Over the weekend, I caught up on a bunch of movies I’ve been meaning to see. All three featured protagonists that are old and washed up. I’m hoping that the choices were a coincidence, but I fear that these movies reflect my current state of mind. Ha! Anyway, here are a bunch of thoughts on Skyfall, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and Here Comes the Boom.
Skyfall: I was supposed to attend a screening for this, but don’t remember why I missed it. That’s a regret. This movie has everything I want from a James Bond film — fantastic action, beautiful women, slick cars, and charmingly goofy lines. While I’ve been impressed with Daniel Craig’s run as Bond, Judi Dench and Javier Bardem rocked in this movie. Craig was very good, but his costars were great. Dench blended fierceness and vulnerability perfectly, while Bardem rocketed to the top of my list of favorite Bond villains. The only problem I had with the film was Ralph Fiennes. Whenever I saw him, I thought he was going to perform the cruciatus curse on Bond. That Voldemort hangup is totally on me and not the actor or the movie.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: I remember this movie getting tepid reviews, but I enjoyed it. It’s not as good as the first three Indiana Jones films, but it has some nice moments. Part of it was nostalgia; it was nice seeing Indy and Marion together again. Karen Allen is old, but her smile is still captivating and I dig her rapport with Harrison Ford (though I was hoping Starman would pop up to form a love triangle). Cate Blanchett makes a fetching Russian communist. I had visions of her sexily saying, “Stupid moose and squirrel,” as she stood over me in bed holding a riding crop. The action sequences — the bread-and-butter of these movies — were thrilling and laced with nice comedic moments. Normally, that Shawn LeBeef kid bugs me, but I didn’t mind him here. Yeah, the movie felt formulaic at times, but it’s a fun formula.
Here Comes the Boom: This was clearly the worst movie of the three, but I have the most to say about it. The premise seemed absurd to me and I wanted to see if Kevin James could make me believe he was an MMA fighter. He didn’t. BUT, the movie almost comes together for four reason.
- Neil Diamond — “Holly Holy” plays an important of the movie. Lord Neil is one of the few deities walking among us mere mortals. The musical choices are rounded out by a scene featuring “Faithfully” by Journey.
- Kevin James — As an overweight and charming comedian that writes, the guy is pretty much my role model. Seriously though, he has charisma and there are well-written lines of comedic dialogue sprinkled through this mess.
- Henry Winkler — The Fonz is awesome at making mediocre and bad material hilarious. He definitely got the most out of this role. I can’t think of many people that would have been as good.
- Bas Rutten — This was the huge surprise here. El Guapo was frickin’ hilarious. I had to tweet him after I saw the movie and the MMA legend wrote back! He had unexpectedly great timing and delivery. I hope he does more physical comedies in the future, because I think he’d do well (you know, before joining the cast The Expendables 6). Wait…I see my dream buddy movie featuring Bas Rutten and Russell Brand!
So yeah, this movie wasn’t very good, but it had some interesting elements and Rutten was a pleasant surprise.
If you’ve seen any of these movies, let’s talk about them in the comments section (please!).
