Fast & Furious To End With a New Trilogy

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While I was busy having a spectacular birthday celebration, Vin Diesel posted a Fast & Furious update on Facebook. After scrolling past his goofy face, you’ll see that the legendary thespian wrote, “I promised the studio I would deliver one last Trilogy to end the saga. I will announce the directors on my next post…” So the Fast & Furious crew will definitely be going on one last ride…followed by two more last rides.

Obviously the executives at Universal would love to cash in on three more Fast & Furious movies. Furious 7 raked in a preposterous $1.5-billion. Millions of moviegoers will surely pay for three more Vin Diesel-powered (*snicker*) heist films. Those certainties aside, there are a number of questions that make me wonder about the future of this storied franchise. How do you replace Paul Walker’s mesmerizingly bad acting? I don’t believe that it can be done. The franchise is also running out of permutations of titles that use the words furious and fast (Fast & FuriousFast 5Furious 7, etc.). Will the wordsmiths at Universal be able to conjure up three more catchy movie names without adding another word?

While I’m not sure about the movie titles, there is a possible solution for filling the void left by Paul Walker (as much as it can possibly be filled). Perhaps Michael B Jordan — fresh off his pathetic performance in Fantastic Four — could join the crew. If Jordan can bring a Fantastic Four-level performance and Vin Diesel spends the entire movie indecipherably mumbling then maybe the pair can do a bad enough job to properly honor Walker. The key is tandem acting that’s so bad that it’s practically hypnotic. Between Diesel’s warbling and Jordan bring Jordan, they just may be able to pull it off!

On a more serious note, I love that Diesel managed to slip in the word “family” in his Facebook post. It wouldn’t be Fast & Furious without him muttering about family. On a completely serious note, I will likely pay to see all three films in the Fast & Furious closing trilogy. The franchise is one of my favorite series of dumb movies ever and hitting a tenth film would cement its place in history.

Now, who’s with me?!? What do you want from the last three Fast & Furious films? Who would you like to see direct them? Any suggestions on replacing Paul Walker? Will Universal add another token Asian guy (TAG) to boost the international box? Please leave a comment and let me know.