Bartesian is the Keurig of Alcoholic Beverages (CES 2017)

Bartesian is an upcoming home appliance that aims to bring extreme ease-of-use to mixology. In many ways, it’s like the alcoholic-beverage equivalent of the popular Keurig coffeemaker. The base unit has four reservoirs that hold the liquors of your choice, while pods are inserted into the machine to make a tasty mixed cocktail. Forget about shaking, stirring, measuring the proper amounts, etc. Bartesian will make the drink you desire in seconds. It’s frickin’ genius!

The Bartesian hardware is quite handsome. It reminds me of several exotic coffeemakers that I’ve spied. It’s sure to spruce up the looks of any kitchen or wet bar it’s in. While the appliance looks great, the real magic is with the pods.

Bartesian Reservoirs
The Bartesian has four reservoirs to hold the liquors of your choice.

Bartesian pods come in a variety of flavors. Cosmopolitan, martini, margarita, and sex on the beach are among the initial pods. Just like Keurig, the key here is convenience, but it goes beyond that. Coffee pods somewhat eliminate the need for a proper coffee grinder and a proper coffee maker. Drink pods eliminate the need for the various juices and ingredients required for mixed drinks.

Certainly, Bartesian isn’t for everyone. As a coffee nerd, I loathe Keurig coffeemakers. I can make a vastly superior cup of coffee with my Chemex. However, more time, equipment, and technique is required. On the alcoholic beverage side, I have zero skill as a mixologist, so this appliance is amazing. I’m sure that some seasoned bartenders and mixologists will look down on the machine, but I’m also sure that many people will be dazzled by its convenience and versatility.

Bartesian pods
These are some of the drink pods available for Bartesian. I hope to “test” them all at CES 2017.

Bartesian seems like the perfect appliance for home parties. Being able to quickly serve a wide variety of drinks with maximum convenience and minimal mess is brilliant. I’m certain that the novelty of the machine will encourage people to drink more and experiment with different flavors, which is awesome (unless you have friends that are surly drunks). The appliance is a fantastic conversation piece that’s sure to enhance any party.

Company cofounder and president Ryan Close told me that Bartesian has recently partnered with Beam Suntory. As a huge fan of Suntory whiskey, Maker’s Mark, and Knob Creek, I’m excited to see how the partnership develops.

As a person that’s poor at mixing anything but basic drinks, I’m completely sold on Bartesian. I want one and want to throw a party based around the appliance. I’m also curious to hear what mixologists think of the machine. I’m going to ping my friend that’s a longtime mixologist for a popular Morgans Hotel Group property to see what he thinks of it. I’m also going to try to “test” various Bartesian drinks at CES 2017. For now, kindly tell me what you think of it. Is it something you want for your kitchen or wet bar? Please leave a comment and let me know.

Bartesian Photo Gallery