Coffee Talk #673: Low-Hanging Fruit

Several weeks ago in the RPad.TV chat, smartguy used the term “low-hanging fruit.” He was talking about politicians and their predilection for doing the bare minimum in order to get the job (kinda) done. As usual, I agreed with his take, but I also started having flashbacks (not quite flashbacks to ‘Nam, but along those lines in a less traumatic way).

You see, last year I worked for a website that constantly used the phrase low-hanging fruit in regards to editorial strategy.  Continue reading “Coffee Talk #673: Low-Hanging Fruit”

Coffee Talk #672: Emma Watson Will Rule 2017

Emma Watson is going to rule 2017. I’m fairly certain of this. This isn’t like the time I watched Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure and thought, “That Alex Winter has a huge future in Hollywood.” It’s not like the first time I saw The Rockers and thought, “Man, Marty Janetty needs to get rid of that other guy.” Shortly before the release of Beauty and the Beast and for the rest of the year, Emma Watson will own 2017.

The early clips of Beauty and the Beast (a pair embedded below for your convenience) look amazing. It looks like a frame-for-frame real-life recreation of the best Disney animated movie of all time. Emma Watson is an intelligent and beautiful woman in real life. Beauty and the Beast’s Belle is an intelligent and beautiful woman in the movie. The casting is perfect and the role should show off Emma Watson’s gorgeous spunkiness brilliantly. She even does a commendable job (for someone that isn’t a professional singer) paying tribute to Paige O’Hara’s incredible voice from the animated movie. I’m positive that the movie will rule and elevate Emma Watson’s radiant star to a whole new stratosphere (in the atmospheric sense, not like that crap Las Vegas casino).

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Coffee Talk #671: The Best of 2016

Another year is in the books! Thanks so much for making RPad.TV a part of your 2016. To celebrate and reflect on the year that was, let’s take a look back at some of the best things of 2016. Naturally, when I mean “best,” I really mean “favorite.” (The idea of a movie or a record being “best” is…stupid.) Below is a “Best of 2016” list of my favorite movie, vaping gear, album, WWE Superstar, and more. I’d love to hear about your favorite anything and everything of 2016. Please share your personal highlights in the comments section. Now let’s do this!

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Coffee Talk #670: Help Me Understand Broken Matt Hardy

I don’t get Broken Matt Hardy. He looks stupid. He sounds stupid. And his gimmick is stupid. For reasons that completely escape me, Broken Matt Hardy is incredibly over with smart marks. While I respect and appreciate his late-career resurgence, I don’t understand why pro-wrestling fans are into Broken Matt Hardy (Matt Hardy Version 4?). Hopefully you can help me understand the phenomenon.

Let’s start with the new and not-at-all improved look. Broken Matt Hardy has a Gentile-fro…with a white streak. He was never chiseled, and at age 42 looks softer than ever. The first time I saw a photo of him in 2016, I thought it was a photo of Eugene, the mentally challenged WWE character. I can’t be the only smark that noticed the resemblance. Whatever the case, I can’t think of a reason why a pro-wrestler would want to look like Eugene, unless he was playing a mentally challenged character.

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Coffee Talk #669: Black Friday Open Thread

It’s that time of the year again — a time for ridiculous deals, retail violence, and questionable purchasing decisions. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, Black Friday and Cyber Monday are nearly here. As always, I’d love to hear about the deals and steals you walked away with this year. Prior to the shopping extravaganza, feel free to share special deals with your fellow RPadholics in the comments section.

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Coffee Talk #668: Thank You Daniel Bryan!

The first time I saw Daniel Bryan wrestle was at a Ring of Honor show in Chicago Ridge, IL in 2006. He was still working under his real name, Bryan Danielson. My excellent friend Justin and I were there to support our buddy Austin Aries (the greatest man that ever lived). As expected, Aries killed it. The bonus was the hours of spectacular wrestling I wasn’t expecting. The guys from Japan — Genki Horiguchi, Dragon Kid, and Blood Generation — were spectacular. Delirious totally cracked me up. Most importantly, that night made me a mark for Bryan Danielson and Claudio Castagnoli. The two would go on to have tremendous success in the WWE as Daniel Bryan and Antonio Cesaro, respectively.

Last night on WWE Monday Night Raw, Daniel Bryan announced his retirement. He’s only 34-years old, but due to multiple concussions, he has to call it quits as pro-wrestler. It’s sad that he won’t be able to do what he loves. Selfishly, I’m bummed that he won’t be able to sports-entertain me any longer. Still, his short career in the WWE was a remarkable one. He connected with the fans in a powerful and unconventional way. While he was always among the best technical wrestlers in the WWE, he didn’t have “the look” or the size of a typical WWE headliner. Instead, Daniel Bryan connected with the fans with unusual honesty and earnestness. He was amazing in the ring and went about his work with a contagious joy. While I thought he would do well in the WWE, I never imagined that he’d headline WrestleMania and become the most “over” guy on the roster.

In addition to the Chicago Ridge show in 2006, I also saw Daniel Bryan wrestle in Detroit in 2007. There was so much I enjoyed about this guy. As a hair metal connoisseur, I loved that he used “The Final Countdown” as his entrance song. I got a kick out of him grabbing the mic from the ring announcer so that he could append his introduction with, “The best wrestler in Chicago this weekend.” His in-ring style was fantastic — a wonderful blend of technical wrestling and high-flying. His use of old-school moves, like the airplane spin, was outstanding. I loved when Daniel Bryan would remind the ref, “I have ’til five!” While he was still Bryan Danielson, Daniel Bryan was everything I wanted from an indie wrestler.

A photo posted by Raymond Padilla (@rpadtv) on

So yeah, those were the first two times I saw Daniel Bryan in person. The last time was in 2013. This time around, he was a full-blown WWE Superstar and a huge deal. I was doing red carpet interviews at a charity event for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Despite his crazy success, it was fantastic to see that Daniel Bryan was still a goofy, laid-backed guy. Off camera, we chatted about our mutual friend Austin Aries, as well as his suddenly-improved wardrobe. His then-girlfriend (now wife) Brie Bella gave him a fashion makeover. He was still proud of his corduroys, which he had for a long time (and totally didn’t match the rest of an otherwise slick ensemble). Daniel Bryan had made it big, but Bryan Danielson was still the guy under the new suit.

As many longtime RPadholics know, after Shawn Michaels retired, I put all my WWE hopes and dreams on Daniel Bryan and Antonio Cesaro. The latter is out with an injury and the former just retired. *sigh* I loved Daniel Bryan’s WWE run (despite the lack of “cattle mutilation“). It was probably the last time I greatly enjoyed the WWE product. While he didn’t have the longevity of many “top guys” in WWE history, his star was one of the brightest that ever burned.

Coffee Talk #667: Is Galactus Just a Cosmic Jobber?

A bunch of nerd friends and I were having a debate on the new Galactus. Without spoiling anything, the character underwent a major change (and a bit of retconning) in this week’s Ultimates #2. He went from being a supremely powerful cosmic threat to…uhm, that thing he is now (that I won’t reveal so as not to spoilarz you). Then again, was Galactus ever that much of a cosmic threat? Sure, he ate the occasional planet every now and then, but he got his ass handed to him every time he tried to eat Earth. During the debate, one of my friends said, “Galactus is just a cosmic jobber! It’s about time they made him interesting.”

As a fan of pro-wrestling and comics, I loved that he combined those two worlds. And he has a point. Galactus was beat up by his former herald, the Silver Surfer — a low-level employee! Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic of the Fantastic Four) scared off Galactus by showing him the Ultimate Nullifier. He didn’t even have to fire it up or shoot out a warning blast. Galactus turned tail at the mere sight of a weapon. If that doesn’t scream galactic pussy then I don’t know what does.

To keep going with the analogy, Galactus eating random planets is like getting a WWE win on SmackDown or a pay-per-view pre-show. In the Marvel Universe, that’s pretty much all Galactus has ever accomplished. He’s never gotten the comics equivalent of a big win on WWE Raw or a PPV main event victory. As large as he is and as menacing a headdress as he wears, it appears that Galactus is nothing more than a giant, purple jobber. Has he ever posed a real threat to the heroes of the Marvel Universe? Will he ever? In the immortal words of the late, great Gorilla Monsoon, “I find that highly unlikely.”

What’s your take on Galactus? Is he a menacing cosmic force? Or the comics equivalent of Mark Henry? Leave a comment and let me know (please!).