Tag: Sports

Why is Bruno Mars Singing at Super Bowl XLVIII?!?

The National Football League announced that Bruno Mars will be the featured halftime act at Super Bowl XLVIII. That’s right, for the Super Bowl in New Jersey, the NFL signed that dude from Hawaii to sing. Last time I checked, Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi are alive and able to perform. Wouldn’t it have made exponentially more sense to get a legendary New Jersey act to perform at Super Bowl XLVIII?

Don’t get me wrong. I totally respect Bruno Mars. The man has an amazing voice and sings some catchy tunes. He has an impish appearance that most Americans find non-threatening. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it’s that America accepts non-threatening brown people far easier than say…Chris Brown people.

I’m sure that the Bruno Mars Super Bowl XLVIII halftime show will be good, at the very least. His music is popular and he can put on a flashy show. Plus, the kids love his goofy hats. Since the death of Don Ho, Bruno Mars has been Hawaii’s pride and joy — much respect for that. My brother is a musician in Hawaii and from talking with him, I get the sense of how proud the locals are of Bruno Mars. That said, I have to dock him a coolness point for investing in a crappy e-cig company instead of a good one.

Anyway, here’s a clip from the official announcement for those of you not familiar with Bruno Mars:

Bruno Mars is a critically acclaimed singer, songwriter, producer and musician. The 14-time Grammy Award nominee and Grammy winner has sold over 115 million singles worldwide. His current album Unorthodox Jukebox and his debut album Doo-Wops & Hooligans have a combined certification total of 60x platinum worldwide. According to Billboard, Mars scored his first five “Hot 100” No. 1s faster than any male since Elvis Presley. As a singer, songwriter and producer, Mars has an impressive catalog of 22 “Hot 100” hits. Currently, Bruno Mars and his eight-piece band The Hooligans are on a sold-out, 91-city world arena tour.

Help me understand why the NFL chose Bruno Mars to sing at Super Bowl XLVIII (please)!

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ESPN’s Stunning Analysis of James Harden

The other day I was reading an ESPN.com roundtable on NBA shooting guards. I was absolutely floored by something Graydon Gordian from 48 Minutes From Hell wrote about Houston Rockets guard James Harden. Check it out:

Harden is only 23 years old. In five years he’ll be 28.

This is a stunning revelation. I’m so grateful that Gordian provided this information to me and millions of ESPN readers. Clearly he understands that America is getting dumber, particularly in math and science. He saved ESPN readers from having to waste minutes on computing a complex calculation with their fingers. Gordian’s analysis shows, once again, why ESPN is the worldwide leader in sports.

Ha! Seriously though, it’s a fun article, but those two sentences killed me.

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A-Rod, You’re the Best!

My buddy Justin posted this Alex Rodriguez highlight reel set Joe Esposito’s “You’re the Best” (the tournament montage song in Karate Kid). It’s pretty much the best A-Rod highlight video ever made. (And I’m not just saying that because of his stubborn refusal to donate $500,000 to RPad.TV.) Check it out below. Continue reading “A-Rod, You’re the Best!”

How Long Will Alex Rodriguez Be Suspended For?

It should be a glorious day for fans of True Yankees™. Today is (supposedly) the day that Major League Baseball doles out suspensions for performance-enhancing drug use tied to the Biogenesis clinic. New York Yankees village idiot and third-baseman Alex Rodriguez should be getting more than the standard 50-game suspension. Estimates range from 150 games to a lifetime ban.

In addition to using PEDs supplied by Biogenesis, Rodriguez is (supposedly) getting extra punishment for interfering with MLB’s investigation and recruiting other players to the clinic.

One consistent rumor is that A-Fraud’s team is negotiating with MLB, but the two sides are far apart. Allegedly, commissioner Bud Selig wants A-Roid out of the game until the 2015 season, but the player’s camp believes that’s too harsh. Personally, I hope he gets banished to Neptune.

How long do you think Alex Rodriguez will be suspended for? What do you think is a fair punishment? Wouldn’t it be cool if the Yankees could trade Rodriguez to a Japanese team for several crates of ramen? Hopefully Selig’s ban-hammer is more powerful than Mjolnir!

Texas Rangers Matt Garza Attacks Opponent’s Wife…on Twitter

Texas Rangers pitcher Matt Garza is known for his fiery competitiveness. Against the Oakland A’s last Saturday, he was…displeased when opposing pitcher Eric Sogard laid down a squeeze bunt on him in the 7th. It was Sogard’s second successful bunt of the game and one of several made by Oakland. Garza pretty much sucks at fielding bunts and was frustrated. After the game, he took to Twitter to lay into Sogard and his wife, Kaycee Sogard. Check out some of his rant in the image above.

Yesterday, he issued an apologetic statement that wasn’t much of an apology. Here’s a snippet via ESPN:

I let my competitive spirit cross outside the lines, and that shouldn’t happen. I let my passion, my fire carry over, and that’s not how this game should be played. And for that I apologize to the Sogards for anything that was said through my Twitter.

Misogynistic tweets aside, there are several things that are funny/sad about this. First, it’s amusing that Garza believes that competitive spirit, passion, and fire are reasons to act like an immature dick. Second, it’s hilarious that he feels so macho about blasting an opponent’s wife on social media. I’m sure all of you have encountered Internet tough guys over the years, but a professional athlete that’s an Internet tough guy picking on a woman?!? That’s just lame.

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Ryan Braun Suspended Without Pay For PED Use

Do you smell that? It smells like something is burning…. It’s Milwaukee Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun’s pants! They’re on fire because he’s a big liar. (This joke works much better when you look at this story’s featured image.) After denying the use of performance-enhancing drugs and blaming a positive test on specimen collector Dino Laurenzi, Jr., Braun has proven to be a liar and a cheater. According to ESPN, Major League Baseball has suspended Braun for the rest of the year without pay for a violation of the sport’s Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program.

We’ve discussed PEDs in sports back in February and PED abuse in baseball last month. How do you feel about Ryan Braun’s suspension? Are you surprised? Is the punishment too harsh, too lenient, or just right? Most importantly, any chance that scumbag Alex Rodriguez gets suspended soon (like Braun, A-Rod was a Biogenesis client) or maybe deported to Uranus? Kindly share your performance-enhanced feelings in the comments section!

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WWE Gene Snitsky is an Alex Rodriguez Bodyguard

Remember WWE wrestler Gene Snitsky? His pro-wrestling achievements include punting a (fake) baby, harassing WWE Divas to satisfy his foot fetish, engaging in homoerotic promos with John Heidenreich, and having yellow teeth. He left all that behind to become one of the bodyguards for New York Yankees team idiot third-baseman Alex Rodriguez. According to The Star-Ledger, Snitsky is part of A-Roid’s five-man security detail.

This makes perfect sense to me. More than any other player in Major League Baseball, Alex Rodriguez has the most in common with a pro-wrestling heel. I’m not talking about a dastardly heel or a menacing heel either. A-Rod is 100-percent chickensh*t heel. Like most wrestling villains of this nature, he needs a monster for backup. Of course he’d employ a former WWE monster as his bodyguard. Of course.

Just for kicks, here are a pair of Snitsky’s greatest hits.

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Enter Sandman: Mariano Rivera’s Entrance to the 2013 MLB All-Star Game

Despite its ridiculously long season, performance-enhancing drug scandals, and the general existence of Alex Rodriguez, Major League Baseball has moments that make you remember why it’s America’s pastime. Last night’s All-Star game had one of those moments. It was awesome that the AL and NL all-stars let Mariano Rivera take the field by himself. It was brilliant watching him soak up cheers from fans, players, and coaches alike. It was a truly great homage to a truly great baseball player Continue reading “Enter Sandman: Mariano Rivera’s Entrance to the 2013 MLB All-Star Game”

When Kobe Unfollowed Dwight on Twitter

There are many things that I love about social media. It’s awesome how it connects people. It’s great that it gives fans a way to interact with celebrities. It’s also amusing to see it used when friendships go sour. In the San Francisco Bay Area tech community, it was common for squabbling people to unfollow each other on Twitter or defriend each other on Facebook. It’s brilliant that professional athletes are doing the same thing.

As many of you know, Dwight Howard left the Los Angeles Lakers for the Houston Rockets. Shortly after the news broke, Laker legend Kobe Bryant unfollowed Howard on Twitter. That’s frickin’ awesome! It’s such a nerdy way to make a statement. I love it!!! There are many ways to read into the situation. Some are dismissing it as pettiness on Bryant’s part. Others believe that it’s a way for one of the most insanely competitive players in the NBA to tell another player that he doesn’t matter anymore.

What’s your take on Kobe Bryant unfollowing Dwight Howard on Twitter?