Time Warner Cable (Finally) Signs On For HBO Go

In a move that I’m going to file under “It’s About Frickin’ Time You Hacks!”, Time Warner Cable has signed a deal with HBO for the HBO Go and Max Go streaming services. I’ve been extremely envious of my friends that have been able to enjoy the extensive library and advanced programming on HBO Go. Unfortunately, Time Warner Cable took its sweet-ass time to give its customers progressive features. I write this as I stare at my antiquated TWC cable box with its caveman UI. Before I start getting angry at TWC (again), here’s a clip from the press release:

Time Warner Cable today announced the upcoming launch of HBO’s authenticated online video destinations, HBO Go and Max Go. The companies will run a brief beta trial and then the service is expected to launch to all Time Warner Cable customers who subscribe to HBO in the next month. Time Warner Cable customers who subscribe to HBO and/or Cinemax will have free, unlimited access to the corresponding online services at any time, on any computer in the U.S. with a high-speed Internet connection, as well as a host of other devices, including the iPad.

This would have been 50 times more useful to me when Game of Thrones and Entourage were still on. Hopefully the service will continue to offer advanced episodes in 2012. I’m genuinely excited for the service and will definitely use the hell out of it when it goes live. That said, if my next apartment offers AT&T U-Verse or Verizon Fios, I’ll drop Time Warner Cable’s sorry-ass service — easily the worst I’ve ever had — in a second.

Meh. Let’s close this on a happy note. HBO Go is finally coming to Time Warner Cable subscribers!!!

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Binary Thoughts on the GI Joe 2 Retaliation Trailer

Congrats to my pals at Machinima for nabbing the exclusive premiere trailer for GI Joe 2: Retaliation. After watching the trailer, I’m actually kind of psyched for it. Aside from a few slick action scenes featuring Snake Eyes, GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra was horrible. As a GI Joe mark, I wanted the first one to be great, but it ended up being one of the most disappointing movies I’ve ever seen (Green Lantern currently holds the top spot). Here’s a binary breakdown of my thoughts on GI Joe Retaliation.

Good: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as Roadblock immediately grabbed my attention. He is, after all, the most electrifying man in all of entertainment. This role takes advantage of his action skills and receding hairline! Seriously though, I’m all about supporting The Rock’s movie career. I’ve seen all of his flicks except Tooth Fairy. I’m confident that he’ll do well in this movie.

Bad: I’m concerned about director Jon M. Chu, simply because the last movie he directed was — get this — Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. How the hell to you go from Bieber to GI Joe?!?

Good: You know, I’m not much of a Bruce Willis fan, but I love him as Joe Colton — the original GI Joe. That’s just great casting. It’s an ideal role for him at his age. His cholesterol line in the trailer killed me. Fair play to Bruce!

Bad: Although it looks like he’s taking a backseat to The Rock, Channing Tatum still has a big role as Duke. I can’t stand that guy. If John Cena had a little bitch brother, it would be Channing Tatum. I know he’s handsome and the girls love him, but his bad acting lacks the unintentional comedy of Paul Walker’s dazzling performances. Maybe we’ll all get lucky and he’ll die in this film.

Bad: The movie looks like it has campy moments that are more stupid than funny. In the first movie, the scene with the accelerator suit gave me a migraine. “What does it accelerate???” *dramatic pause* “You.” Ugh. The trailer for Retaliation already has one of those moments. Cobra takes over the White House…and promptly installs curtains. That’s so evil stupid, but it’s good to know that international terrorist organizations higher evil decorators.

Good: I’m looking forward to more Ray Park (Snake Eyes) action scenes. He’s a fantastic talent. I’ve been digging his work since Mortal Kombat: Annihilation and was thrilled that millions of people loved him as Darth Maul. He’s arguably the most prominent Westerner in telegenic martial arts (though I wish he’d fully exploit his Scottish heritage and say all his lines like Scrooge McDuck). I really hope he gets that Iron Fist movie he’s wanted for years before he gets too old.

Anyway, let me know what you think of the trailer when you get a chance? Do you think the movie will be better than the first one? Are you looking forward to GI Joe 2 Retaliation?

Sulu Wants Star Wars and Star Trek Fans to Combat Twilight

The legendary George Takei (Star Trek’s Hikaru Sulu!) is calling for “Star Peace” — a movement that aims to unite Star Wars and Star Trek fans against the evil of Twilight. This is truly one of the most worthwhile causes I’ve heard of in years! Naturally, an Asian-American man is bringing everyone to their senses. Check out the video above and let me know what you think (please!).

Now kindly excuse me as I have to find my phaser and lightsaber. Hopefully they both work against bloodsucking teenagers.

Cello Wars (Star Wars Parody) Lightsaber Duel Rules!!!

This Star Wars musical parody by The Piano Guys is one of the best Internet videos I’ve seen in 2011. It’s funny, creative, and awesome all the same time. The music is great. The costumes are great. The comedy is fantastic. I completely love this video! If I wasn’t poor, I’d donate money to The Piano Guys just for making this highly entertaining video.

How about you? Check it out and let me know what you think (please!).

Coffee Talk #427: Beats by Dre is the New Bose — Overrated

I almost always see someone wearing Bose QuietComfort headphones when I fly. I almost always laugh at those people. Bose QuietComfort headphones are overpriced and overrated. You can get headphones — in-ear or cans — that cost the same or less…

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, Verve’s Sumatra Lake Tawar, impatiently waiting for Verizon’s Galaxy Nexus, or your favorite Christmas cartoon, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

I almost always see someone wearing Bose QuietComfort headphones when I fly. I almost always laugh at those people. Bose QuietComfort headphones are overpriced and overrated. You can get headphones — in-ear or cans — that cost the same or less and sound way better. I’ll take a pair of Etymotic, Shure, Grado, or UltimateEars headphones over Bose any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

In the last year or so, I’ve been spotting a lot of Beats by Dre headphones on airplanes. They’re pretty much Bose for the hipster crowd. They’re overpriced, overrated, and feature exaggerated bass. People think they’re cool and good because of their sharp style, great marketing, and fantastic distribution. I’m not saying that Bose and Beats make bad products; they make good stuff, but you can get much better for your money.

Today I was wondering if there are any brands or products that make you scoff. Do you automatically think “lamer!” when you see someone with Bose QuietComforts? Does your hipster-douche sensor go off when you see someone with an iPad at a coffeehouse? I can’t wait to read your comments! Fire away (please)!!!

The Lord of the Rings Nerd Logic Problem

I posted this important (and silly) question about The Lord of the Rings on my Facebook page and thought you guys might have fun with it too. “Say Aragorn was a lvl. 12 ranger at the start of The Fellowship of the Ring. What level and class was he at the end of The Return of the King?” I got some really cool and really nerdy answers from a few of my Facebook friends and I’m sure you guys can top it, so have at it (please)!

And also, just because I love these videos:

Check Out Bane From The Dark Knight Rises

Empire magazine has some great shots of the Bane costume from the upcoming Batman movie The Dark Knight Rises. With the negative reactions Catwoman’s costume received, I was hoping for something better with Bane. Unfortunately, I can’t get behind the Bane costume. To me, they’re trying too hard to make him look like Hannibal Lecter. In my head, Bane’s mask resembled that of a luchador and the “Venom” drug was pumped into the back of his head. Here it looks like Venom is feeding into his mouth. Also, what’s up with Bane’s jacket?!?

Any of you digging the updated look? Or are you disappointed. Please let me know what you think of Bane’s costume from The Dark Knight Rises?

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Coffee Talk #423: The Muppets Movie and You

Last night I went to a screening of The Muppets and left the theater completely charmed. It’s a fun and cute movie that mixes the classic feel of the Muppets previous musical adventures with several modern twists. As expected, Jason Segel’s…

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, Demi Moore filing for divorce, George Clooney possibly playing Steve Jobs, or 720p phone screens, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Last night I went to a screening of The Muppets and left the theater completely charmed. It’s a fun and cute movie that mixes the classic feel of the Muppets previous musical adventures with several modern twists. As expected, Jason Segel’s screenplay was respectful and reverent to Jim Henson’s timeless creations. What surprised me was several twists that could have felt dated, but were executed with a boldness that said, “Screw it. We’re going to do it the classic way and have fun with it!”

I loved the musical numbers. I loved the self referential jokes. A lot of the cameos were awesome (Dave Grohl’s was amazing, given the context), though some of them were weird (James Carville?!?). Most of all, I just loved the movie’s feel. It was positive and uplifting while being silly and humorous. It made me want to buy The Green Album. While some of the original Muppet puppeteers have problems with the new movie, I think that Jim Henson would have been proud.

I’m extremely curious to see how the movie performs and what reactions will be like. Older viewers that grew up with The Muppet Show will love it. Little kids will enjoy it. I’m not so sure about teens and young adults (the Twilight crowd). They’re too young to have Muppet nostalgia and old enough to find foam actors kind of stupid. Will a movie that centers around a variety show (not the most popular genre in America) and musical numbers appeal to them? I have my doubts, but I also hope the positive nature of the movie will appeal to children of all ages.

What are you thoughts on the movie? How will it play with the Twilight crowd? Any of you planning to see The Muppets next week?

Dakota Fanning Ad For Marc Jacobs “Oh, Lola!” Banned in UK

I’m not sure what’s more surprising — the British government banning Dakota Fanning’s advertisement for Marc Jacobs’ Oh, Lola! perfume or that Dakota Fanning is getting kind of hot. On one hand, England is the country that gave us “Page 3 Girls”. I figured those cats would be okay with an ad featuring an attractive 17-year old star. (Plus, those guys produced Emma Watson.) On the other hand, I never would have guessed the adorable girl from I Am Sam would transform into a sexy young woman.

Check out the photo from the advertisement below and share your thoughts on the Oh, Lola! banning.

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The Brett Ratner / Olivia Munn Controversy

I’m so pissed at Brett Ratner. He had to idiotically use the word “faggot” in an interview, which caused a whirlwind of controversy that led to him bowing out of producing The Oscars. Now all the attention has been taken away from his sordid tales of Olivia Munn. That sucks! Just in case you haven’t heard, here’s what Ratner said about the woman a lot of you know as Bolivia Bunn:

I used to date Olivia Munn, I’ll be honest with everyone here, but when she was Lisa. She wasn’t Asian back then. She was hanging out on my set of After the Sunset. I banged her a few times, but I forgot her. Because she changed her name, I didn’t know it was the same person and so when she auditioned for me for a TV show, I forgot her. She got pissed off, and so she made up all these stories about me eating shrimp and masturbating in my trailer. And she talked about my shortcomings.

Ratner later admitted that he made the whole thing up, but I’m going to conveniently ignore that. I found it hilarious that he accused Munn of being fake, exploiting her ethnicity for career advancement, and being forgettable. That’s awesome. I’m going to choose to focus on the statement above instead of his insensitive remarks and getting heat from The Academy.

I encourage all of you to refer to her as Lisa.

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