The ESRB’s description of Dead or Alive: Paradise for Sony PlayStation Portable is full of win for using the phrases “jiggle their breasts”, “creepy voyeurism”, and “misguided notions of what women really want”. Check it out:
This is a video game in which users watch grown women dressed in G-string bikinis jiggle their breasts while on a two-week vacation. Women’s breasts and butts will sway while playing volleyball, while hopping across cushions, while pole dancing, while posing on the ground, by the pool, on the beach, in front of the camera. There are other activities: Users can gamble inside a casino to win credits for shopping; they can purchase bathing suits, sunglasses, hats, clothing at an island shop; they can “gift” these items to eight other women in hopes of winning their friendship, in hopes of playing more volleyball. And as relationships blossom from the gift-giving and volleyball, users may get closer to the women, having earned their trust and confidence: users will then be prompted to zoom-in on their friends’ nearly-naked bodies, snap dozens of photos, and view them in the hotel later that night. Parents and consumers should know that the game contains a fair amount of “cheesy,” and at times, creepy voyeurism–especially when users have complete rotate-pan-zoom control; but the game also contains bizarre, misguided notions of what women really want (if given two weeks, paid vacation, island resort)–Paradise cannot mean straddling felled tree trunks in dental-floss thongs.
The author of this description sounds a little bit angry, but as an immature male his/her words make me want to buy the game. *snicker*
Source via Siliconera
I'm with you Rpad. I will buy a PSP, the old style not the GO just to play this game!
My comment is based solely on the title of this article and directed at the ESRB:
Duh!!
"This is a video game in which users watch grown women dressed in G-string bikinis jiggle their breasts while on a two-week vacation."
He makes this sentence sound like a bad thing.
@Smartguy: Cause this is a classy game!
On top of that… the last sentence is complete conjecture. Who says that physically fit, bi-curious women with a two week all expenses paid vacation to a tropical island would not want to straddle trees in what can only be described as a cloth swatch held in place by a single piece of fish flavored dental floss. I mean really. It sounds plausible.
@LarcenousLaugh I want to go to this island. Screw the island from Lost.
Ha! The ESRB changed the description.
LOL
Awesome.
Wouldn't the ESRB have to know what women want in order to say it's misguided?
Don't they watch the Jersey Shore?
@Larcenous;
I'm pretty sure the person reviewing it is not a "he". In fact, I would venture to say that it is more of a "she" with three out-of-control kids, a husband she is about to divorce since he spends so much time watching inernet porn and never helps around the house, and an album full of "what if" moments from Woodstock full of hemp-smelling photos of her lighting a bras on fire.
-M
@Iceman – I agree with everything but the porn. She would easily go with the straddling trees then.
Why don’t they just make it 100% nude? Games have nudity now.
@LarcenousLaugh – Fish flavored lol?