Pokemusings Pokemon Go Edition: Stupid Trainers Am Stupid

Stupid Pokemon Go Trainers 1

If you’ve been playing Pokemon Go for a long time then you’ve surely encountered stupid Pokemon Go trainers. Most of the time they’re harmless — village idiots that can easily be ignored. However, when they complain loudly, stupid Pokemon Go trainers can be a genuine nuissance.

Recently, I had to suffer the presence of a stupid Pokemon Go trainer. As part of the Celebi quest, two of the tasks required trainers to evolve an Eevee into an Espeon and an Umbreon. This requires walking Eevee for 10 kilometers and evolving it during the day (Espeon) or night (Umbreon). The important thing is that you have to evolve Eevee while it’s still your buddy. This particular trainer didn’t do that.

Unaware of his error, he went on a rant on how he was going to quit the game because Niantic screwed him. Niantic didn’t screw you, buddy. You screwed yourself because you didn’t understand how to evolve Eevee properly. Don’t blame the developer for your stupidity.

Pokemon Go Pokemusings Magikarp
Magikarp candy can be acquired by walking one kilometer. Only stupid Pokemon Go trainers use rare candies on Magikarp.

The Celebi situation reminded me of an idiot Pokemon Go trainer I encountered during the Mew quest. As you know, one of the requirements for Mew was to evolve a Magikarp into a Gyarados. For trainers that were short on Magikarp candy, this particular task was doable, but time consuming.

Depending on what nests you had access to, Magikarp was rare for many trainers at the time. Still, Magikarp candy could be had by keeping one as your buddy and walking 1km. Like I said before, this was doable.

One moronic Pokemon Go trainer that I met used rare candies to complete the Gyarados task. That was an amazingly poor use of a very powerful resource. Rare candies should be used to get candy for Pokemon that have a 20km walking distance, not those that require 1km of walking. The trainer wasted a precious resource in order to get a Mew sooner, instead of just being patient and walking.

Yes, that trainer can play that game any way he wants to and use the in-game resources any way he sees fit, but I couldn’t help but be reminded of the immortal words of Ari Gold. “He’s playing like a f*cking idiot!”

Those are just two examples of stupid Pokemon Go trainers I’ve met since the game launched. One day I’ll tell you about the one that speaks often and loudly about the game to anyone that will listen, but more than half the things his says are incorrect. For now, I’d love to hear about the village idiots in your Pokemon Go community. Kindly share your stories in the comments section.