Coffee Talk #466: WrestleMania XXVIII Results and Discussion

WWE’s biggest show of the year has come and gone. Now it’s time to break down WrestleMania XXVIII, review our predictions, and discuss the results! RPadholic Iceman was also kind enough to send in some original photos from the event, which I posted below. As a whole, I thought it was a good show that was far from…

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, Ashton Kutcher portraying Steve Jobs, ceramic knives, or Kelly Pavlik on the comeback trail, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

WWE’s biggest show of the year has come and gone. Now it’s time to break down WrestleMania XXVIII, review our predictions, and discuss the results! RPadholic Iceman was also kind enough to send in some original photos from the event. As a whole, I thought it was a good show that was far from great. The second half of the card was much better than the first and there was one match that was severely (and sadly) cut off due to time restrictions. Let’s go down the list!

Sheamus Defeats Daniel Bryan for the World Heavyweight Championship: As I predicted, Sheamus got the win here. What I didn’t predict was the match being cut off for time considerations. I was totally bummed that two young WWE Superstars didn’t get time to shine. Danielson is one of the best pure wrestlers in the world and he rarely gets to show off his skills in WWE. This match — all 20 seconds of it — was completely disappointing.

Kane Beats Randy Orton: I called this one wrong and was surprised that Kane got a clean win. The match was okay, but I don’t get the result. It made Orton look stupid and he needed the push for the rest of 2012.

The Big Show Wins the Intercontinental Championship From Cody Rhodes: This was another match I predicted incorrectly. The result surprised me. Show does not need a minor WWE belt. Rhodes does.

Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos Beat Eve and Beth Phoenix: The good girl team — with the celebrity — won. Of course they did. I was actually impressed with Menounos, who was working with a legit rib injury. She was a trooper! Unfortunately, the match was total filler. I can’t wait for Awesome Kong to come back. Maybe she’ll get the writers to do something interesting with the Divas division.

[nggallery id=92]

The Undertaker Extended His Streak to 20-0 Over Triple H: Of course ‘Taker won! Selling t-shirts that brag about a 20-0 record is easy. 19-1…not so much. This match actually exceeded my expectations. The psychology and storytelling were fantastic. Of course I was thrilled to see “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels as the guest referee; he added a lot to the matches storytelling, given his history with both wrestlers. While it wasn’t a technical classic, there were some cool and brutal spots in this match. Great stuff.

Team Laurinaitis Beats Team Long: Johnny Ace is simply a better TV personality than Teddy Long. This was also the match used to bring the crowd down from Hell in a Cell. In other words, this was when you were supposed to go pee or buy beer from the refreshments stand. Woo woo woo. You know it.

CM Punk Retains the WWE Championship Over Chris Jericho: For me, this was the best match of the night from a wrestling standpoint. The ring work was tight and the psychology was awesome. I love the way Jericho taunted punk. Complementing, “Ask him!!!”, were, “How’s your father, Punk?!?”, and, “Punk, how’s your sister?!?” That said, I still think Punk needs to go into chase mode. He’s getting stale as champion.

The Rock Beats John Cena: I’m still shocked by how this went down. These guys put forth a great effort and put together a very good match. The Rock sold Cena’s moves like crazy. He actually made Cena’s lame STF look believable! While I’m personally happy that The Rock won, I question the booking. What happened to Super Cena?!? How does a guy that can beat three WWE Superstars by himself lose to someone that hasn’t wrestled a match in years? I’m curious to see how Cena is booked now that he was made vulnerable. Do you turn him heel? Or does he cut a brush-off promo similar to how Shawn Michaels brushed off his loss to Hulk Hogan? Does Cena build up to a revenge match next year? While he’s not my favorite wrestler (using the term loosely) in WWE, he’s a promo and merch machine that has carried the company for a long time. I’m curious to see how he’s booked for the rest of the year.

Your WrestleMania XXVIII Predictions (Cena Sucks!!!)

Finally…it’s time for WrestleMania XXVIII!!! Big thanks to RPadholic Iceman for his super-generous offer of bringing me to the biggest show in all of entertainment. Sadly, I did the fiscally responsible thing and chose to stay home instead of witnessing pro-wrestling history. Now back to the script — WWE’s biggest show of the year takes place this weekend and there are loads of great matches on the card. Who do you think will win? Let’s go down the list together and when we’re done, please share your WrestleMania predictions in the comments section…if you smell, what The Ray is cooking.

Team Laurinaitis vs. Team Long: This is the let’s-cram-in-as-many-people-that-deserve-a-WrestleMania-payday match. As a fan of actual wrestling, it really bugged me that the battling general managers received more of a buildup rather than actual wrestlers. I’m going to give Laurinaitis’ team the nod here. Long’s character is just boring. The artist formerly known as Johnny Ace can be a great heel in small doses. For the sake a future programming, Team Laurinaitis should win.

Randy Orton vs. Kane: The “angle” explanation for this match still doesn’t make a ton of sense. In reality, it’s like when Eddie Guerrero and Raymond Stereo Rey Mysterio wrestled each other at WrestleMania; the two didn’t have a real program going on, but trusted each other to make a great match. That’s what’s going on with Orton and Kane, but on a lower level. Orton should get the win here so he can reposition himself as a main-event wrestler for the rest of 2012 while Kane goes back to elevating others.

Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix and Eve: I’m going with the good girls in this one. It’s a throwaway match, but the mainstream guest should win. Man, the thought of a Beth-and-Eve menage sounds awesome. Wait, did I say that out loud?!?

Cody Rhodes vs. The Big Show: Dusty’s son has come a long way and has really developed as a heel. Show is already established. I think Cody gets the win here and furthers Show’s reputation as a WrestleMania joke, but not without some shenanigans.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho: This should be one of the two best matches of the night from a technical perspective. Both of these guys can flat-out go. Jericho has demonstrated that he doesn’t need a belt to get over. However, I think Punk as champion isn’t quite as edgy and entertaining as he once was. This is a tough one to call. I think Punk would be better off chasing a belt for several months. Jericho could be the transitional champion, waiting for Cena and Orton post-WrestleMania. I’ll go with Jericho, but will probably change my mind several times before Sunday.

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus: I can’t be objective about this match at all. I’m a longtime Bryan Danielson fan and want him to have a long title reign as the “Yes! Yes! Yes!!!” World Heavyweight Champion. Plus, his storyline girlfriend AJ Lee is just about perfect. I hope Danielson gets the win, but I don’t think he will. Sheamus is simply more marketable. The good news is that this match has a ton of potential to be the show-stealer.

The Undertaker vs. Triple H: Unless Hunter gets caught up in narcissistic rage and books himself to win, it makes no sense for ‘Taker’s streak to end. 20-0, with some possible interference from “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels. Damn I miss that guy….

The Rock vs. John Cena: I don’t see why you’d give The Rock a victory here. Yes, he played football in Miami and he’s slated to appear at WrestleMania XXIX, but I don’t think you put him over a full-time wrestler. Although I greatly prefer The Rock over Cena, you have to book the guy that actually wrestles on a weekly basis as the winner. Then again, I’ve been hearing rumors of The Miz interfering, causing Cena to lose (while protecting his stature) and setting up a Miz vs. Cena program…which is kind of weird because six weeks ago I was hearing that management hasn’t been happy with The Miz and was pushing him out. *shrug*

Anyway, the final match of WrestleMania always ends with the face winning so that the crowd can go home happy. The problem here is that both of these guys appeal to different parts of the audience. Do you send the smarks and older fans home happy (Rock)? Or do you make sure the women and children leave with smiles on their faces (Cena)?

Watch Chris Jericho’s Return to WWE Raw!

Here’s a video clip of Chris Jericho’s return to the WWE on last night’s episode of Raw. It was unusual and brilliant at the same time. Let’s talk about the unusual part first. Jericho, one of the best talkers the WWE has had in the last decade, didn’t say much. He soaked up the cheers, played the crowd, and smiled in an exaggerated way. Every now and then he screamed Come on baby!!!” and “Yeah!!!”, but he didn’t say anything substantive. Everyone was expecting one of his classic promos, but it never came.

His return was just genius. He completely played the live crowd and the television audience. People are going to be tuning in next week to see what he’s all about. It was a fantastic swerve that nobody could have predicted.

While I’m sure that he was genuinely excited to perform in front of a WWE crowd again, I’m going to guess that the smiling was disingenuous as far as his character is concerned. I can see him berating the crowd next week for cheering him like a returning hero. He’ll mock them for reacting to his return that way when he thinks they’re all hypocrites, parasites, sycophants, and gelatinous tapeworms.

Then again, maybe he won’t. Jericho’s return has people wondering what will happen next and his character has an awesome unpredictability that should be milked. I don’t know where he’s going with this run, but I can’t wait to find out.

What did you think of Chris Jericho’s return to WWE Monday Night Raw?

Chris Jericho Returning on Tonight’s WWE Raw?

For the last couple of months WWE has been teasing the return of a “mystery” WWE Superstar. Several sources believe that Chris Jericho will be making his return to pro-wrestling in tonight’s Monday Night Raw. What do you think? Is “the best in the world at what he does” coming back? Or will it be someone else? (I’m hoping for Festus…just kidding.)

Certainly WWE would be better with Jericho. He’s an established star that’s absolute money on the microphone and strong in the ring. Jericho setting the tone for WWE in 2012 would be fantastic. That said, the next few months are sure to be dominated by John Cena vs. The Rock. If Jericho is coming back, wouldn’t it be better to have him return after WrestleMania in a (mostly) Rock-free WWE?

Anyway, please let me know if you think the mystery WWE Superstar is Chris Jericho. If you think it is, are you excited by his return? If not, who do you think is coming back?

RPad.tv Chick Magnet: Nightshade’s WWF IC Belt

Haven’t done one of these in a while. If you guys and gals still have your magnets, please send in some holiday-themed photos if you have the chance. For now, please enjoy this excellent picture from RPadholic nightshade386. He put his magnet on a classic WWF — not WWE! — Intercontinental Championship! The Honky Tonk man would be proud.

Coffee Talk #434: Totally Marking Out For WWE!!!

I’m totally marking out for WWE programming right now. This has been my favorite period of WWE television since Shawn Michaels retired. A guy that used Twitter to get over and two guys I watched with dozens of other people at Ring of Honor…

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, random people paying off random layaway accounts at K-Mart, Rudolph vs. Frosty, or Intelligentsia’s Colombia La Loma, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

I’m totally marking out for WWE programming right now. This has been my favorite period of WWE television since Shawn Michaels retired. A guy that used Twitter to get over and two guys I watched with dozens of other people at Ring of Honor shows are holding championship belts. I love that three guys that work hard and genuinely connect with fans are getting pushed by WWE. While I have an aching suspicion that at least one of the three championship reigns will be short, I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts. Join me as I reflect on three of the current WWE champions.

Zack Ryder United States Champion: I wrote a bit about the crazy phenomenon of Ryder a few weeks ago. As an Internet nerd, I have to give it up to a guy that used Twitter outreach and YouTube videos to connect with fans. I completely respect and admire what he did; WWE management wasn’t giving him an opportunity to shine, so he took matters into his own hands and created his own success. While I’m happy for Ryder, it’s not the same level of excitement I feel for the next two champions.

CM PUNK WWE Champion: I know that a few of you are down on Punk because of his size, but you can’t question his in-ring ability or deny the fact that he has cut the best promos in WWE all year. As you probably know, I’m partial to Ring of Honor alumni and love when those guys do well in bigger companies. Punk also gets mad bonus points for posing with some of my Pokemon dolls for a Games Radar article I did back in the day. I love that my photos of Punk and my Pokemon are on the first page of Google results when you do an image search for “CM Punk”.

Punk is just a great wrestler that has worked hard to get one of the top spots in the business. I think it’s great that he’s old school. I love that he prefers the term “pro-wrestling” over “sports entertainment”. It was nice that he wore a Randy Savage outfit and started incorporating  Savage’s elbow drop shortly after Macho Man passed away. Even though I generally don’t trust people who drink, I think Punk is awesome. He’s my second-favorite straight-edge person.

Daniel Bryan World Heavyweight Champion: Before WWE re-branded him as Daniel Bryan, Bryan Danielson was one of my favorite Ring of Honor wrestlers. I believe he’s one of the top three wrestlers in WWE today. His game is just so diverse, mixing outstanding mat wrestling, high-flying moves, and modern MMA twists. Yeah, he’s still finding his way on the mic, but he’s getting a lot better (something John Morrison never did). More importantly, his wrestling is so good that fans connect with him and want to see him do well. It’s weird seeing him (fake) tan and wearing more black than red these days, but he’ll always be “The American Dragon” Bryan Danielson to me — one of the best wrestlers I’ve seen live.

I love the photo above from CM Punk’s Twitter feed. Seeing Punk and Danielson with the two major WWE straps gives me warm fuzzies. It’s great seeing two guys that are superiors wrestlers make it to the top. It’s sweet that two guys that have known each other for more than a decade and have wrestled in hundreds of high-school gyms are headlining shows that are watched by millions of people. In many ways, the photo reminds me of when Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit held those belts. Similar to how Punk and Danielson made their way through the indie scene together, Guerrero and Benoit went from ECW to WCW to WWE together. The two were also great wrestlers that were on the small side. When Benoit and Guerrero were celebrating with their titles at WrestleMania XX, I remember thinking, “Damn. That’s a lot of confetti,” and also, “It feels nice to see that the right guys have the belts.”

Sadly, I don’t have a ton of faith in WWE creative to leave the strap on Danielson. Hell, he only has it now because Mark Henry suffered a groin injury and they had to quickly rewrite the match. It’s too early to tell, but I fear he’ll just be a transitional champion.

I don’t know how long these three WWE Superstars will keep their championships, but it’s great to see that, once again, the right guys have won.

Today’s Poll: Tebow vs. ‘Taker at WrestleMania XXVIII

I had a vision recently. I saw The Undertaker’s legendary WrestleMania streak end. I saw The Dead Man lose to a Holy Man at WrestleMania XXVIII. Of course I’m talking about Tim Tebow. Never mind that the Denver Broncos’ winning streak came to end yesterday. Tebow has the power of light! He’s the world’s only hope against The Undertaker’s dark dominance of WrestleMania.

If Tebow vs. ‘Taker went down at WrestleMania XXVIII, how do you think it would go down? Kindly vote in today’s poll and describe the match you see in your head in the comments section.

[poll id=”142″]

Are You Ready For WWE Network? Would You Subscribe?

WWE has revealed more details on the upcoming WWE Network. The most recent teaser video shows that programming will be a mix of live events, classic matches, and reality shows. I’m especially excited by the prospect of watching legendary matches from the NWA, WCW, and WCCW days. Sports Business Journal Daily claims that WWE Network will launch on April 1, 2012 — the same day as WrestleMania XXVIII — and that most PPV shows will be moving to the network.

Although I’m not into reality television and I was never too into Tough Enough, I’m intrigued by the Legends’ House show. In my head, making anyone live with the Iron Sheik will result in hilarity. Abdullah the Butcher would also be an interesting roommate. Mae Young would be the den mother, of course. Making WWE Legends live with each other and filming it sounds like it could be fun, especially if the show focuses on Iron Sheik ranting about making people humble.

I’m also curious about the pricing. Will it be part of a channel bundle? Or will it be a premium network? Let’s assume the latter. As an example, my crap-bag provider Time Warner Cable charges $20 a month for every flavor of HBO and Cinemax combined. Let’s say WWE is in that price range and it costs $10 to $15 per month. Even though that’s only one channel, it’s still cheaper than paying $45 a month for PPVs.

I’m still waiting for more details, but I’m pretty sure I’m on the hook for WWE Network. Between the classic matches and “most” PPV events, the cost will be worth it to me. Legends’ House could end up being a pleasant surprise. How about you? Are you interested in the channel? Are you a potential WWE Network subscriber?

The Phenomenon of Zack Ryder

I’m truly amazed by the rise of WWE Zack Ryder. He went from one of Edge’s two indistinguishable sidekicks to one of the most over wrestlers in WWE today. The crowd reactions he has been getting for the last few months have been phenomenal. The amazing part is that it wasn’t an outstanding match or a strong push by corporate that got Ryder over. It was his sharp use of YouTube and Twitter.

Ryder wasn’t getting enough match time to show what he could do in the ring. He also wasn’t getting great material to work with from WWE’s writers. He took the initiative to develop his character through a series of YouTube videos called Z! True Long Island Story and reach out to fans via Twitter. It completely worked. The fans connected with him, probably because it’s easy to see how much he cares and how badly he wants to succeed. He took his character to a new level with YouTube in a way that WWE television wouldn’t allow. It’s a great success story that shows how powerful social networking services can be.

What do you think of the Zack Ryder phenomenon? Are you impressed that hard work and social networking has made him one of the most popular WWE Superstars  in 2011? Also, woo woo woo! You know it!!

WWE AJ Lee as Mortal Kombat’s Kitana = Awesome

On the last episode of Monday Night Raw, AJ Lee dressed up as Mortal Kombat’s Kitana during the Divas Battle Royal. She even attempted a fan lift, one of Kitana’s signature moves (it didn’t work). AJ looked sexy and nerdy, solidifying her status as the ultimate woman. Head on over here to see more photo of AJ dressed up as Kitana. So hot!