Coffee Talk #231: Rearranging Your Living Room for Kinect

I’d have to get rid of my coffee table in order to use Kinect for Xbox 360. I kind of like my coffee table. It’s useful and handsome. It’s also heavy. I’d worry about my right knee giving out if I had to move the coffee table every time I…

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, the Yankee bats completely choking (except for Cano), winning the lottery today, or BlizzCon 2010, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

I’d have to get rid of my coffee table in order to use Kinect for Xbox 360. I kind of like my coffee table. It’s useful and handsome. It’s also heavy. I’d worry about my right knee giving out if I had to move the coffee table every time I wanted to play Kinect…but that’s probably what I’m going to have to do.

RPadholics Iceman and N8R chatted with me about this topic yesterday: Do you have to rearrange your living room to use Xbox Kinect? Do you plan to? Do you find it ridiculous that this new form of gaming requires you to move furniture? Or is it worth it for the new and exciting experience?

Fake Steve Jobs Talks Google Android…Again

After nearly a month of silence, Fake Steve Jobs is back with a hilarious rant on Google Android. As with most of the blog posts by Fake Steve, this one should not be missed. Here’s a clip:

To reiterate: We are way more popular than Android. In fact, Android is not that popular at all. From what our research tells us, hardly anyone is buying Android phones. I know — that’s not what you’re hearing from the so-called “independent” market research outfits. So ask yourself, why is that? How could all those firms get this so incredibly wrong? Could it be that they’ve all been bought off by Google? Maybe that’s something that someone should be looking into.

But think about it. Do you know anyone who has an Android phone? I don’t. Honestly, not a single person I know has an Android phone. I’ve never seen one anywhere, in public, being used by a real person. I just haven’t. I mean I’ve seen the ads. But I haven’t seen an actual Android phone, and until I do, then as far as I’m concerned they simply don’t exist. They’re like Bigfoot, or the Loch Ness Monster. Great story, very entertaining, but not real.

I highly suggest reading the whole thing. Fake Steve rules!!!

Source

Google, RIM, and TweetDeck Fire Back at Apple’s Steve Jobs

Apple CEO Steve Jobs made a lot of noise with his comments during the company’s Q4 2010 earnings call. Google, RIM, and TweetDeck executives have refuted some of Jobs’ statements. The executive trash talking is getting good. Grab some popcorn and enjoy.

TweedDeck founder and CEO Iain Dodsworth sent out two tweets addressing Android fragmentation being a nightmare for developers:

Did we at any point say it was a nightmare developing on Android? Errr nope, no we didn’t. It wasn’t.

We only have 2 guys developing on Android TweetDeck so that shows how small an issue fragmentation is

Google VP of engineering Andy Rubin sent out a playful and nerdy tweet addressing Jobs’ assertion that Android isn’t really open:

the definition of open: “mkdir android ; cd android ; repo init -u git://android.git.kernel.org/platform/manifest.git ; repo sync ; make”

RIM co-CEO Jim Balsillie issued a statement responding to Jobs’ diss on the company and the BlackBerry platform:

For those of us who live outside of Apple’s distortion field, we know that 7″ tablets will actually be a big portion of the market and we know that Adobe Flash support actually matters to customers who want a real web experience. We also know that while Apple’s attempt to control the ecosystem and maintain a closed platform may be good for Apple, developers want more options and customers want to fully access the overwhelming majority of web sites that use Flash. We think many customers are getting tired of being told what to think by Apple. And by the way, RIM has achieved record shipments for five consecutive quarters and recently shared guidance of 13.8 – 14.4 million BlackBerry smartphones for the current quarter. Apple’s preference to compare its September-ending quarter with RIM’s August-ending quarter doesn’t tell the whole story because it doesn’t take into account that industry demand in September is typically stronger than summer months, nor does it explain why Apple only shipped 8.4 million devices in its prior quarter and whether Apple’s Q4 results were padded by unfulfilled Q3 customer demand and channel orders. As usual, whether the subject is antennas, Flash or shipments, there is more to the story and sooner or later, even people inside the distortion field will begin to resent being told half a story.

This is great stuff! These guys should all get in a steel cage and for a last-man-standing match. I’d buy that on PPV.

Listen to Steve Jobs Rock Apple’s Q4 Earnings Call

Normally, I wouldn’t advise you to listen to an earnings call, but Apple CEO Steve Jobs made a rare appearance during Apple’s Q4 2010 results announcement. His presence made the call exponentially more entertaining. He blasted Android, blasted RIM and its BlackBerry platform, blasted seven-inch tablets, talked about sanding your fingers, and was his usually charming self. Click here to give it a listen (Jobs jumps in around the 15-minute mark). Here are some quotes from his Royal Worshipfulness Grandmaster High Steve.

On the “open” Google Android vs. the “closed” Apple iOS:

Google wants to characterize Android as open, and iOS and the iPhone as closed. We think this is disingenuous. Unlike Windows, which has the same interface on every machine, Android is very fragmented. Compare this with iPhone, where every interface is the same. You know, even if Google were right, and the real issue is closed versus open, it’s worth noting that closed systems don’t always win — look at Microsoft’s Plays For Sure model. Even Microsoft abandoned this strategy in favor of Apple’s integrated approach. We believed integrated will trump fragmented every time.

On seven-inch tablets vs. the Apple iPad:

Let’s talk about the avalanche of tablets. First, there are only a few credible competitors. And they all have seven-inch screen. This size isn’t sufficient to create great tablet apps. And this size is useless unless you include sandpaper so users can sand their fingers down to a quarter of their size. We’ve done extensive testing and 10 inches is the minimum tablet size. Given that tablet users will have a smartphone in their pocket, there’s no point in giving up screen size. Seven inch tablets are tweeners — too big to be a phone, and too small to compete with the iPad.

On Apple’s goals with the iPhone:

Our goal is to make the best devices in the world, not to be the biggest — as you know Nokia is the biggest, and we admire them for shipping as many devices as they do. But we don’t want to be like them — we want to be like us, and make the best devices. Nokia makes $50 handsets, and we’re not smart enough to figure that out yet — I’ll let you know when we do. Our goal is to make the best products in every industry we compete in while driving costs down. That’s what we did with iPod — it was relentless improvement and lower prices that was able to beat our competition. As you know we have a very low share in the phone market — single digits if you count all the handsets, and a high share in tablets because we were the first movers. But that’s not how we think about it. The reason we don’t make a seven-inch tablet isn’t cost, but because seven inches isn’t big enough for the software people want to put on them.

Steve is awesome.

Source

THQ Opens Montreal Studio, Signs Assassin’s Creed Director

THQ has announced the opening of its Montreal Studio and the signing of Patrice Désilets, former Ubisoft director that was responsible for the Assassin’s Creed franchise and Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. Here’s a clip from the official press release:

Désilets previously served as creative director on the Assassin’s Creed franchise, as well as Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. THQ has the exclusive option to have Désilets work from THQ’s new Montreal studio beginning summer 2011. When he joins the studio, Désilets will be charged with the hiring of a new team that will develop new intellectual properties for THQ.

This is a tremendous move by THQ. The company has been working hard to become more than just the publisher of WWE SmackDown vs. Raw and various Nickelodeon games. The company recently started the THQ Partners program and is publishing Double Fine’s Costume Quest, giving it some street cred as a “creative” publisher. Signing a highly-respected talent like Patrice Désilets increases that rep.

What do you think of THQ signing Désilets? He’s slated to work on a new franchise, but are there any existing THQ properties you think he could revamp?

The Vatican Declares Homer J. Simpson Catholic

In case you’ve been wondering, Homer Simspon is Catholic…at least that’s the story the Vatican’s official newspaper, Osservatore Romano, is spreading.

In case you’ve been wondering, Homer Simspon is Catholic…at least that’s the story the Vatican’s official newspaper, Osservatore Romano, is spreading. Here’s the deal according to Reuters:

The newspaper cited a study by a Jesuit priest of a 2005 episode of the show called “The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star”. That study concludes that “The Simpsons” is “among the few TV programs for kids in which Christian faith, religion and questions about God are recurrent themes.”

Uh…wow. With all the problems in the world, I’m glad that the Roman Catholic Church is spending its time informing its followers of the religions of various animated cartoon characters. Well done.

Source

Xbox 360 Kinect Launch Titles Announced

Microsoft has announced the launch games for its upcoming Kinect motion controller for Xbox 360. Here’s the list:

Microsoft has announced the launch games for its upcoming Kinect motion controller for Xbox 360. Here’s the list:

Kinect Adventures
Kinectimals
Game Party: In Motion
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1
Your Shape: Fintess Evolved
Dance Central
The Biggest Loser Ultimate Workout
DanceMasters
EA Sports Active 2
Zumba Fitness
Kinect Sports
MotionSports
Deca Sports Freedom
Kinect Joy Ride
Adrenalin Misfits
Fighters Uncaged
Sonic Free Riders

I know that most of you are longing to add four fitness games to your library, but what about the other titles? Do any of these Kinect launch titles interest you?

This Week’s Videogame Releases

Kirby’s Epic Yarn — my favorite game of E3 2010 — is out! What? You need to hear about other games too? Oh fine. There’s actually a bunch of interesting titles coming out this week. Fallout New Vegas will be popular with enthusiast gamers (it’s actually #1 on the Amazon charts as of this writing). Fight fans will want to give EA Sports MMA a look. Want some fun with peripherals? Power Gig: Rise of the SixString features a real guitar as its controller. Time Crisis: Razing Storm gives PlayStation Move owners some visceral shooting fun. DJ Hero 2 is out for gamers that want to spin and fade.

Really though, you should all be buying Kirby’s Epic Yarn…but do let me know what games you’re planning to buy this week.