Binary Thoughts on the GI Joe 2 Retaliation Trailer

Congrats to my pals at Machinima for nabbing the exclusive premiere trailer for GI Joe 2: Retaliation. After watching the trailer, I’m actually kind of psyched for it. Aside from a few slick action scenes featuring Snake Eyes, GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra was horrible. As a GI Joe mark, I wanted the first one to be great, but it ended up being one of the most disappointing movies I’ve ever seen (Green Lantern currently holds the top spot). Here’s a binary breakdown of my thoughts on GI Joe Retaliation.

Good: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as Roadblock immediately grabbed my attention. He is, after all, the most electrifying man in all of entertainment. This role takes advantage of his action skills and receding hairline! Seriously though, I’m all about supporting The Rock’s movie career. I’ve seen all of his flicks except Tooth Fairy. I’m confident that he’ll do well in this movie.

Bad: I’m concerned about director Jon M. Chu, simply because the last movie he directed was — get this — Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. How the hell to you go from Bieber to GI Joe?!?

Good: You know, I’m not much of a Bruce Willis fan, but I love him as Joe Colton — the original GI Joe. That’s just great casting. It’s an ideal role for him at his age. His cholesterol line in the trailer killed me. Fair play to Bruce!

Bad: Although it looks like he’s taking a backseat to The Rock, Channing Tatum still has a big role as Duke. I can’t stand that guy. If John Cena had a little bitch brother, it would be Channing Tatum. I know he’s handsome and the girls love him, but his bad acting lacks the unintentional comedy of Paul Walker’s dazzling performances. Maybe we’ll all get lucky and he’ll die in this film.

Bad: The movie looks like it has campy moments that are more stupid than funny. In the first movie, the scene with the accelerator suit gave me a migraine. “What does it accelerate???” *dramatic pause* “You.” Ugh. The trailer for Retaliation already has one of those moments. Cobra takes over the White House…and promptly installs curtains. That’s so evil stupid, but it’s good to know that international terrorist organizations higher evil decorators.

Good: I’m looking forward to more Ray Park (Snake Eyes) action scenes. He’s a fantastic talent. I’ve been digging his work since Mortal Kombat: Annihilation and was thrilled that millions of people loved him as Darth Maul. He’s arguably the most prominent Westerner in telegenic martial arts (though I wish he’d fully exploit his Scottish heritage and say all his lines like Scrooge McDuck). I really hope he gets that Iron Fist movie he’s wanted for years before he gets too old.

Anyway, let me know what you think of the trailer when you get a chance? Do you think the movie will be better than the first one? Are you looking forward to GI Joe 2 Retaliation?

Author: RPadTV

6 thoughts on “Binary Thoughts on the GI Joe 2 Retaliation Trailer”

  1. Like, Raymond, i am also a HUGE Gi joe mark. Although i prefer my Roadblock to be a stereotypical angry 80's black man who speaks in rhymes, i suppose i can dig Dwayne Johnson. That being said, i dont expect much. I just hope it's better, i want something to be excited about, i'm desperate for someone of our generation to reboot these Hasbro based movies.

  2. It does have potential to be awesome. I didn't see that "Duke" was in the last half of the trailer so I was wondering if he got killed too. Also I hope marlon wayans isn't in this movie either or Joseph Gordon Levitt.

  3. I have to disagree with you on this one, Mr. Padilla. I, uh, "borrowed" the G.I. Joe movie from the internet and I thought it was a nice, mindless, enjoyable summer action flick. It was simple, but it was by no means bad, especially if you don't compare it (or do) to the 80's cartoon.

    If anything, it seemed like a grown-up graphic novel-like rendition of The Rise of Cobra. The title of the movie was appropriate and I love the Cobra Commander/Destro and Duke/Baroness connection. Was it deep? No. Was it original? No. On paper and through the previews, I had nothing but super low expectations for this movie, but I was surprised that it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

    I'm actually looking forward to the second installment (I'll see it legitimately next time around) because I'm curious to see what happens next.


  4. Oh boy, this'll be long… Huh? Oh, your article isn't actually in binary code? Thank. God. I debated on putting up the translation as a post, but that would just about quintuple the size of this page. You're welcome.

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