Random Thoughts On Cloud Atlas (Not a Review!)

I’m certain that Cloud Atlas will be one of the most divisive movies of 2012. There are parts of it that are wonderfully written, skillfully acted, deftly directed and beautifully filmed. There are also parts of it that are jarring, confusing, and incongruous. Some people will love its boldness and complexity. Others will find it a sloppy mess. As for me, my head is still spinning five days after watching the movie. After having time to digest it, I still feel that Cloud Atlas was more interesting than good. [Mild spoilers ahead!]

For those of you that don’t know the story behind the movie, Cloud Atlas is based on David Mitchell’s book of the same name. It tells six different stories set in different time periods. The idea is that each character’s soul is reincarnated in a different era. The book tells the story chronologically up until the midpoint. From there, the story flows backwards in time, wrapping up each tale.

The movie eschew’s Mitchell’s structure and hops around time periods several times throughout the movie. Each actor plays multiple roles (reincarnated souls, remember?), sometimes portraying someone of a different race or gender. One of the problems with the film, particularly in the beginning, is that the cuts between eras feel abrupt and jarring. This will baffle some moviegoers, almost as if they have to work in order to figure out what’s going on. Adding to the incongruity is that the six stories were written and directed by two teams. The 19th century tale and the two future stories were handled by Andy and Lana Wachowski (The Matrix), while the other three were handled by Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run). At times, they blend together smoothly. At times, the cuts will make you feel like you were hit over the head with a cast iron frying pan.

For simplicities sake, I’m going to comment on the six storylines individually.

The Pacific Journal of Adam Ewing: This story is about a naive American notary in the 1850s. He gets shipwrecked on an island, makes a doctor friend, and makes a slave friend. The doctor turns out to be an opportunistic knob, while the slave ends up saving his life. He returns to America vowing not to support slavery.

While the moral is uplifting, this plot was kind of boring and predictable. Watching a guy getting progressively sicker isn’t fun, especially when you know that he’ll eventually get saved by his newfound slave friend.

Letters from Zedelghem: These scenes were much better. The protagonist is a bisexual music composer named Robert Frobisher. While he has been a lowly prostitute, he seeks fame and fortune through music. To achieve his goals, he interns for a famous composer while boning the composer’s wife on the side (free of charge). He composes the hauntingly beautiful “Cloud Atlas Sextet”, but fortune and glory are exchanged for blackmail and shootings. In addition to the movie scenes, the story is told through letters from Frobisher to his love, Rufus Sixsmith. I really enjoyed the blend of drama and romance in this plot.

Half-Lives — The First Luisa Rey Mystery: This was an enjoyable mystery set in ’70s San Francisco. It was intriguing, with a sprinkle of thrills. I enjoyed seeing familiar San Francisco streets and scenes. The story made me wish that I could spend a year in the ’70s; disco, drugs, careless sex, and polyester get a bad rap. Also, Keith David was completely awesome as a ’70s African-American. He was like Shaft’s bad-ass uncle. Halle Berry was a great ’70s hottie too.

The Ghastly Ordeal of Timothy Cavendish: This modern-day story was uneven, but had some enjoyable moments. The main character is a publisher that suddenly has success when his criminal client’s book gets hot after said criminal kills a critic. Unfortunately, the criminal’s pals want a cut of the book’s revenues. The publisher goes on the run, but gets trapped in a nursing home that’s more like a prison. From there, the story becomes a geriatric version of The Great Escape.

Tom Hanks was awesome as a British thug, Hugo Weaving was hilarious as a menacing female nurse, and Jim Broadbent was charming as the lead.

An Orison of Sonmi~451: This was my favorite plot of the movie and a reminder that the Wachowski siblings excel at sci-fi. It takes place in the future, in a utopian city called New Seoul. Regular people are served by genetically cloned “fabricants” that are promised upward mobility if they perform their jobs well. The reality of fabricant life is disturbing.

Of course there are rebels that want to reveal the truth about fabricants. One of the rebels helps a fabricant named Sonmi 451 live a free life and inspire a revolution (that unfortunately leads to the downfall of civilization). This story is full of action scenes and laser beams, but also has romantic and macabre moments. It was the most interesting, complex, and surprising tale of the six.

Sloosha’s Crossin’ an’ Ev’rythin’ After: This story takes place in post-apocalyptic Hawaii. Tom Hanks plays a goat herder living a primitive life with a tribe. Halle Berry is one of the few people left that has ties to technology. Naturally, the tribespeople are plagued by marauding a-holes wearing face paint. After some tribulations, Hanks has to lead Berry up a mountain to reach some forbidden technology. Adventure ensues, villains attack, and truths are revealed.

The weird thing about this storyline is that the apocalyptic event has lead to a devolution of the English language. When I was talking about this plot with my friend Paul, I referred to it as “The Cajun goat herders story.” The English spoken reminded me of Adam Sandler in The Waterboy. Paul mentioned that it reminded him of the way the tribal kids spoke in Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. The wacky dialogue took away from this story. I kept waiting for Bobby Boucher to run in and save Hanks/Berry with a vicious tackle. Also, Halle Berry stole Princess Leia’s white outfit and it miraculously remained clean throughout a treacherous mountain trek.

Individually, I liked or loved most of the stories. In the book they’re tied together organically. For example, Luisa Rey reads Frobisher’s letters to Sixsmith while Sonmi watches a televised dramatization of Cavendish’s adventures. The movie uses these devices too, but doesn’t follow the same order as the book. Instead, they’re interwoven randomly. Some of the individual stories themselves are told in a time-hopping fashion too. It’s confounding because most of the stories are very good on their own, but something is taken away from the manner in which everything is combined.

The transitions between stories — of which there are like 100 — can be disconcerting. The constant time-hopping makes the number of characters hard to keep track of, especially in the beginning. At times, the movie made me feel a bit stupid. Generally speaking, enjoyable entertainment shouldn’t make you feel dumb.

I’m confident that some people and critics will find Cloud Atlas bold and clever. I’m also confident that some people and critics will find it confusing and haphazardly constructed. All of it is true. Cloud Atlas is a bold and clever movie that’s confusing and haphazardly constructed. I enjoyed, but I’m still not sure if what I saw was very good. Like I said in the intro, it was more interesting than good.

Brian May Talks Sacha Baron Cohen, Queen Movie

Remember that Queen movie starring Sacha Baron Cohen I wrote about way back in September 2010? Apparently it’s on track for a 2014 release. Here’s what legendary Queen guitarist Brian May told Fact:

Filming is now scheduled to start in the Spring, with Sacha Baron Cohen playing Freddie. The film should be ready for release early in 2014.

Being in Queen is — bizarrely — as full of surprising twists and turns as ever — 40 years since we first got together, and 20 years after losing Freddie. But of course Freddie is in so many ways very much alive. He must be wryly smiling somewhere.

As a big Sacha Baron Cohen fan and an even bigger Queen fan, I can’t wait for this movie. For my money, Freddie Mercury is the greatest frontman that ever lived. His amazing voice and powerful stage presence were just…wow. I’ve never seen anyone better. I still get chills watching him work the crowd during Live Aid. Watch the performance below and witness Freddie’s glory.

Anyone else amped to watch Sacha Baron Cohen as Freddie Mercury in the Queen movie?

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RIP Alex Karras

Some of you knew Alex Karras as a football player for the Detroit Lions. Others knew him from his pro-wrestling days. Lots of people knew him as the dad in Webster. As for me, he’ll always be Mongo, the excellent character from the excellent Blazing Saddles. Karras had a remarkable career, entertaining millions of people as an athlete, an actor, and a comedian. He was awesome.

Continue reading “RIP Alex Karras”

Cameron/Tyler Winklevoss to Play Batman?

Once upon a time (2007), Armie Hammer was set to play Batman in a Justice League movie. Unfortunately, that project died. The role was supposed to launch Hammer to stardom. Instead, he’d have to wait until The Social Network in which he impressed critics and fans alike as Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss. After that blockbuster hit, praise for his work in Mirror, Mirror, and a starring role in The Lone Ranger, Hammer might get a second chance to play Batman. According to MovieHole:

The studio need a new guy to guard the cave now that Christian Bale has hung up the cowl. And with plans to reintroduce a younger take on the character in the upcoming “Justice League” movie, a draft of which has been completed by Will Beale, the studio has Hammer atop of their list of potentials. It’s really, when you think about it, a no-brainer. Thus, I wasn’t much surprised when informed this morning that he’s in with a good chance to play the part in the superhero tag-team movie.

It’s a win win, really. Hammer apparently wears the suit smartly, has already rehearsed for the gig before, but more so, is a much bigger star than he was three or four years ago.

Hammer is a big, strapping dude that has a naturally deep voice. He looks the part. He has played rich people and heroes. I think he can pull off Batman (without sounding like he has marbled in his mouth).

What do you think of the possibility of Armie Hammer playing Batman in the upcoming Justice League movie?

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Emily Blunt To Play Ms. Marvel in Avengers 2?

Super sexy Emily Blunt is rumored to be in the running for the role of Carol Danvers/Ms. Marvel in The Avengers 2. Once a C-lister in the Marvel Universe, Ms. Marvel has been a major player since the “House of M” storyline. She has been a big part of the New Avengers and Mighty Avengers series. Sadly, she has gotten rid of her ridiculous swimsuit-like costume to coincide with her name change to Captain Marvel. As for Blunt, here’s more from iO9:

Emily Blunt, who famously missed out on the role of Black Widow in Iron Man 2 — insofar as any Emily Blunt casting decision is really capable of attaining fame — is reportedly back in contention for a major role. Specifically, she is rumored to be one of two main contenders for the part of Carol Danvers, better known as Ms. Marvel.

I’m a big fan of Blunt. She’s beautiful, smart, talented, and environmentally conscious. That said, I haven’t seen any of her performances where she hasn’t used her native British accent. Carol Danvers is very much an “american pie” type of character. She’s a former United States Air Force officer that has also served with S.H.I.E.L.D. It would be strange to hear her with a British accent. Blunt certainly has the presence for the character and for all I know she has a dynamite American accent from her extensive studies. However, I’m sure that that average male moviegoer doesn’t give a rat’s ass since she’s so pretty.

What do you think of the possibility of Emily Blunt playing Carol Danvers/Ms. Marvel? Me likey.

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Star Wars Eyeglasses Completely Rule!

I was going to save up for Lasik surgery…but then I saw this awesome line of Star Wars eyewear! Check out these eyeglasses inspired by Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, R2-D2, Boba Fett, and more. They completely own. These eyeglasses are set to ship at the end of the month and will run you $499.99. That’s expensive, but totally worth it to have The Force be with you, don’t you agree? More pictures of these awesome Star Wars glasses are below. Continue reading “Star Wars Eyeglasses Completely Rule!”

Adele’s James Bond 007 “Skyfall” Song

Here’s Adele’s “Skyfall” song for the upcoming James Bond 007 of the same name. It features her famous timbre and signature runs while also paying homage to songs from the previous Bond movies. Give the track a listen and let me know what you think (please!). Continue reading “Adele’s James Bond 007 “Skyfall” Song”

The Lone Ranger Trailer

I’m not sure what to make of The Lone Ranger. On paper, it sounds amazing. Johnny Depp is playing Tonto and he’s almost always awesome. The Winklevoss Twins are playing the titular character and I really enjoyed Armie Hammer in The Social Network. I absolutely love the supporting cast — Helena Bonham Carter rules, Barry Pepper is one of my favorites (he rocked as Roger Maris in 61*), and William Fichtner is awesome. This should be an awesome movie, right?

One of the reasons I’m apprehensive is that Gore Verbinski is directing. He can be fantastic, but he can also be all over the place. Modern Westerns are also hit-or-miss with me. That said, I’m not going to bet against the  Bruckheimer/Verbinski/Depp combo. Those guys have generated an ungodly amount of money together.

Any thoughts on The Lone Ranger?

A Good Day to Die Hard Trailer

Bruce Willis is back as John McClane and this time around he’s on a father-and-son adventure in Moscow. Thankfully, Shia LeBeouf isn’t playing his son. Instead, it’s one of the dudes from Spartacus: Vengeance, Jai Courtney. A Good Day to Die Hard comes out on Valentine’s Day 2013 because…hell, I don’t know. Check out the trailer and let me know if you’re up for another John McClane gun-blazing adventure or if this series died (hard) for you a long time ago.

Tom Hanks Sees Emmy in Olivia Munn’s Future?!?

My nightmare of Olivia Munn becoming the biggest star in America continues! This time around, the legendary Tom Hanks told the girl formerly known as Lisa that an Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Emmy Award is in her future. Check out the Entertainment Tonight video below and please let me know if you think Hanks was being serious, being polite, or being patronizing. Whatever the case may be, the cameraman was totally on point trying to brush off Bolivia Bunn for the exponentially more interesting and talented Tom Hanks. Continue reading “Tom Hanks Sees Emmy in Olivia Munn’s Future?!?”