofy-ass lawyer. Here’s the word from E!:

Wonder Woman is back in the news, and this time she’s getting — the Ally McBeal treatment?! Ally creator David E. Kelley is the latest Hollywood bigwig to take a stab at resurrecting the Wonder Woman franchise. But unlike those who’ve ventured into the abyss before him (we’re looking at you, Joss Whedon), Kelley has secured a deal with Warner Bros. to bring the princess to the small screen.

I realize that some people still think of Wonder Woman as Lynda Carter or that chick in Super Friends that did nothing but fly around with Aquaman in an invisible jet, but I appreciate her role as one of the three pillars of the DC Universe. I love the “preach peace, practice violence” contradiction of her character. I think it’s great that the entire DCU has a crush on her, but she’s also matronly, an ambassador, a diplomat, and warrior. I haven’t watched Kelley’s other shows, but I’m absolutely terrified of him making a Wonder Woman show.

What do you think of this news? Do you have any casting ideas for Wonder Woman?

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Natalie Portman to Play Lois Lane in Superman Reboot?

Here’s a hot rumor that I’m absolutely loving: Natalie Portman is in talks to play Lois Lane in the Superman reboot being produced by Christopher Nolan. The other rumor — which is also very cool, but not nearly as sexy — is that Darren Aronofsky will be directing the film. Here’s a clip from Hollywood.com:

Natalie Portman might venture back into the world of superheroes, but this time — not behind a masked vigilante. The actress is rumored to be the next Lois Lane in the upcoming Christopher Nolan-produced Superman reboot. Whoa! This follows more rumors that Darren Aronofsky will be directing. Double whoa!

While some people slam Portman’s acting ability, she’ll certainly be better than that chick from Blue Crush, right? And yes, this article was a great excuse to post a sexy Natalie Portman picture.

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Coffee Talk #212: WWE NXT’s AJ Lee is My Ultimate Woman

Thanks to WWE NXT, I have found my new “ultimate woman” for the next decade — AJ Lee. She’s obviously a beautiful woman that wrestles, but I’ve learned that she loves comic books and videogames. I don’t see how you can beat this combination. She could beat the crap out of baby seals with a baseball bat she made from a tree plucked from a rain forest she decimated and I’d still adore her. She seems to be the perfect combination of beauty, brains, athleticism, and nerdcore.

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, NFL week one, your favorite MTV VMA 2010 moments, or the big HTC/Nokia events this week, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Thanks to WWE NXT, I have found my new “ultimate woman” for the next decade — AJ Lee. She’s obviously a beautiful woman that wrestles, but I’ve learned that she loves comic books and videogames. I don’t see how you can beat this combination. She could beat the crap out of baby seals with a baseball bat she made from a tree plucked from a rain forest she decimated and I’d still adore her. She seems to be the perfect combination of beauty, brains, athleticism, and nerdcore.

In case you were wondering (and even if you weren’t), Zoe Flower, my dearest BB, was my ultimate woman last decade. Now she’s an ultimate mommy. Given her new stage in life and the new decade, it seemed like the perfect time to find a new ultimate woman. May the reign of AJ Lee be a tremendous one!

Naturally, I want to know what you think of AJ. Do you have an ultimate woman? Is there anyone you can think of that can match AJ’s blend of beauty and geekiness?