American Idol 2011 Finals Scotty McCreery vs. Lauren Alaina

The American Idol 2011 finals have come down to two teenage country singers: Lauren Alaina and Scotty McCreery. In my top 10 rankings, I had them pegged at #7 and #6, respectively. Both of them raised their games and made it to the final round. Sadly, filthy pirate hooker Haley Reinhart fell short (after falling on her ass on stage). Who do you think will win American Idol 2011? Kindly vote and discuss.

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As for me, I don’t see how Scotty McCreery — aka Scotty McCreepy — can lose. Sure, he makes amazingly stupid faces and can only sing in one style (“BabyLockThemDoors“), but there are three reasons why I’m certain he’ll win.

  1. A large portion of American Idol voters are teen girls and housewives. They love McCreepy. The young girls are attracted to his “aw shucks!” demeanor and deep voice. The older women are just being pervs.
  2. The last three American Idol winners — David Cook, Kris Allen, and Lee DeWyze — have been dubbed “boring white guys with guitars”. Scotty is also a boring white guy with a guitar. The BWGWG trend is powerful and hard to stop.
  3. Most importantly, the last two¬†American Idol winners look like former videogame journalists. Kris Allen = John Ricciardi (ex-EGM). Lee DeWyze = Patrick Joynt (ex-GameSpy). McCreepy bears an uncanny resemblance to Giant Bomb’s Brad Shoemaker; they’re both fine young boys from North Carolina with disarmingly deep voices. The trend of American Idol winners resembling game journalists will surely continue.

As for Lauren Alaina, she reminds me of a young version of old Beverly D’Angelo. I’m not talking about the young and sexy Beverly. I’m talking about the older and larger cougar Beverly. She comes off as a sweet girl that lacks confidence. I feel bad that some people refer to her as Ceiling Fat and that she’ll likely lose…but not that bad.

Anyway, I’m going with Scotty McCreery as this year’s Idol winner. How about you? Kindly vote and discuss!

Author: RPadTV