Miami Heat Fans Challenged to Fan Up — Blame LeBron!

Let me get this straight — the Miami Heat spent hundreds of millions to sign LeBron James and Chris Bosh, as well as resign Dwyane Wade, and they can’t get people to show up to games?!? That’s hilarious! To combat the ambivalence and ennui permeating Miami, the Miami Sound Marketing Machine has released this commercial urging fans to “fan up!” The marketers hope that the spot will lead to fans attending the games — showing up on time and staying until the game is over.

ESPN Slams Kobe Bryant Over Call of Duty Commercial

ESPN The Magazine senior writer Tim Keown blasted Los Angeles Lakers guard Kobe Bryant for appearing in the commercial for Call of Duty: Black Ops. He preys on ignorant readers’ sympathies by weaving a tale of teen-aged boys killed by gun violence and ties it to Bryant appearing in a commercial for an M-rated game. Here’s a clip from this amazingly irresponsible article:

Seriously, is that really Kobe Bryant carrying an assault weapon with the word “MAMBA” on the barrel? Did Kobe Bryant, the highest-paid player in the NBA, take money not only to advertise a shooting game but actually shoot — or simulate shooting — an automatic weapon while doing it? None of his people, not his wife or his agent or someone in the NBA offices, advised him against this?

I love ESPN — the network, the web site, and the magazine — so I was incredibly disappointed by Keown’s piece-of-crap article. Keown is a fine writer, but it was totally bush league of him not to mention that the game is rated M by the ESRB. I don’t believe for a second that he (or his editors) didn’t know this.

As some of you know, I’ve hated Bryant ever since he waved off a Karl Malone pick in an all-star game. I can’t believe I’m defending the alleged rapist, but Keown’s attack is ignorant and irresponsible. Sadly, people will buy into because he leaves out details like the game’s ESRB rating and intended audience. Ugh.

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Athletes Should Stop Texting (Tony Parker, Eva Longoria)

Athletes really need to cut it out with the naughty text messaging. Recently, Minnesota Viking’s Brett Favre was accused of sending SMS messages of his schlong to a woman. Now Eva Longoria has filed for divorce from San Antonio Spurs’ Tony Parker over sexually explicit text messages to and from Erin Barry (soon to be ex-wife of ex-teammate Brent Barry).

This sounds like a bad network drama. Longoria is hot and Parker is…well, French. He’s (allegedly) cheating on her with his ex-teammates wife?!? That’s crazy (Brian Fellow)!!! My favorite part of this situation is that Saved by the Bell’s Mario Lopez was the one that spilled the beans (he’s pals with Longoria). The affair isn’t as crazy as Justin Timberlake (allegedly) sleeping with Olivia Munn behind Jessica Biel’s back, but it’s pretty nuts.

I’m waiting for a general manager to prohibit his or her players from texting and tweeting. Some of them need to be saved from themselves.

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I Hope Manny Pacquiao Cripples Antonio Margarito

Let me preface this little rant by saying that even though I’m Filipino-American, I’m not a Manny Pacquiao fanboy. I enjoy his fights and love what he means to the Filipino people, but he’s not one of my all-time favorites. Let me also say that even though Antonio Margarito — Pacquiao’s opponent this Saturday — was caught cheating by trying to insert a plaster-like substance into his hand wraps, I was happy that his suspension was lifted and he’s getting a second chance.

With all of that in mind, I think it’s disgusting that Margarito, trainer Robert Garcia, and sparring partner Brandon Rios were making fun of Pacquiao trainer Freddie Roach’s Parkinson’s disease. I watched a video of these three ass clowns doing impersonations of Roach. It was totally classless. Here’s more from Yahoo! Sports Kevin Iole:

Margarito, along with trainer Robert Garcia and training partner Brandon Rios, a lightweight contender, didn’t fail to disgust the other day.

A video surfaced on the Internet – first at Fanhouse.com, then later on other sites after Fanhouse apparently pulled it — of Margarito, Garcia and Rios making fun of Freddie Roach’s Parkinson’s disease symptoms.

They mocked Roach’s tremors, laughing like classless juveniles at the plight of a man who is fighting a debilitating, life-altering disease. Margarito held his arms in front of him and shook them, mocking Roach. And then Garcia pointed to Rios, whose held was tilted forward to the left and was shaking and said, “Hey, there’s Freddie Roach.”

I should have added that I’m a bigger fan of Freddie Roach than anyone else involved in this fight. Anyway, if you really want to see the video, I’ve embedded it below. Fast forward to the 2:03 mark.

I honestly hope that Pacquiao leaves Margarito with some permanent brain damage.

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Another Reason Kevin Durant is Cooler Than LeBron James

Did you know that Oklahoma City Thunder star Kevin Durant played basketball with President Barack Obama in September? Of course not. Durant didn’t publicize “the event”. Here’s the scoop from ESPN:

According to the report, Durant’s agents, brothers Aaron and Eric Goodwin, made a connection with Reggie Love, Obama’s special assistant and personal aide, to get Durant an exclusive invitation to shoot hoops with the president. The visit occurred on Sept. 18, and Durant did not publicize the event.

I’m just blown away that Durant didn’t use the opportunity to get himself more press. If LeBron James played a game of horse with Joe Biden, he’d have it televised on ESPN3.

There’s got to be a catch with this Durant kid. He’s so different from the egomaniacs, punks, thugs, and idiots that make up the majority of NBA rosters. After Allen Iverson and his ilk ruined the NBA for me, a seemingly normal and well behaved young man like Durant is throwing me off.

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Kevin Garnett Allegedly Uses “Cancer Patient” in Trash Talk

The Boston Celtics’ Kevin Garnett — a player known for his trash talking — allegedly called the Detroit Pistons’ Charlie Villanueva a “cancer patient”. Villanueva has a condition called alopecia universalis, which prevents his hair growth. He recently posted two tweets that said:

KG called me a cancer patient, I’m pissed because, u know how many people died from cancer, and he’s tossing it like it’s a joke,

I wouldn’t even trip about that, but a cancer patient, I know way 2 many people who passed away from it, and I have a special place 4 those

Calling the whole situation a “miscommunication”, Garnett released a statement that said:

My comment to Charlie Villanueva was in fact ‘You are cancerous to your team and our league.’ I would never be insensitive to the brave struggle that cancer patients endure. I have lost loved ones to this deadly disease and have a family member currently undergoing treatment. I would never say anything that distasteful. The game of life is far bigger than the game of basketball.

That’s the lamest explanation I’ve ever heard. “You are cancerous to your team and our league,” doesn’t sound like anything a world class trash talker like Garnett would say. I hope someone posts tape of him using the term “cancer patient” and exposes his sorry ass.

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