Two Ted 2 Trailers For Your Teddybear Enjoyment

Check out these two Ted 2 trailers that were recently posted by Universal Pictures. First is a Superbowl spot featuring Tom Brady. The second is the extended trailer with more everything. While the lovely Mila Kunis isn’t in the sequel, she’s replaced by the equally lovely (in a different way) Amanda Seyfried. While the leading lady switcheroo will disappoint some viewers, everyone should be happy to learn that Sam Jones will be back in Ted 2. That guy is awesome…and probably needs the work.

Anyway, check out both clips when you have a chance and let me know what you think. Also, I need you do discuss the pros and cons of swapping Mila Kunis for Amanda Seyfried (because that’s an important discussion to have). Personally, I’m all for the switch. While Mila Kunis is a gorgeous woman and arguably the hottest MILF in Hollywood, I’ve always been a sucker for Amanda Seyfried’s anime eyes. I’m looking forward to seeing more of her in Ted 2.

Fantastic Four Trailer Is….

A trailer for the upcoming Fantastic Four movie has landed and it’s way different from what I was expecting. The tone is somber and serious, giving the movie a more dramatic feel than your typical summer-superhero fare. That’s not a bad thing at all and, of course, the trailer only shows one aspect of the movie. Having said that, as a longtime FF reader and someone that enjoyed moments of the previous Fantastic Four movies, the trailer didn’t have the tone that I wanted. When I think about the Fantastic Four, I think of Marvel’s foremost superhero family. Yeah, they have cool powers due to an irresponsible experiment with cosmic rays and they go on amazing adventures, but the dynamic between Reed, Sue, Ben, and Johnny is what “makes” the book for me.

Also, the trailer needed about 900 percent more Kate-Mara-in-skimpy-clothing clips.

Seriously though, Marvel superhero movies have generally been more “fun” than DC’s more serious films. While I’m sure that the Fantastic Four movie will have comedic moments and sweet CG-powered fight scenes, the trailer is making me prepare for a more serious side of Marvel’s filmic efforts.

What do you guys and dolls think of the trailer and its feel? Kindly share your thoughts in the comments section.

Kate Mara Fantastic Four

 

Coffee Talk #650: The Best Nerd Movies of 2014

2014 was a busy year for nerd movies. Some were excellent (Captain America: The Winter Soldier), some were uneven (X-Men: Days of Future Past), and some were crap (The Amazing Spider-Man 2). Out of all the nerd movies released this year, one surprised and delighted me more than any other — Guardians of the Galaxy.

The surprise was on a couple of levels. While I’m a fan of the recent Guardians of the Galaxy comics (Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning, Brian Michael Bendis), I didn’t think these characters were mainstream enough for a mass hit. Despite the monosyllabic talking tree and the haughty talking raccoon, that’s exactly what happened. Guardians slaughtered the box office and was generally well reviewed by mainstream media outlets.

The other surprise was Dave Bautista. As a longtime pro-wrestling fan that prefers skilled technicians over musclebound oafs, I’ve loathed Bautista for more than a decade. He sucked in the ring and on the mic for the WWE. I was certain that he’d suck in Guardians of the Galaxy. His performance was…shocking. Obviously Big Dave was made for action scenes, but I was astounded by his comedic timing. He delivered some great lines in the movie and I’m still astounded that his acting was entertaining.

As I’ve written a few times in the past, I believe that Captain America: The Winter Soldier is a superior movie from technical and writing standpoints. That said, Guardians is way more fun and re-watchable. Since their digital releases, I’ve seen Captain America: The Winter Soldier twice and…you know, I’m not actually sure how many times I’ve watched Guardians, but it’s definitely more than 10.

With its fantastic special effects, outstanding use of music, and fun performances, Guardians of the Galaxy gets my pick as nerd movie of the year.

LEGO Movie

Honorable Mentions

The LEGO Movie — This one was a surprise. I was expecting a saccharine movie for kids, but got a clever and heartfelt film. LEGO Batman ruled. “Everything is Awesome” ruled. The LEGO Movie was a smart and funny movie that’s great for children of all ages, and one of the most charming movies I’ve seen in years.

Birdman — I need to watch this movie again…several times. The writing and performances were great, but the camerawork was mesmerizing. The way the movie was filmed, it looks like a couple of really long tracking shots. Some have argued that it appears to be one tracking shot. Birdman is strange, powerful, and dazzling…but I’m still not sure what I saw. This movie definitely needs repeat viewings.

Birdman

Your Turn — As always, I want to hear about your favorite movies of 2014. Fire away in the comments section (please!).

Star Wars: The Force Awakens…George Lucas Special Edition?!?

Most of us have been dazzled by the trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens and were thoroughly entertained by the LEGO version of the trailer, but are you ready for the George Lucas Special Edition? Whether you loved or hated the “enhanced” versions of the original Star Wars trilogy, you definitely need to check out this video. It takes the content of the trailer and (needlessly) adds all sorts of special effects. I’m confident that you’ll get a chuckle out of randomly seeing Jabba the Hutt and the ghost of new Anakin Skywalker pasted into the trailer. Star Wars fanboys that were irritated by the new crossguard lightsaber will go absolutely nuts when they see the double-bladed double-crossguard version of the weapon. Ha!

Check out the clip below and please let me know what you think when you have a moment.

Stephen Colbert Defends the Crossguard Lightsaber (Star Wars)

One of the latest Star Wars controversies, the crossguard lightsaber shown in the teaser trailer for The Force Awakens has sparked a ton of nerd debate. Some fans think that it looks cool and could possibly serve as an excellent defensive tool. Other fans think that a crossguard lightsaber is almost as dumb as Darth Maul’s double-bladed lightsaber and that it has great potential to damage the user. As with so many situations in the world, Stephen Colbert added some much needed wisdom to the discussion.

In a recent episode of The Colbert Report, Colbert talked about his background as a lifelong Star Wars geek and nerdily gave reasons why a crossguard lightsaber makes sense. Check out the video below for a thorough and hilarious explanation.

As much as I admire Colbert and try to model my life after his, I’m not yet sold on his explanation. A certified master bladesmith told The Washington Post why a crossguard lightsaber would be dangerous to the user. While Colbert knows a great many things that cover an astonishing variety of topics, I think I’m going to go with the certified master bladesmith on this one.

Besides, the crossguard lightsaber clip shown in The Force Awakens trailer seemed like it was trying to one-up the first time Darth Maul busted out the double-bladed lightsaber in the first trailer for The Phantom Menace. Eventually, it’s going to lead to stupid things like this:

Star Wars: The Force Awakens LEGO Trailer is Amazing

Millions of nerds were delighted by the teaser trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Arguably the most anticipated nerd movie of all time, legions of fans can’t wait for it, while many fans are dreading it. Although The Force Awakens and all the rumors that surround it can (and will be) debated for thousands of hours, there’s no denying that the LEGO version of the trailer is absolutely amazing. Released the day after the official trailer hit, the LEGO version is an outstanding shot-by-shot remake of the source material. As always, adding LEGO to the mix makes things funnier by a factor of 12.

Check out the LEGO trailer below, followed by the actual Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer for comparison. After you’ve checked ’em out, let me know what you think in the comments section (please). It’s pretty astounding what these cats did in a day, don’t you agree?

Guardians of the Galaxy Meets…Friends?!?

What do you get when you mashup the smash movie hit Guardians of the Galaxy and the smash television hit Friends? The answer is…a shockingly entertaining video that makes a lot of sense. Think about it for a minute. The witty and sarcastic Peter Quill makes total sense as Chandler Bing. The slow and loyal Drax the Destroyer is perfect as Joey Tribbiani (when you add green skin pigmentation and years of human growth hormone abuse). Since there’s only one lady in the Guardians lineup, I guess Gamora has to be Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe.

Anyway, check out the clip below and let me know what you think of this funky mashup of Guardians of the Galaxy and Friends. In case you missed it, here’s my review of the movie.

Ooh Child: A Comparison (Guardians of the Galaxy)

The Star Lord vs. Ronan the Accuser dance-off showdown in Guardians of the Galaxy is an adorably ridiculous scene. On the verge of defeat, Peter Quill (Star Lord) decides to distract Ronan with some singing and dancing. On paper, it doesn’t make any sense, but actor Chris Pratt pulls it off with such charm that you can’t help but enjoy the scene. Of course it helps that it’s see to the fantastic “Ooh Child” by the Five Stairsteps. A classic soul song from 1970, “Ooh Child” is a tender and uplifting tune…that’s a brilliant precursor for a laser rifle blast.

Since I’ve watched the movie several times this week, “Ooh Child” has been stuck in my head. Let’s take a look at several versions of this excellent song, starting with the original from the Five Stairsteps. The live performance below is taken from Soul Train and is all kinds of awesome. The ’70s outfits are…spectacular.

Although the Five Stairsteps originally recorded the song, some people are more familiar with the Nina Simone version. I’m not going to argue with anyone that thinks of “Ooh Child” as a Nina Simone song since Nina Simone is awesome. Personally, I prefer the original, but totally understand people that prefer the Simone version.

Next up is a pair of covers featuring Cyndi Lauper. I’m a huge fan of her songs (especially “Time After Time” and “True Colors”) and adore her voice. First up, Cyndi teams up with Destiny’s Child for some lovely harmonizing accompanied by an excellent keyboard tone. That version of “Ooh Child” is followed by an a capella (mostly) clip of Cyndi and her backing artists.

As a big fan of Hall & Oates, I really enjoyed their take on the song musically, if not lyrically. Featuring Hall’s soulful voice, some pleasantly subtle guitar playing by Oates, and dreamy keyboards, this version is distinct. The lyrics were rewritten for this arrangement, which I wasn’t really big on. I prefer the simplicity of the original.

The Valerie Carter version below features some nice vocals, but I’m not too sure about the slide guitar solo. It kind of “rednecks” (yes, I’m using that word as a verb) a very soulful song.

Lastly, as a fan of acoustic jams on a porch and an even bigger fan of sandwiches, I’m high on this “Ooh Child” cover by Danielle Ate the Sandwich.

Coffee Talk #647: Aunt May, Dr. Doom, and Pissing Off Comics Fans

While Marvel Studios has been serving up comic book movies that entertain both fanboys and mainstream moviegoers, other studios continue to find ways to piss off comics fans. You’d think that Fox and Sony would learn from Marvel Studios productions like Iron ManCaptain America, and The Avengers, no? Instead, the studios that (unfortunately) hold movie licenses for the Fantastic Four and Spider-Man seem to be going out of their way to irk comic book readers, if the rumors are to be believed. As a lifelong comics nerd, the recent rumors are bugging the hell out of me. Today’s Coffee Talk is all about therapeutic venting.

Let’s start with the upcoming Fantastic Four movie. In a recent interview with Collider, actor Tony Kebbell revealed how his version of Dr. Doom will differ from the comic book version. Kebbell said, “He’s Victor Domashev, not Victor Von Doom in our story. The Doom in ours — I’m a programmer. Very anti-social programmer.” That’s…terrible. Dr. Doom is one of the most interesting and complex villains in comics. He’s a cool mix of science and sorcery. His harshness is offset by a genuine love for the people he rules in Latveria. One of the worst parts of the last pair of Fantastic Four movies was that they made Dr. Doom an evil businessman instead of an awesome scientist/sorcerer. The next Dr. Doom is an evil programmer. I’m not sure if that’s better or worse than an evil businessman, but I know that it still sucks.

Already expanding the Spider-Man franchise with upcoming Sinister Six and Venom movies, Sony is rumored to be pursuing a movie based on — get this — Aunt May. When I read the rumor on Latino Review, my (NSFW) reaction was something like this:

The Aunt May movie (I can’t believe I just typed that) is supposedly a spy film. The good news is that the rumor is so completely ridiculous that part of me believes that a Sony PR flak leaked it just to mess with the press. The bad news is that there’s a good chance I’ll be forced to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge if I wake up in a world where an Aunt May movie is a real thing.

Anyway, that’s enough venting for now. What do you guys and dolls think about the latest Fantastic Four and Spider-Man Aunt May rumors? How do you feel about a Fantastic Four movie where Dr. Doom isn’t an awesome scientist/sorcerer named Victor Von Doom, but is instead an angry programmer named Victor Domashev? Do you think an Aunt May spy movie is too nuts to be true? Kindly share your thoughts in the comments section.

Random Thoughts on Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

I’m a big fan of the Sin City comics and a huge fan of the first Sin City movie. With that in mind, I had fairly big expectations going into Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. That said, I wasn’t expecting it to outdo its predecessor — the first movie’s source material is just superior. Sin City: A Dame to Kill For uses two of Frank Miller’s existing stories (one of which is only okay) and two new ones. While it’s certainly not as good as the first film, it’s my favorite movie of 2014 thus far. Let’s take a look at Sin City: A Dame to Kill For using the tried and true RPadTV binary system. [Light spoiler shields, activated!]

Sin City A Dame to Kill For Marv

3D or Not 3D (Good): Sin City: A Dame to Kill For starts off with a fast-paced story called “Just Another Saturday Night” featuring the inimitable Marv. There’s not a lot going on as far a depth and character development, but the opening plot quickly pulls you back into the world of Sin City and shows off some phenomenal 3D special effects. Robert Rodriguez uses 3D similarly to how he uses color in the mostly black-and-white Sin City movies. 3D enhances the visuals and is part of the storytelling, not a tacked on afterthought like 3D used in most movies. That said, after “Just Another Saturday Night,” the 3D isn’t used as frequently or effectively, but for the first 10 minutes of the movie, it’s spectacular.

Not as Deadly Little Miho (Bad): While Jamie Chung did a decent job of replacing Devon Aoki as the wicked, katana-wielding Miho, she doesn’t quite measure up. Aoki was great in the role; her facial expressions were creepier and it helped that she looked so young. There’s something f#cked up about a baby-faced prostitute assassin that slices off heads as frequently and easily as most people open soda cans. Plus, I always got a kick out of Devon Aoki dispensing decapitations; in my head her inner voice says, “There’s your volcano, bitch!” (Aoki is the daughter of Rocky Aoki, founder of the Benihana chain of restaurants, home of the volcano onion.) Anyway, Chung did a passable job as Miho, but she wasn’t as nasty or as menacing as her predecessor.

Sin City A Dame to Kill For Eva Green

Eva Green Owns (Good): Eva Green was — by far — the MVP of Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. Her character, Ava, was incredibly captivating. Visually, she stood out with her bright green eyes and deep red lips. Green’s performance was even more extraordinary. She made Eva beautiful, manipulative, seductive, alluring, deadly, cunning, and unbalanced. Ava is the type of woman that you find immensely attractive and scary as hell. She’s like a dazzling light that attracts moths. Men can see that it will end poorly for them, but her presence is irresistible. While the movie had several good performances, Eva Green’s was the most outstanding.

Odd Pacing (Bad): Although the movie clocks in at a relatively short 102 minutes, it feels longer. My good buddy Paul said that Sin City: A Dame to Kill For felt like it had one too many plot lines and was surprised when I told him the movie’s runtime. While I didn’t feel that the movie was too long, I understand people that feel otherwise. Perhaps because there’s so much packed into the 102 minutes, some moviegoers got viewer fatigue. There aren’t many slow moments in the film, but maybe it could have used some to give the viewer a break.

Beautiful Women (Good): If you’re a guy or gal that’s into beautiful women then there’s a lot to enjoy in Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. The movie is full of gorgeous, gorgeous ladies. Eva Green spends a good chunk of the movie naked. Jessica Alba spends a lot of time sexily dancing at Kadie’s Saloon. Rosario Dawson, Juno Temple, Jamie Chung, and Jaime King are just some of the other beautiful women in the film. It’s babetacular.

Sin City A Dame to Kill For Nancy Jessica Alba

Manute II (Bad): As a huge fan of Dennis Haysbert (Cerrano 4 Life!!!), I felt bad that he was pegged to replace Michael Clarke Duncan as Manute. The late giant had a physical presence and booming voice that are impossible to duplicate. It was a no-win situation for Haysbert, but he did well — certainly better than Jamie Chung did replacing Devon Aoki. That said, Michael Clarke Duncan was a perfect role for Manute and Haysbert’s performance was certainly a step down.

The New Stuff (Good): As I mentioned in the intro, two of Sin City: A Dame to Kill For’s storylines were written by Frank Miller just for the movie — “The Long Bad Night” and “Nancy’s Last Dance.” For the most part, they measure up well to Frank Miller’s other tales. I was pleasantly surprise by Joseph Gordon-Levitt in “The Long Bad Night.” His performance was charming, though towards the end of the story it felt like he was channeling Bruce Willis’ character from the first Sin City film (too whiney). “Nancy’s Last Dance” was more enjoyable for me, though I fully admit that I’m completely smitten by Jessica Alba. I believe she’s the most beautiful MILF in the world and should be referred to as Milfimus Prime. What I enjoyed about both stories is that they both end with Pyrrhic victory. Both protagonists get what they want, but both pay a horrible price. These stories reminded me of why Dante from Clerks enjoyed Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, “It ends on such a down note. I mean, that’s what life is — a series of down endings.”

Sin City A Dame to Kill For Nancy 2

Bottom Line: While Sin City: A Dame to Kill For isn’t as good as the original, I very much enjoyed it. As expected, the visuals were striking and phenomenal, with the 3D being unexpectedly fantastic. There are several strong performances in the movie and most of the storytelling is strong. I got exactly what I wanted from Sin City: A Dame to Kill For and then some. To my surprise, I enjoyed it more than Godzilla and Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Checking out some other reviews, the movie is getting panned by people that feel that Frank Miller has become a misogynistic fascist. Fairly or unfairly, his political transformation has netted some negative reviews. For my part, I was ignorant of Miller’s political rantings going into the film and only learned about them yesterday. I haven’t had enough time to process them yet, but what I can say for sure is that I enjoyed Sin City: A Dame to Kill For more than any other movie I’ve seen this year.