Best Care Package Evar!!!

My friend Justin (RPadholic @jpkmets) sent me an awesome care package consisting of an Amazon Kindle, a Big Trouble in Little China t-shirt from The Wing Kong Exchange, and a Porkchop Express sticker. Everything in the box is pure awesome.

As many of you know, Big Trouble in Little China is one of my favorite movies of all time. I want to be more like Jack Burton. I reviewed a first-generation Kindle for a friend’s newspaper and loved it, but had to send it  back. I love the look and feel of the Kindle 2 and promptly downloaded Bill Simmons’ The Book of Basketball (i.e. the reason why I started late on the site today *snicker*).

Thanks Justin!!!

Superman Reboot Being Supervised by Christopher Nolan?

The Superman movie franchise is headed for another reboot and rumor has it that Chris Nolan will be supervising Big Blue’s return to the silver screen. Deadline Hollywood has reported:

The studio has turned to Chris Nolan to mentor development of the movie. Our insiders say that the brains behind rebooted Batman has been asked to play a “godfather” role and ensure The Man Of Steel gets off the ground after a 3 1/2-year hiatus. Nolan’s leadership of the project can set it in the right direction with the critics and the fans, not to mention at the box office. Besides, Nolan is considered something of a god at Warner Bros and has a strong relationship with the studio after the success of Batman Begins and The Dark Knight.

I’ve enjoyed loads of Superman comics over the years and I loved the first two Superman movies starring Christopher Reeve. The problem with Superman is that it’s hard to make him interesting and vulnerable in a two-hour film. His weaknesses include kryptonite, magic, and bossy newspaper reporters. Kryptonite is too easy and has been done to death. Magic seems silly to most mainstream moviegoers (though Superman vs. Voldemort would be funny). Superman II worked because he faced off against three people with the same powers and General Zod was frickin’ awesome. How do you top that?

I’d love to see a Kingdom Come movie, but that would be too confusing for casual fans and it would be too expensive to make. What do you think the ingredients are to a good Superman movie?

Source

Phoenix Sun’s Steve Nash Spoofs Avatar on Team Airplane

Not only is the Phoenix Sun’s Steve Nash one of the best NBA point guards of all time, he’s also skilled at the fine art of pop-culture parodies. In this movie, Nash spoofs Avatar during a flight on the team airplane. The short is called Bar’bo’sa, which pokes fun at the Na’vi race and Nash’s teammate Leandro Barbosa. It’s cute, goofy, and fun…and a lot more useful and creative than bringing a gun to the locker room. Check it out!

30th Annual Razzie Award Nominees Announced

The Golden Raspberry Foundation has announced the nominees for the 30th annual Razzie Awards. In addition to “awarding” the worst movies, actors, and actresses of 2009, this year’s nominees include special categories for the worst picture, actor, and actress of the decade.

Check out the nominees and give me your picks (especially for the last three awards)!

Word Picture of 2009
• All About Steve
• G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
• Land of the Lost
• Old Dogs
• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (aka Trannies, Too)

Word Actor of 2009
• All Three Jonas Brothers, Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience
• Will Ferrell, Land of the Lost
• Steve Martin, Pink Panther 2
• Eddie Murphy, Imagine That
• John Travolta, Old Dogs

Worst Actress of 2009
• Beyoncé, Obsessed
• Sandra Bullock, All About Steve
• Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie
• Megan Fox, Jennifer’s Body and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
• Sarah Jessica Parker, Did You Hear About the Morgans?

Worst Screen Couple of 2009
• Any Two (or More) Jonas Brothers, The Jonas Brothers 3-D Concert Experience
• Sandra Bullock & Bradley Cooper, All About Steve
• Will Ferrell & Any Costar, Creature or “Comic Riff,” Land of the Lost
• Shia LaBeouf & Either Megan Fox or Any Transformer, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
• Kristen Stewart & Either Robert Pattinson or Taylor Whatz-His-Fang, Twilight Saga: New Moon

Worst Supporting Actress of 2009
• Candice Bergen, Bride Wars
• Ali Larter, Obsessed
• Sienna Miller, G.I. Joe
• Kelly Preston, Old Dogs
• Julie White (as Mom), Trannies, Too

Worst Supporting Actor of 2009
• Billy Ray Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie
• Hugh Hefner (as himself), Miss March
• Robert Pattinson, Twilight Saga: New Moon
• Jorma Taccone (as Cha-Ka), Land of the Lost
• Marlon Wayans, G.I. Joe

Word Remake, Rip-off or Sequel
• G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
• Land of the Lost
• Pink Panther 2 (a Rip-Off of a Sequel to a Remake)
• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
• Twilight Saga: New Moon

Worst Director of 2009
•Michael Bay, Trannies, Too
• Walt Becker, Old Dogs
• Brad Silberling, Land of the Lost
• Stephen Sommers, G.I. Joe
• Phil Traill, All About Steve

Worst Screenplay of 2009
• All About Steve
• G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
• Land of the Lost
• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
• Twilight Saga: New Moon

Worst Picture of the Decade
• Battlefield Earth (2000)
• Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
• Gigli (2003)
• I Know Who Killed Me (2007)
• Swept Away (2002)

Worst Actor of the Decade
• Ben Affleck: Daredevil, Gigli, Jersey Girl, Paycheck, Pearl Harbor, Surviving Christmas
• Eddie Murphy: Adventures of Pluto Nash, I Spy, Imagine That, Meet Dave, Norbit, Showtime
• Mike Myers: Cat in the Hat, The Love Guru
• Rob Schneider: The Animal, Benchwarmers, Deuce Bigalo: European Gigolo, Grandma’s Boy, The Hot Chick, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Little Man, Little Nicky
• John Travolta: Battlefield Earth, Domestic Disturbance, Lucky Numbers, Old Dogs, Swordfish

Worst Actress of the Decade
• Mariah Carey: Glitter
• Paris Hilton: The Hottie & the Nottie, House of Wax, Repo: The Genetic Opera
• Lindsay Lohan: Herbie Fully Loaded, I Know Who Killed Me, Just My Luck
• Jennifer Lopez: Angel Eyes, Enough, Gigli, Jersey Girl, Maid in Manhattan, Monster-in-Law, The Wedding Planner
• Madonna: Die Another Day, The Next Best Thing, Swept Away

Source

(Not a) Review of Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic

I attended a screening of Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic on Tueday. It was full of ultra-violence, disturbing imagery, cool animation, and vagina-shaped thingies. As a standalone animated film, it was okay. As an animated film that promotes a game, it totally succeeded in making me want to play Dante’s Inferno. Here are some assorted thoughts (not a review!) on the movie.

In the first few seconds, I was impressed with the animation style and was expecting something fairly realistic. The first three minutes of the film shattered all of my expectations. It went something like this:

  • Minute One: Dante’s horse flies upside down. For a second I thought he was attempting to do M. Bison’s “psycho crusher” from Street Fighter.
  • Minute Two: Dante returns home to find the slaughtered remains of his family and servants. This was just a taste of the gore that was about to come.
  • Minute Three: The spirit of Dante’s beloved Beatrice Portinari goes full frontal. This was just a taste of the boobs and vaginae that were were about to come.

So yeah! The animation style was impressive and disturbing in that tentacle-porn way. Compared to Planet Hulk, an animated film I recently saw, the art style and technique were out of this world. That said, some people might not like that several different animation studios with distinct art styles contributed to this movie. One of my friends in atendance didn’t like how disjointed and inconsistent everything was. In some scenes, Dante was thin and had long hair. In other scenes he was buff and had short hair. His appearance during the flashbacks reflected whatever style a particular animation house was using.

Perhaps I’m giving the film too much credit, but I chalked it up to journeying through a spiritual realm and perception changing in the various Circles of Hell. Hmmm, after typing that thought, I’m definitely giving the film too much credit.

Oh yeah, the Nine Circles of Hell hurts and works for this movie. Starting in the real world, traveling through the Nine Circles, and having flashbacks is a lot to do in an 88-minute movie. It definitely feels rushed and sometimes forced. Death’s Scythe — one of Dante’s two major weapons — isn’t explained at all; it seems like it’s just a random object Dante finds early in the movie and keeps for the next 84 minutes. Virgil’s introduction is done in like 15 seconds, “Hey, I’m Virgil! You loved my poetry and I’ll be your guide. Try the veal!” The way it does work is that it teases each circle as a level. It made me want to see more of each level and all of the boss fights.

The violence in the movie is completely over-the-top and it can be lots of fun. Some of the fight scenes were awesome, but by the end of the film I had my fill. The impact of Dante’s showdown with Lucifer was lost on me because my brain couldn’t process any more violence. If crazy fight scenes are your thing then you’ll love this flick. It makes Kill Bill look like Bambi.

There are some people — a certain game designer with a masters in English that’s working on BioShock 2 comes to mind — that will be offended by the movie’s liberties. Sure, a lot of details were altered, but the movie (and presumably the game) had far more accuracies than I was expecting. If it gets people interested in The Divine Comedy and leads to gamers reading the books, that’s just a fantastic thing. Besides, if you were expecting a literal translation in this movie or the game then you’re just stupid.

Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic comes out on February 9, 2010 — the same week as the game. This is a mistake. It should be out now to generate more interest in the game. As a marketing tool, it excels at making people want to play on PS3 and Xbox 360. Few people are going to want to buy it after playing. It entertained me, but it’s hard to recommend it as a Blu-ray or DVD purchase. I do think it would be an excellent impulse download on PSN or Xbox Live, so long as you’re expecting tons of gratuitous violence, gallons of blood, and vagina walls.

Mortal Kombat Movie Reboot in the Works?

Word on the street is that Warner Bros. is looking to reboot the Mortal Kombat movie franchise. The first movie was fun and full of unintentional comedy. The second movie was…not so good. Before I get into my reasoning for why the first movie is worth watching, here’s the word from Bloody Disgusting:

Warner Bros. Pictures has been looking to redo Mortal Kombat with Oren Uziel in talks to write. Based on Midway’s popular 1992 video game, the franchise follows the best fighters from around the globe who are summoned to an island to compete in a tournament whose outcome will determine the fate of the entire planet. Uziel’s Shimmer Lake made the 2009 black list, which features the best unproduced screenplays around Hollywood.

Okay, I will swear up and down the West Coast that the first movie is worth seeing. It has Christopher Lambert’s ridiculous accent, the sexy Talisa Soto, the future Mrs. Pete Sampras (or Veronica Vaughn from Billy Madison, if you will), a bunch of martial artists from the WMAC Masters show, and Robin Shou’s Richie Sambora-inspired hair! These components are like the Voltron lions; you add ’em up and the first MK movie becomes an unstoppable giant-robot force of a flick! I’m right about this. Don’t question me.

Source via Joystiq

Can You Spot All the WWE Superstars in the MacGruber Trailer?

There are currently six WWE Superstars involved in the MacGruber movie and five of them can be found in this trailer. 50 RPad points will be awarded to anyone that can spot them all. If Dumbledore can randomly award points then so can I (just don’t ask what the points are good for).

I really don’t “get” MacGruber. Some of the sketches were fun, but I never thought of Will Forte as someone that was funny enough to carry a movie. Those “Falconer” sketches?!? Half the time I was laughing at how bad they were. The good news for the movie is that it has a strong supporting cast, included some excellent WWE Superstars!

Confession: I Want to See Tooth Fairy

I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I want to see Tooth Fairy starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. As a wrestling fan, I feel it’s my duty to support his movie career. Supporting The Rock’s movie career will help other sports entertainers be accepted as…uh…entertainer entertainers. Plus, he’s just good in that macho-man-becomes-sensitive-guy role (see The Game Plan).

Plus, the movie has Julie Andrews! I forget that this woman is alive and still bringing it. She was brilliant in The Sound of Music. It’s amazing that she’s entertaining a whole new generation of moviegoers more than 40 years later with excellent movies like Enchanted and Shrek 2. She deserves a Nobel prize for four decades of awesomness (I think they give one out for that, no?).

So there’s my confession. Any chance any of you are interested in the movie?