What If…Thor Played Hulk Hogan?!?

A Hulk Hogan biopic is inevitable, but who in the world would be able to portray him on the silver screen? What actor has the combination of muscles, mass, and charisma to play the man that changed pro-wrestling forever and for better? If Hulk Hogan had his way, it would be Chris Hemsworth training, saying his prayers, and eating his vitamins in a Hulk Hogan movie. In an interview with the Canadian Press, the Hulkster said:

I think we need a serious, serious actor that knows what he’s doing. You know who I thought would be good? That guy that did that action movie, Thor (Chris Hemsworth).

I love it! Hemsworth has the charm and the physique to pull off Hulk Hogan. However, I wonder if he can mask his Australian accent while doing over-the-top promos in an American voice. I also wonder if comics fans that are wrestling marks will be able to block out memories of Hemsworth’s role as Thor while seeing him play Hulk Hogan. It would certainly be difficult for me. In my head, I see a mashup going something like this:

Wucha going to do, brother?!? When the largest arms in Asgard run wild on you?!?

And also:

Well you know mean Loki, Mjolnir is the mightiest hammer in the world, brother! And there’s no way Andre the Frost Giant can wield it, brother!

So what do you think of the idea of Chris Hemsworth playing Hulk Hogan?

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Charles Dance to Star in Witcher 3

CD Projekt RED has announced that Charles Dance will voice the Emperor of Nilfgaard in Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. This is completely awesome. Why is this completely awesome? Because Charles Dance is completely awesome! That’s why. In recent years, fantasy nerds have marveled at Dance’s portrayal of Tywin Lannister in HBO’s Game of Thrones. While he has been brilliant as that character, Dance’s brilliance to the nerd community goes back a long ways. Many of you RPadholics know and love Dance from The Golden Child, in which he played Sardo Numspa (Brother Numsie!). Lastly, Dance completely owned in Last Acton Hero as Benedict, one of the coolest bad guys to grace the silver screen.

I was already looking forward to Witcher 3, but now that Sardo Numspa/Benedict/Tywin Lannister has been revealed as one of the game’s voice actor, I want the game even more. To celebrate this awesome news, let’s take a look back at some of Charles Dance’s best scenes.

The Pirate Bay Launches PirateBrowser

The Pirate Bay has launched PirateBrowser, a barebones web browser that helps users reach the popular torrent-file service when using Internet service providers (ISPs) that block it. PirateBrowser is a mix of Firefox, FoxyProxy, and Tor. Here’s the description from the company’s blog:

Do you know any people who can’t access TPB or other torrents-sites because they are blocked? Recommend PirateBrowser to them. It’s a simple one-click browser that circumvents censorship and blockades and makes the site instantly available and accessible. No bundled ad-ware, toolbars or other crap, just a Pre-configured Firefox browser.

While PirateBrowser should unblock The Pirate Bay for many users, it’s important not to mistake it for a product that offers truly anonymous browsing. It’s a potentially useful tool for people that like to…uhm share files, but a good virtual private network (VPN) is the way to go if you want your Internet activity masked from your ISP, the government, nosy martians, etc. Don’t get me wrong. I love that this free product is being offered, but I fear that some people will overestimate its capabilities.

Any of you thinking of giving PirateBrowser a whirl?

Source via BGR

Thor: The Dark World Trailer

Marvel has posted a new trailer for Thor: The Dark World, embedded below for your viewing pleasure. Highlights include Thor being powerful, Natalie Portman being hot, Loki being awesome, Kat Dennings being super hot, lots of fiery destruction, Sif being fiercely hot (though not as hot as Kat Dennings), Volstagg being voluminous, Rene Russo being the fiercest she’s been since Lethal Weapon III, and Mjolnir cementing its status as the coolest hammer ever. Check out the clip below and let me know if it has you amped for Thor: The Dark World.

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Behind the Scenes Feature on Jobs (Ashton Kutcher)

The latest behind-the-scenes feature on the upcoming Jobs movie starring Ashton Kutcher has me wary of the film. Be sure to check out the clip — featuring Kutcher (Steve Jobs) and Josh Gad (Steve Wozniak) — embedded below. On the plus side, Kutcher has Jobs’ awkward strut down (it’s almost like the nerd version of WWE Vince McMahon’s silly duck walk). He looks great as young Steve and looks decent as NeXT-era Steve. As for iPod-era Steve…ouchie. To me, he looked less like Steve Jobs and more like Will Ferrell playing James Lipton on Saturday Night Live. That’s not good.

Speaking of not good, I’m not digging Kutcher’s voice. While it’s true that a limited actor can only do so much to change the sound of his or her voice, cadence is something that can be mimicked. After watching several clips of the feature, it sounds like Kutcher wasn’t even trying. Perhaps I’m expecting too much from the guy from That ’70s Show, but considering his heavy involvement in the tech world and his obvious adoration for Jobs, I thought he would have tried harder.

Let’s be real though. There are many people that find Apple so fascinating that they’re going to see Jobs no matter what. (And yes, I’m one of those people.) How about you? How does the short feature on Jobs make you feel about the movie? Excited, scared, or ready to embrace Android/Windows?

Are You Ready For the Rise of Elizabeth Olsen?

In the Janty RY4 review I posted yesterday, I made an analogy using Elizabeth Olsen, comparing her to the least of the three e-liquids I covered in the story. As I was writing it, I was thinking, “You know, this probably won’t make sense in a year.” For the longest time, Elizabeth “Lizzie” Chase Olsen lived in the shadow of her famous sisters Mary-Kate and Ashley. It’s easy to understand why. A lot of you watched the Olsen twins in Full House and saw them become child celebrities. In recent years, the twins have been a staple for gossip rags (which are strangely fascinated by the alien-like appearances of these young women). I suspect that in a year’s time, Elizabeth will be the primary Olsen sister — at least in the nerd world.

Elizabeth Olsen is set to star in Oldboy and Godzilla. Those are two hugely important movies to the geek chic. I gotta feeling that these movies will take her fame to new heights. It’s entirely possible that these roles will catapult her to stardom and she’ll eclipse her sisters’ accomplishments. She’s already proven to be the most talented actress in the family (not hard, I know) and she’s arguably the most attractive Olsen sibling. With the help of the nerd elite, I believe that the rise of Elizabeth Olsen is imminent.

What do you guys and dolls think? Is Elizabeth Olsen set to take away the spotlight from Mary-Kate and Ashley?

Random Thoughts on The Wolverine

After the terribly uneven X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Marvel’s most famous mutant needed a kick to the X-gene. For the most part, he gets that in The Wolverine. Based (very) loosely on Chris Claremont’s highly regarded 1982 Wolverine miniseries, this movie focuses on Logan’s activities in Japan — one of the most fascinating aspects of the character. The action is fantastic and the good guys turn in solid performance, but the movie is limited by its villains. Read on for some random thoughts on The Wolverine.

Huge Jackman: Hugh Jackman is back and he’s bigger than ever. Seriously. Dude is frickin’ ripped. At this point, it’s difficult to imagine anyone else playing Wolverine. Yes, a chunk of the portrayal involves large periods of brow furrowing and screaming (“Grrrrrrr!!!” “Arrrrghhh!!!” “Raawwwrrr!!!”), but for many people Jackman is Wolverine. He’s very good at playing this character and it’s fun watching him be “the best at what he does.” That said, I dream about Jackman mashing up his X-Men and Oklahoma experiences. Watching Wolverine sing “The Surrey With the Fringe on Top” would be awesome.

Amazing Action: Some of the fight scenes in the movie are just brilliant. The action sequence on top of a bullet train will take your breath away. The post-funeral chasing and fighting early in the movie is fantastic. Wolverine and company vs. ninjas is always a good time. The movie is at its best when Logan is slicing and dicing nameless minions. It’s awesome adamantium-laced fun.

Impressive Newcomers: Relatively inexperienced actors Tao Okamoto (Mariko Yashida) and Rila Fukushima (Yukio) are quite charming in the movie. It’s nice to see movie damsels that are more than distressed beauties. Both women play characters that are capable and powerful. It would have been nice if Fukushima had the opportunity to crank Yukio up to 11 (the script’s fault, not hers). Her version of Yukio is quirky and eccentric. To me, Yukio is reckless to the point where you question her sanity. Fukushima could have rocked a borderline insane Yukio, but did well with the cute, quirky, and fierce version.

Famke Flashbacks: The movie had several dream sequences featuring Jean Grey. They were mostly unnecessary, but I’m all for scenes with Famke Janssen in lingerie. She’s the tall Dutch cougar of my dreams.

Japanese People in Japan: 20 years ago, this movie would have been full of caucasian actors. I love that we’re at the point where a Hollywood movie set in Japan has a cast full of Japanese people.

Unnecessary Roughness: The movie has a lot of needless gymnastics — dynamic moves that are made for the sake of looking cool. There was this one moment that was so bad that it pulled me out of the movie and made me laugh. A ninja performed a midair cartwheel that took him from one side of a doorway to the other. After landing, he closed the door. WTF?!? He could have accomplished the same thing and expended less energy by, you know, walking.

Viper Sucks: My biggest problem with the movie was Viper. As a comic-book nerd, I hated the changes made to this character. Why give her mutant powers? Why is she peeling off her skin for no reason? Why does she have a mid-fight monologue that explains her capabilities? The bigger and more universal problem was that the actress was horrible. Svetlana Khodchenkova’s acting was so terrible that it was distracting. She made Olivia Munn look like Meryl Streep. Many of her scenes pulled me out of the movie and left me thinking, “Wow. You suck.”

On a completely immature note, I was also distracted by her beauty mark. I was hoping for a scene where Wolverine went all Austin Powers on her, poked her beauty mark with one of his claws, and shouted, “Moley moley moley moley!” That would have made Khodchenkova’s crappy acting worth enduring.

Anticlimax: So Viper sucked and secret character was kind of a dull villain. Both of them would have worked better as supporting villains. Instead, secret villain man bastardizes the Silver Samurai character and constructs a giant adamantium suit of samurai armor. It’s like he watched Thor, was inspired by the Destroyer, and thought, “Hey, I have this huge stockpile of adamantium. That Destroyer thing was cool. Know what else would be cool?” Since the villains weren’t very good, the movie’s climax wasn’t all the climactic. It’s hard to get excited about the big face-off against the baddies when the baddies are tepid.

Verdict: The Wolverine was lots of fun for the first 3/4 of the movie. The action scenes against nameless ninja minions were highly entertaining, Jackman is great at playing this character, and the leading ladies were fun (and beautiful). Unfortunately, the movie flattens out at the end because the villains were kind of lame. As a comic-book nerd, I firmly believe that the movie would have been better if it followed the original Claremont plot more closely. Most of the things that went wrong were a result of stupid script adaptations. I definitely enjoyed The Wolverine, but not nearly as much as Star Trek: Into Darkness, Iron Man 3, and Pacific Rim.

If you caught the movie, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it. Kindly share your healing-factor enhanced feelings on The Wolverine in the comments section.

Gran Turismo…the Movie?!?

With the success of the Fast & Furious series, it’s no wonder that movies based on racing-game franchises like Need for Speed are in the works. The latest word is that Sony’s immensely popular Gran Turismo series will be getting the movie treatment too. According to The Wrap, a Gran Turismo movie will be produced by Mike De Luca and Dana Brunetti.

Need for Speed movie makes sense to me. Several games in the series featured a narrative element. Gran Turismo…not so much. Of course the advantage is that a movie based on Gran Turismo is working with a clean slate, while the Need for Speed movie will be compared (fairly and unfairly) to the stories in the games. Still…a Gran Turismo movie?!? That makes as much sense as Hot Wheels: The Movie. Oh wait, that’s happening too. *sigh*

What do you think of Gran Turismo: The Movie? Is it a good idea or a bad idea? Do you have any interest in seeing it? Or are you going to wait for director and actor information? Share your Gran thoughts in the comments section (please!).

Source via Polygon

Coffee Talk #596: Your Favorite Comic-Con 2013 Happenings

Comic-Con 2013 — or as it’s known in some circles, Nerd Heaven — is over! There were tons and tons of geeky announcements, trailers, and news bits. Some of the highlights include:

  •  Man of Steel 2 being a Superman/Batman movie
  • The Avengers 2 being an Age of Ultron movie
  • A lengthy and awesome Kick-Ass 2 trailer
  •  Lots of information on X-Men: Days of Future Past
  • more

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, A-Rod’s unfortunate (not really) quadriceps injury, your favorite summer fruit, or slogging your way through mediocre coffee beans, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Comic-Con 2013 — or as it’s known in some circles, Nerd Heaven — is over! There were tons and tons of geeky announcements, trailers, and news bits. Some of the highlights include:

  •  Man of Steel 2 being a Superman/Batman movie
  • The Avengers 2 being an Age of Ultron movie
  • A lengthy and awesome Kick-Ass 2 trailer
  •  Lots of information on X-Men: Days of Future Past
  •  Sweet details on The Amazing Spider-Man 2
  •  More footage from Thor 2
  •  More footage from Captain America 2
  •  The first glimpse of WWE Batista as Drax in the Guardians of the Galaxy movie
  •  The trailer for Cosmos, a new version of the excellent Carl Sagan show hosted by Neil de Grasse Tyson
  •  Updates on A Song of Ice and Fire and Game of Thrones season 4

What got your inner nerd fired up at Comic-Con 2013? What got you worried?

As for me, I was totally jazzed by the return of Cosmos and I loved the Kick-Ass 2 clip. I really didn’t like Joss Whedon strongly hinting that Hank Pym will not be part of Ultron’s origin in The Avengers 2. Yeah, there are ways to write around that like altering Ultron’s origin so that it’s an accidental creation by Tony Stark or S.H.I.E.L.D., but as a longtime comic-book nerd, I can’t buy that. The identities of Ultron and Hank Pym are tied together. Yes, I understand that it frees up The Avengers 2 and the upcoming Ant-Man movie, but it just…feels wrong.

Now it’s your turn! Fire away with your Comic-Con 2013 thoughts in the comments section (please!).

Amazing Spider-Man 2 Electro Teaser (Jamie Foxx)

Below is the Comic-Con 2013 teaser trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man 2. You get to see Electro, played by Jamie Foxx, in all of his alternate-current and direct-current glory. Hopefully there will be more Spidey 2 footage unveiled at the show. For now, check out the clip and let me know what you think of the movie version of Electro Continue reading “Amazing Spider-Man 2 Electro Teaser (Jamie Foxx)”