Coffee Talk #205: Games You Hate Because of Their Writing

The other day we talked about games we loved because of their writing. Now it’s time to enter the bitter barn and drink some Haterade, because we’re going to talk about games we loathed because of their writing! A bad story can ruin an otherwise excellent interactive experience. In my opinion, game writing has been getting better and better. Even games that are essentially mindless exercises in action are using top-quality writers. Still, there are plenty of dark episodes of the past to discuss.

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, Chad Ochocinco’s expensive tweeting, whether Ochocinco should start using foursquare, or the joys of jet lag, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

The other day we talked about games we loved because of their writing. Now it’s time to enter the bitter barn and drink some Haterade, because we’re going to talk about games we loathed because of their writing! A bad story can ruin an otherwise excellent interactive experience. In my opinion, game writing has been getting better and better. Even games that are essentially mindless exercises in action are using top-quality writers. Still, there are plenty of dark episodes of the past to discuss.

As for me, I’m going to cast a vote for Superman 64. Not only was it a crap game that set a new (and horrific) standard for crap games, but the plot somehow made it okay for the Man of Steel to fly through rings like an idiot. That particular activity is just fine for dolphins, seals, and killer whales. Superman jumping through hoops?!? Preposterous, lame, mind-jarringly awful — too many negative descriptors come to mind. I feel worse just for thinking about Superman 64 and it’s stupid story.

Now it’s your turn! What games did you hate based on their writing?

Author: RPadTV

https://rpad.tv

34 thoughts on “Coffee Talk #205: Games You Hate Because of Their Writing”

  1. Will I draw the ire of the majority of the community for saying FFVII? Probably. But we'll just let it hang there anyway.

    In fact, let's throw FFX-2 under the bus as well.

    But probably the game that disappointed me the most due to the fact that the writing was convoluted and the game was released before it was ever really finished: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords.

  2. FFX and FFVII.

    Bad writing doesn't always ruin the game though. Capcom seems to find a way to shrug off crap writing. Resident Evil and DMC come to mind.

  3. Hmmm, while it wasn't the best standalone story, I think FFVII is more of a case of bad translation than bad story. I actually enjoy the FFVII world as a whole thanks to Advent Children, Last Order, and Crisis Core.

  4. @Ray: I agree, the translation was crap. The problem is that if the story gets lost in the translation, the end result is a bad story no matter what the reason.

  5. good call nightshade on Star Wars Kotor 2- One of the hardest things was to go from one of the best stories I've played in gaming to one of the worst, and unfinished stories.

    Even though all of the mechanics improved on the second game the story still makes it tough for me. Those two games are proof that story is a major factor in the success of a game.

    one of the worst games I can think of this generation in writing was the game two worlds (if i have the name right) I think it's the only game this generation I've rented, and i'm so glad I did. I was contemplating suicide or destroying blockbuster's disc after only a few hours. This was hard for me to comprehend since this game was supposed to be a competitor to Elder Scrolls….. yikes

  6. @Ray

    Without those other titles is how I judge it. I also cringed when I typed FFX because it drummed up memories of Tidys and Yuna laughing for no reason or the group exclaiming "Seymour!"

  7. Also, I refuse to accept Cait Sith as a viable character concept. Not since the days of the original Hart Foundation was the use of a colored megaphone in battle a viable combat tactic.

  8. One of the things that was mentioned last time was that sometimes the writing can be good, but the voice actors do not quite pull off a convincing performance. I find myself thinking that at times with games from the good, the bad (,and the ugly). Even a game as good as CoD MW2, or the Gears of War series does not always have a convincing performance all the way through in my opinion, and that can make even good writing go bad.

    I have played a few games recently that were just mediocre or bad overall, but I think with better audio recording and better voice actors some of these games (from a story only side of things) could be improved immensely. Darkest of Days was one, Prey was a decent enough game but I didn't care for the writing at all. I tried playing through F.E.A.R. and Call of Juarez but found them so boring and uninteresting that I turned them off. Call of Juarez felt forced from the moment I loaded that game, F.E.A.R.'s opening sequence, gameplay, and the first couple of chapters felt like they were from the mid-90's, not 2006 or so. That was also something I would consider bad writing because something that new should not feel so old, and I can't help but think that more modern writing and dialogue would have helped draw me into that game. Cliches are definitely something to avoid in writing because they get too cheesy pretty quickly, I just wish that more dev. teams took more time sometimes to write the game and make sure that the dialogue and speech is believable.

  9. @Shockwave: I can't possibly tell you how horrifically disappointed I was in Two Worlds. If I could scrub the 30 GP's off of my profile I earned from the game in the half an hour I gave it before turning it off in disgust and putting back in the return envelope to Gamefly, I would.

    That being said, they're coming out with a Two Worlds II. But I'm not falling for it again though. They've gotta prove it to me this time.

  10. Damnit! Nightshade beat me to it. I was going to say FF8 because I have come to expect Squaresoft (at that time) to tell a deep and meaningful story with every passing Final Fantasy title. FF8 lost me. To say the story was convoluted would be a gross understatement. Switching back and forth between to different sets of main characters didn't help either. I would have preferred Laguna's part of the story to be told via cut scenes or other manner instead of actually playing out his role at random parts of the game. It seemed to artificially lengthen the game which is eerily short (thank god) for a FF game. Lastly, time travel hasn't been done well in a video game since Chrono Trigger, so don't even get me started on that aspect of the game. Also, Seifer was a forced character created to be a "foil" to Cloud and it failed on every level imaginable. He was a shallow, one-dimensional, stereotypical tool.

    Let me stop before Smartguy keeps taking notes for rebuttal for our future debate.

    Off the top of my head, games that had really crappy stories to the point that I do not wish to play them any longer would have to include "The Lost and Damned", "Super Mario Bros." (don't tell me you didn't keep getting pissed when you thought you beat the game but kept hearing: "Sorry Mario, but the Princess is in another castle."), Quest 64 (worst RPG I've ever played), Spiderman (almost all of them, which is a disappointment because I'm a big fan of Spiderman mythos and stories), and Ultima IV.

    I also agree with Smartguy on the fact that Capcom gets a free pass on the story front since they usually don't need a story for their games and, in fact, suffer when they do try to make a fun game with a meaningful story. I don't care why Dr. Light built Megaman, I just want him to get him through the stage and shoot things.

    -M

  11. wow, it seems like everyone has played all of the games mentioned. i didn't have a issue with the story in FF7, it wasn't great but i didn't think it was the worst. I didn't play any other FF game after 8. I didn't play KOTOR 2 because i heard the game wasn't any good compared to the first one. I think i've done a pretty good job in avoiding buying games that don't interest me but not enough to hate them.

    @ochocinco

    The guy is an idiot. They had Carson Palmer today on Mike and Mike. they asked him what he says to OchoCinco when he sees that he gets fine. He just listens to him and tells him not to do it again. I just smirked and i was like it makes sense. OchoCinco knows what he's doing and he's a grown man; if he hasn't stopped now why should he stop when palmer tells him something.

    OchoCinco should join 4sq if he links it to his twitter account, so i can see where he gets into trouble.

    @jetlag

    there are no joys to jetlag. i would only wish jetlag especially on a 14-16 hour plane trip only on my worst enemies.

  12. @Tokz

    That is a great idea for Ochocinco to do. I could use a good laugh at him every now and then. And I'm even close enough to be able to tour all the spots like one of those Hollywood tours. lol.

  13. @Ochocinco

    He's not as dumb as some ppl perceive him to be. He convinces the NFL to let him donate the fine to charity more often than not. Charitable contributions are deductible up til a threshold. Fines are never deductible.

  14. @bsu

    hollywood tours suck and are lame. trust me. me and the gf took one while we were in Cali last year. The Boston ones are awesome plus you can get off and on whenever you want.

    @smartguy

    i agree. mostly all athletes (sp?) donate money to charity for this reason.

  15. @Tokz

    Yeah I don't ever plan on going on one of those tours. They look like crap to go on and not a lot of fun.

  16. @ Topic

    SvR 2010 is at the top of my list, just kidding 8). I actually have no answer for this because you guys pretty much covered it all.

  17. I just told Big Blak over WordFeud that I saw a little kill a chicken today at a food stall. Shocked the sh*t out of me. It was a new experience for sure.

    @Big Blak You know it's Justin's birthday today (in America anyway). How dare you poke fun at his life's work!!! *joke*

  18. any gi joe game…any transformers game (except war for cybertron)

    there IS a good gi joe game out there that no one has made yet…ive always thought they should use the COD engine.

  19. @ on the topic of SVR

    SVR 2011 avatar gear is on the avatar marketplace. I got the WWE belt as a prop.

    You can also get Hornswaggle as a pet… It's pretty awesome.

  20. We're going to an Apple Store later, which is apparently a pretty big deal here. I wonder if the clients will notice me changing all the home pages of every iMac, iPhone, and iPad I touch to RPad.tv.??? Remember, if you do this at an Apple Store or a Best Buy, it's frickin' hilarious!!!

  21. @Ray

    Yeah I did that at my Best Buy here when the iPad's came out. I might have to do that again…

  22. @Iceman; I beat you to it? I picked on FF7. I love FF8. I think it's a far step above FF7 in almost every way.

  23. @Nightsade;

    Whoops. I think I read too many "I"s there when you typed in "FFVII". I should really get my eyes checked. Well, in that case let it be known that to anyone who reads my first post in this thread (#13); please ignore the first two sentences.

    By the way, I read your take on Cat Sith. That was harsh, but funny as hell. I never used the guy either. I also never understood why he has a megaphone as his main "weapon" because every time I would attack with him, the mog always ran up to the enemy and pounded it with his fists. The megaphone really wasn't used as a fighting weapon.

    -M

  24. @N8;

    "It would be calle[d] “Call Of Duty: The Other Half of the Battle”."

    This is comedy gold! … and actually not a bad marketing idea between Hasbro (or whomever holds the licensing for G.I. Joe and Activision. Oh god, please keep this under your hat so that Kocklick doesn't get a whiff of this potential increase in his stock portfolio.

    -M

  25. @Iceman: I'd hasten to say that my take take on Quena from FFIX is significantly harsher than Cait Sith.

Comments are closed.