Coffee Talk #41: Create Your Own Videogame Beverage!

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, yesterday’s NFL awesomeness, Sergio Martinez vs. Paul Williams, or Tiger Woods’ recent “indiscretions”, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

FFXIII Elixir 3

I’m completely jealous that Japanese gamers have the opportunity to enjoy Final Fantasy XIII Elixir by Suntory. In America, the best videogame soft drink I can enjoy is World of Warcraft Mountain Dew. It’s not nearly the same. Slapping videogame branding on an existing beverage is one thing. Having a beverage maker concoct a new brew just for a game is another. The whole thing got me thinking about videogame beverages I want. Here are a few.

Dragon Age: Origins Darkspawn Blood — This tomato-based beverage might not make you a grey warden, but its numerous vitamins and minerals would give you the morning boost you need to save Ferelden on a weekly basis. Think of it as V8, with a touch of darkness.

Leisure Suit Larry Cialis Cocktail — This drink is part energy enhancer and part male potency provider. Your body will be up for a night on the town thanks to the taurine and the Cialis will make sure your joystick is up for a night in the sack.

Uncharted Filtered Water — When you’re searching for treasure and dodging danger in remote lands, it’s tough to find a pure glass of H2O. This bottled water ensures that you don’t have to worry about parasites and microbes getting in the way of a grand adventure.

Anyway, those are some of the videogame drinks I’ve imagined. I’d love to hear yours. Leave me your excellent elixirs in the comments section (please) — bonus points will be awarded to clever use of alcohol, particularly premium tequila.

Author: RPadTV

33 thoughts on “Coffee Talk #41: Create Your Own Videogame Beverage!”

  1. Wow, that is definitely something you don't see here. Like you said, we get new labels put on existing product. Mountain Dew or Taco Bell putting star wars caricatures on top of cups.

  2. I'll be the first to bring up Nuka-Cola Quantum.

    @ Smartguy

    That feeling you had in your chest yesterday… is what it feels like to be a Steeler fan.

  3. @N8R

    I don't know what it is…but that team matches up very well with our team every year we play them. This is the 3rd year in a row and the first time we have beat them. Their guys just match up well I guess.

    Oh well…12-0!! Woot.

  4. @ R Pad

    The grossest canned beverage I've ever seen was Budweiser and clamato. My brother was in town and had to buy a can just to take back to Pittsburgh and show his friends what an Arco station in SoCal can offer.

    My spell check won't even accept clamato… because it shouldn't exist.

    @ Smartguy

    I was shocked. That game went to the wire. After the Steeler game (sigh), I was at least happy to see that the Saints were struggling with a sub-par team as well.

  5. From the game Moon Walker………………………………..


    ……………………………………………………….Jesus Juice

  6. And the Pats got smacked, I hope they don't make the playoffs.

    Colts vs Saints in Super Bowl hopefully.

  7. Pats did get smacked by the fins… that was awesome. But they didn't get smacked half as hard as …

    @ RROD

    The Falcons!

    Vick knows that house I suppose.

  8. They could always sell Crunchy Chicks from Fable. Make is out of that marshmallow stuff with the yellow candy on top. Bonus points if they can make it squeak the first time you bite into it.

  9. @N8R I saw that Clamato/Budweiser monstrosity at my neighborhood deli in San Francisco. I don't think anyone ever bought it. That's probably the second strangest canned product I've ever seen, outdone only by this can of "100 Percent All Natural Canned Bread" that I saw. There's nothing natural about canned bread.

  10. @ R Pad

    I was telling this guy I know about it once (and he's a weird guy to begin with) when he said "That stuff is great for hangovers".

    I was too repulsed to ask him more about it, and I also don't experience hangovers. So whether or not he's right is up in the air.

  11. @N8R – I liked the Nuka Quantum idea. Ray had a couple of good ones too. I heard the Mt dew gamer fuel or Halo flavor was good though. I haven't had Mt dew in a long time though

  12. @N8R

    I expected us to lose without Matt Ryan and Micheal Turner but not THAT bad. Vick just earned a starting job somewhere next year.

  13. @Beverage –

    1) San Andreas Skank-Aid – I don't know what it's made of…. and neither will you. However, this mystery in a can goes perfectly with your Mystery in a Blue Dress when you pick her up from your nearest corner and driver her into a Mystery Alley to do the deed… and then gut her and take back the money you spent on her and this horrid drink.

    2) Lemming Lemonade – A new flavor from the makers of Jim Jones Kool-aid.

    3) Dr. Ned's Every Flavor Beer – Similar to Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean, but for adults, and incredibly thirst quenching when bounty hunting for randomly dropped loot on a barren wastland of a world. Douse yourself in it to fend off Skrags!

  14. @ Smartguy – that Score by Meachum at the end of the half is the complete difference between a losing team and a winning team. Winners find a way to turn a bad situation into a touchdown, losers find a way to turn an interception from a takeaway to a trunover.

  15. @Ray – Canned Bread may not be natural, but it certainly helps when you need Bread for your Bread Gun!

  16. @LarcenousLaugh Every-flavor beer would be brilliant. Sometimes you want a Guiness, other times you want Newcastle Brown, and other times you want a Boddington's. One bottle to rule them all!

  17. @Tarrec10 i agree about the patriots, definitely hope its the colts ftw.

    @topic i always like seeing those really crappy energy drinks with video game endorsements on them, like super mario energy drink, i think there is a donkey kong one too, maybe a princess peach.

  18. What about Wii Drinking Games?

    Come to think about it, Mario Party might as well be a drinking game.

  19. @N8R Mario Party games, as well as Mario Kart games are definitely drinking game material. Nintendo might as well accept it and move on with production of Nintendo licensed games involving alcohol. Anyone who really thinks that Nintendo is a family game needs to carefully analyze the effects Mario Party 2, GoldenEye, and Mario Kart 64 on college students.

  20. @topic: Yeah, I've got nothing.

    HUGE win for the G-Men yesterday. HUGE. Gotta follow it up with another big win against the Eagles next week to have a chance.

  21. Link's Awakening Energy Drink… for when fairy pixie dust just ain't cutting for you.


    PS- The 'Fins performed admirably, so they are back as my Gravitar. I went to the game yesterday and screamed my @$$ off. The result is a sore throat today and (deluded) hopes for an AFC East title win. My condolences to RROD's Falcons and N8R's Seelers. Cheer up guys, there is always next week.

  22. Poke-quila. 151 different types of tequila, in an opaque package, so you don't know which kind you get. Gotta catch 'em all!

    (bonus points if you catch them all in one sitting. Though, I don't the the hospital takes bonus points as currency for stomach pumpings)

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