Random Thoughts on WWE SummerSlam 2012

Last night I was at The Staples Center for WWE SummerSlam 2012. It was a strong show live, but I’m not sure how it came across to fans watching via PPV. What stood out for me was watching Antonio Cesaro (Claudio Castagnoli), Daniel Bryan (Bryan Danielson), and CM Punk (Phil). I loved watching these guys wrestle in Ring of Honor. It’s awesome that they’ve gone from performing in bingo halls and high school gymnasiums to wrestling in huge arenas. Here are some random match-by-match thoughts (not a review!) on SummerSlam 2012.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella: This dark match was free on TV, YouTube, and Facebook. Before the match started, I asked my friend Jose, “Why is this the dark match? We’re darker than both of these guys!” Seriously though, I found it funny that two European wrestlers were fighting for the U.S. Championship. I found it awesome that Cesaro won. It was a decent match that had Santino deliver his comedy spots and Cesaro get in a few solid moves (though not nearly enough “Very European” uppercuts).

Although he hasn’t gotten to show how incredible he is in the ring on WWE TV, this could be the start of an awesome run for Cesaro. Remember, Bryan Danielson wasn’t given enough time to show off his formidable arsenal on WWE TV for like 18 months. Hopefully things move faster for Cesaro. Dude is very tall, very European, and an outstanding wrestler. Signs point to Cesaro and Christian feuding for the U.S. Championship. The matches should be awesome since both guys are strong workers, but it’s funny Cesaro went from wrestling an Italian to wrestling a Canadian for the U.S. strap.

[Jose and I were trying to work the old Claudio Castagnoli gimmick, shouting, “Heeeeeyyyyyy!!!” for much of Cesaro’s offense. It was funny to approximately five people in the audience.]

Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler: The PPV started off with a great match from two great wrestlers. Jericho can work with anyone. Ziggler has always been fantastic at selling and his offense has gotten much smoother over the last few years. The highlight was Ziggler attempting a Jericho-style pin by putting his foot on Jericho, flexing, and yelling, “Come on baby!!!” A lot of people were surprised that Jericho got the win considering that he’s set to tour with Fozzy shortly. For me, it made sense because he hasn’t won much of anything in his latest WWE run. Dolph will get his eventually, but it was important to give Jericho some credibility considering how much he has lost in 2012.

Since this was the first PPV match, many people expected Ziggler to cash in his “Money in the Bank” suitcase later on in the show. It was a bit disappointing that he didn’t. Storyline-wise, he’s demanding a rematch. It looks like he’ll be sending Jericho on the road with a loss before moving onto his World Heavyweight Championship challenge.

[Naturally, Jose and I spent a large portion of the match screaming, “Ask him!!!” We do that for every match, but it’s especially meaningful during Jericho matches. Both of us have this t-shirt too. For Ziggler, we tried to bring back his old Spirit Squad gimmick by shouting, “Nicky!!!”]

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane: The crowd was hot for this match, with plenty of “Yes! Yes! Yes!” and “No! No! No!” chants. It’s awesome that Danielson is getting over like this, but I fear that his comedy act will restrict him to mid-card status. Things started slowly, with Danielson trying to use distance to keep away from the larger Kane. There were some good near-falls and near-submissions too. I’m happy that Danielson got the rub, but I’m kind of annoyed that it looks like these two will have a few more matches. Most of you know that I’m a big Danielson mark. I want to see him move onto bigger and better things. For my money, he’s the best pure wrestler in WWE today.

[Jose kept using “Shades of (insert wrestler here)” lines. When Danielson went for a flying head butt, Jose said, “Shades of Chris Benoit!!!” Things got quiet in the suite, so I asked, “What? Too soon?!?”]

The Miz vs. Raymond Stereo Rey Mysterio: The crowd was surprisingly flat for this match. I was expecting a bigger reaction since Rey hasn’t been back that long and he’s from SoCal. It was a good match, but it felt more like a SmackDown main event rather than a PPV match. Rey wore a Batman mask…but jobbed like King Tut.

[G4tv Blair Herter was in our suite. He’s pals with The Miz from those Real World / Road Rules Challenge shows. Remember when Miz had those “Hello, I’m Awesome” t-shirts that looked like those stickers you write your name on? Blair had a similar business card…like in 2004. I’m convinced that The Miz stole this idea from Blair.]

Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio: Initially, the crowd was flat for this match, but things picked up in the second half. Personally, I couldn’t get into it. This program should have been over a month ago. More importantly, I just don’t like Sheamus as a face. Yeah, I know he’s doing all those anti-bullying commercials, but he’s much better as a bully. Besides, he stole Del Rio’s car. That’s something a bully would do. The match ended with Sheamus pinning Del Rio while the latter’s foot was on the rope. Sheamus quickly got the foot off the rope so the referee couldn’t see it. That’s more bully-like behavior! Unfortunately, it looks like this program will continue until Ziggler is ready for his shot. I know that Sheamus is pals with Triple H in real life, but I much rather have Ziggler as the World Heavyweight Champion.

[When Sheamus wrestles, Jose and I abuse the world “fella”. We yell things like, “He punched him right in the fella!”, “Oh, a kick to the fella box!”, and, “He’s trying to use the fella-nator!”. When you say those things with a bad Irish accent, it’s hilarious.]

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth vs. The Prime Time Players: The WWE doesn’t care about tag teams anymore and has conditioned its fans to not care about tag teams, ergo nobody really cared about this match.

[The best thing about R-Truth matches is making fun of his “What’s Up?!?” song. We would randomly rap to the waiters in the suite, “People getting plates, what’s up?!? When you’re clearing our cups, you say what’s up? What’s up?!? What’s up?!?” You can use this stupid song in countless situations.]

CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. The Big Show: The right guy won the match. Cena has gotten to the point where he doesn’t need belts to get over. It would be terrible if Show had the strap. Punk benefits from having the belt way more than the other two. Some dirt sheets are hating on this match, but I thought it was well done. All three did a great job at playing up the “Triple Threat” angle. What really impressed me was that Show worked the entire match. Most triple threats have one wrestler getting tossed out of the ring for a rest period, changing the action to one-on-one for a bit. Cena and Punk had their rest periods. Show — clearly the wrestler with the worst cardio out of the three — never got a chance to rest and did a great job for a long period of time. It’s not something most fans would notice or care about, but it made me respect Show more as a worker.

[Punk is the coverboy for WWE 13. It would have been…awkward if he lost during a THQ-sponsored weekend. During the press event for the game, there were gift bags with either Sheamus or Cena stuffed toys. All the cool kids took the Sheamus bags…because Cena sucks.]

Brock Lesnar vs. Triple H: The dirt sheets are also hating on this match, but it was very good live. It felt intense (until the end) and the storytelling was good. Lesnar kept working Hunter’s arm, while Triple H kept attacking Lesnar’s midsection (remember, he had diverticulitis). I liked this match…except for the placement. The WWE Championship match should have closed the show. The crowd would have went home happy with Punk’s win. Instead, Triple H’s ego demanded that he was the last thing the crowd saw. It was just strange and awkward to have Hunter apologizing while the crowd chanted, “You tapped out!” He also looks like a dweeb for getting his arm broken twice in one year by Lesnar. As for Brock, it was important for him to get the win. Losing to Cena really cut into his “monster” persona. If the Fruity Pebbles guy can beat a supposed MMA badass…it just looks bad.

[Jose made me spit out my drink when Triple H approached a little boy in the audience to say he was sorry. In a gruff Hunter voice, Jose said, “I’m sorry for tapping out little boy.” The Maker’s Mark shot out of my mouth. The match also had plenty of, “Kick him in the intestine!” and, “Punch him in the colon!” chants from Jose and me when Hunter was on offense.]

Anyway, those are my random thoughts on SummerSlam 2012. Let me know what you thought of the results and the show when you have a chance (please)!

Scooby-Doo Teams Up With WWE Superstars and Divas

RPadholic N8R sent me this link about a Scooby-Doo animated special featuring WWE Superstars and Divas. No, it won’t be a wrestling card featuring matches like Fred vs. Alberto Del Rio, Scrappy-Doo vs. Hornswaggle, or a bikini battle royal that pits Daphne & Velma vs. Beth Phoenix & Eve. Instead, it’s the tried-and-true formula that has worked for hundreds of Scooby-Doo episodes in the past. Here are the details:

WWE Superstars and Divas including Triple H, John Cena, Kane, The Miz, Brodus Clay, Santino Marella, Sin Cara and AJ Lee will appear in animated form and lend their voices to the project. WWE Chairman and CEO Vince McMahon will also lend his voice and appear in animated form.

When Shaggy and Scooby win tickets to WrestleMania, the entire gang travels in the Mystery Machine to WWE City to attend the epic event. However, when a mysterious ghostly bear appears and threatens to ruin the show, Scooby, Shaggy, Velma, Daphne and Fred work with WWE Superstars to solve the case.

I’m guessing it’s Old Man Smithers that’s trying to ruin WrestleMania…or possibly Eric Bischoff.

As a mark for WWE and Scooby-Doo, I’m totally down for this teamup. How about you?

Source

TwitterMania III: Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash

Chris Jericho and Kevin Nash are fighting again, but this time it’s not in the squared circle. This bout (scheduled for one fall?) is taking place on Twitter. It all started with this excellent Grantland article on Nash. A small part of it covers Nash’s dislike of smaller wrestlers (that can actually wrestle). The man formerly known as Diesel / Vinnie Vegas / Master Blaster Steel / Oz said:

When Benoit and Guerrero hugged [at the end of WrestleMania XX], that was the end of the business. Has business been the same since that WrestleMania? Has it come close to the Austin era? Has it come close to the nWo or the Hogan era? You put two fucking guys that were great workers that were the same height as the fucking referees, and I’m sorry, man. Are you going to watch a porno movie with a guy with a three-inch dick? Even if you’re not gay, you will not watch a porno movie with a guy with a three-inch dick. That’s not the standard in porno films. So you put a 5-foot-7 guy as your world champion.

Longtime wrestling fans will recall that Jericho was friends with Benoit and Guerrero. He worked with both in WCW and WWE. Nash’s criticism prompted the following tweet from Jericho:

Naturally, Nash didn’t take kindly to the barb. He responded by calling Jericho a Vince McMahon puppet, as well as poking fun at his elimination from Celebrity Duets:

Jericho retorted by making fun of Nash’s chronic leg problems and calling him the NWO’s third wheel:

I love Twitter for a number of reasons. One of the minor ones is reading these celebrity cat fights. Nash has a point about some pro-wrestling fans preferring larger-than-life characters. A few of you have mentioned not liking guys like CM Punk because he’s small and looks like a normal dude. As for me, I’m totally with Jericho on this one. I love that WWE is pushing smaller guys like Punk and Bryan Danielson — guys that can put together outstanding matches.

Like I said in December 2011, Danielson and Punk holding the major WWE titles reminded me of when Benoit and Guerrero held the straps. “The Hug” was actually one of my favorite moments in WWE history. It was awesome that two talented guys that worked extremely hard were able to reach the top, despite not being the biggest wrestlers on the roster. While I think Nash is fantastic on the mic, a lot of his success was because of his size and his political savvy backstage. I respect what Nash has accomplished in the wrestling business, but I rather pay money to see guys like Danielson instead of some lumbering big-man.

WWE My Favorite Match By Jon Robinson

My pal Jon Robinson has a new book called My Favorite Match: WWE Superstars Tell the Stories of Their Most Memorable Matches. Guess what it’s about? If you said, “I bet it’s about WWE Superstars talking about their most memorable wrestling matches,” then you win today! Seriously though, J-Rob is a great guy and a fantastic writer (you’ve probably read his videogame stories on ESPN.com). Please show him so love and pick up his book, which is available in paperback and on Kindle.

Coffee Talk #501: Your Favorite WWE Raw Moment

Last night was the 1,000th episode of WWE Monday Night Raw. WWE has been cranking out the show since January 1993. There have been so many awesome Raw moments over the last 19 years and I’d love to hear about your favorites. Perhaps you dream about the days when Mr. Perfect put on matches that were…well, perfect. Maybe you long for the “Attitude Era” when “Stone Cold” Steve Austin was king. Some of you probably miss those lovely sing-alongs with The Rock. Please share your favorite WWE moments in the comments section!

As for me, two somber shows were my favorites…

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, exploding DLP bulbs, sexy gymnasts, or Ichiro Suzuki going to the New York Yankees, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Last night was the 1,000th episode of WWE Monday Night Raw. WWE has been cranking out the show since January 1993. There have been so many awesome Raw moments over the last 19 years and I’d love to hear about your favorites. Perhaps you dream about the the days when Mr. Perfect put on matches that were…well, perfect. Maybe you long for the “Attitude Era” when “Stone Cold” Steve Austin was king. Some of you probably miss those lovely sing-alongs with The Rock. Please share your favorite WWE moments in the comments section!

As for me, two somber shows were my favorites. The tributes to Owen Hart and Eddie Guerrero were beautiful. I loved that WWE talent broke character, showed real emotion, and spoke from the heart. The love and admiration the wrestlers had for these two greats…it was just emotional to watch. It made me appreciate all the times they entertained me and appreciate life in general. It was real and raw.

Now it’s your turn! Please share your favorite WWE Monday Night Raw moments.

Coffee Talk #501: Your Favorite WWE Raw Moment

Last night was the 1,000th episode of WWE Monday Night Raw. WWE has been cranking out the show since January 1993. There have been so many awesome Raw moments over the last 19 years and I’d love to hear about your favorites. Perhaps you dream about the days when Mr. Perfect put on matches that were…well, perfect. Maybe you long for the “Attitude Era” when “Stone Cold” Steve Austin was king. Some of you probably miss those lovely sing-alongs with The Rock. Please share your favorite WWE moments in the comments section!

As for me, two somber shows were my favorites…

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, exploding DLP bulbs, sexy gymnasts, or Ichiro Suzuki going to the New York Yankees, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Last night was the 1,000th episode of WWE Monday Night Raw. WWE has been cranking out the show since January 1993. There have been so many awesome Raw moments over the last 19 years and I’d love to hear about your favorites. Perhaps you dream about the the days when Mr. Perfect put on matches that were…well, perfect. Maybe you long for the “Attitude Era” when “Stone Cold” Steve Austin was king. Some of you probably miss those lovely sing-alongs with The Rock. Please share your favorite WWE moments in the comments section!

As for me, two somber shows were my favorites. The tributes to Owen Hart and Eddie Guerrero were beautiful. I loved that WWE talent broke character, showed real emotion, and spoke from the heart. The love and admiration the wrestlers had for these two greats…it was just emotional to watch. It made me appreciate all the times they entertained me and appreciate life in general. It was real and raw.

Now it’s your turn! Please share your favorite WWE Monday Night Raw moments.

Congrats to TNA World Heavyweight Champion Austin Aries!

Roger Federer won Wimbledon. The Yankees beat the Red Sox. Those were sweet happenings, but not as sweet as Austin Aries winning the TNA World Heavyweight Championship! I’m so thrilled, happy, and proud of Aries for reaching to top of TNA. He has been the best part of the company — both in the ring and on the mic — for a long stretch. It’s fantastic to see his hard work and incredible talent rewarded. He totally deserves it. Now please join me in giving it up to A-Double, the vascular vegetarian, and quite possibly the greatest man that ever lived — Austin Aries!!!

WWE Superstars With RPad.TV Chick Magnets

Long, long ago (about two years) in a galaxy far, far away (Los Angeles) several WWE Superstars and a WWE Diva (and my pal Jose) posed with the infamous RPad.TV refrigerator magnet. In the tradition of WWE’s From the Vault series, enjoy these classic photos of WWE Sheamus, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston, Melina Perez, and more. After you’ve perused the photos, please let me know which WWE Superstar rocks the RPad.TV chick magnet the best.

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Coffee Talk #472: “Yes!” vs. “What?” vs. “Ask Him!”

Catchphrases are an important part of professional wrestling. “If you smell what The Rock is cooking,” “That’s the bottom line,” and “To be the man, you’ve got to beat the man,” are phrases we all know and love from pro-wrestlers. Then there are secondary phrases. I’m talking about…

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, United Airlines being ruined by Jeff Smisek, Metta World Peace’s disgusting elbow shot to James Harden, or loving Bobby Valentine’s Red Sox woes, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Catchphrases are an important part of professional wrestling. “If you smell what The Rock is cooking,” “That’s the bottom line,” and “To be the man, you’ve got to beat the man,” are phrases we all know and love because of pro-wrestlers. Then there are secondary phrases. I’m talking about short lines that wrestlers say and fans chant. The recent Daniel Bryan “Yes!” phenomenon got me thinking about these types of sayings.

Of course the greatest secondary catchphrase of all time is Ric Flair’s “Whooooooo!!!” It’s simply awesome. No matter what wrestling company and no matter the size of the crowd, you can always count on hearing “Whooooo!!!” after a knife-edge chop is delivered. That’s amazing and powerful. As for the others, I’m a huge fan of Chris Jericho’s “Ask him!!!”. Steve Austin’s “What?!?” is used (and abused) by millions of fans, even when it’s not appropriate.

Please participate in the battle for the #2 secondary pro-wrestling catchphrase of all time by voting in today’s poll and leaving a comment! If you need a refresher on these catchphrases then check out the videos below before casting your vote.

[poll id=”147″]

Just Say Yes: The Surprising Evolution of Daniel Bryan

As many of you know, I’m a Bryan Danielson mark — have been for a very long time. While I’ve always expected the Daniel Bryan character to succeed in the WWE, I never expected him to succeed the way he has. He’s one of the best wrestlers in the company — the best, in my opinion — but he hasn’t really gotten to show his incredible in-ring skills. Television matches aren’t long enough and getting bumped to an 18-second match at WrestleMania doesn’t help.

To my surprise, Bryan has gotten over as a character. His initial mic work wasn’t great in the WWE and it was never the best part of his game in Ring of Honor. He did a great job as an opportunistic and overzealous World Heavyweight Champion. He would infuriate fans (in that good way) by celebrating disqualification wins and the like by jumping up and down, screaming, “Yes! Yes! Yes! World Heavyweight Champion!!!” The combination of great ring skills, decent emoting, and clever use of a single word has gotten Bryan completely over with the fans. Just look at the video below.

Lately, Bryan has been getting lots of mainstream attention. It’s amusing that it’s largely because mainstream media has noticed tens of thousands of people screaming, “Yes!!!” to a wrestler that got shorted at WrestleMania. I was delighted to see a great Daniel Bryan story on the fantastic Grantland. I was shocked to see a lengthy Daniel Bryan interview on GQ.com. As a longtime Bryan Danielson mark, I look forward to the day when I bump into someone wearing this t-shirt every ten minutes. Will it be awesome? Yes! Yes! Yes!