Fake Steve Jobs Tells You How to Combat Android Fanboys

Between all the excellent FroYo (Android 2.2) announcements at Google I/O and hot phones like the HTC Evo 4G, Android has been getting a lot of attention lately. While I love the Android platform and am very excited about FroYo’s features, some tech writers and enthusiasts are going way too far with the excitement. Thankfully Fake Steve Jobs is here to keep it real. Earlier in the week I read his article on how to combat Android fanboys and it’s so good that I keep coming back to it. Check out this snippet from the intro:

Remember how cool and special and powerful you felt when you whipped it out in public and everyone around you was like, Whoa, is that the new iPhone? Are you some kind of wizard? Do you have magic powers?

That’s just awesome. But wait! There’s more! On Android being better for power-users:

Fair enough, you’re a super techie and can handle Android. Apple is designed for regular people who don’t want to worry about technology. By adopting Android, and helping Google succeed, you are hurting the regular folks who want to use Apple. Somehow.

On multitasking:

You don’t need it. It’s a total red herring. When was the last time you did more than one thing on a phone? Also: Apple will have multitasking soon, so the point is moot.

On the various versions of Android floating around:

I’m trying to remember, how many versions of Android are there? Like sixty? And each one has a different user interface, and they’re always updating and changing and you have to go look up to see if your phone will run the new OS and it’s just so confusing and you’ll be tearing your hair out. With Apple, just one system. Simple. Ahhh.

On the “inferiority” of AT&T:

AT&T actually much better than Verizon. Faster 3G. Talk and surf Web at same time. As for dropped calls, all I can tell you is it has never happened to me or anyone I know, and the media has blown that issue way out of proportion.

On Android spyware and viruses:

You won’t get it on Apple. Android is crawling with it. Also, viruses. You’ll get viruses just by turning on your phone. If you’re on your home network, the virus could jump from your phone to every device on your network, even your WiFi router, and you will never get it out. The virus will spy on you and take pictures of you as you’re working and post those pictures on Facebook along with your credit card numbers, Social Security numbers, and a list of everything you’ve ever bought online. So, good luck with that.

This is just brilliant stuff. Some of his points are actually valid and some of them are hilariously ridiculous. There’s a ton more in the original post and I highly recommend reading it. Fake Steve Jobs ftw!!!


Author: RPadTV