Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, those amazing Cardinals, Manny Pacquiao vs. Joshua Clottey at Cowboys Stadium, or your favorite CES 2010 gadget, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.
Videogame movies…so many of them are embarrassing. Whether you’re talking about Uwe Boll’s numerous offenses, Raul Julia going out with a psycho crusher in Street Fighter, or Dead or Alive sucking despite having some truly beautiful women running around half-naked for 90 minutes, movies based on videogames haven’t been the best.
Some gamers don’t see the point. Games are a form of interactive storytelling, so why do they need a linear and traditional way to tell a story? Doesn’t that take away the uniqueness of the medium? I’m all for videogame movies, just like I support videogame books, comics, lunch boxes, etc. If it helps expand the world of a game I enjoy and expand the business in general, that’s a good thing. Unfortunately, the execution if often…off.
Today I wanted to ask you about the videogame movie that’s playing in your head. What gaming franchise to you want to see on the big screen? Do you have any actors or actresses you want to attach to your dream project? Kindly channel your inner director and tell me all about the videogame movie you want (please)!
Legacy of Kain. Done in CGI.
@Smartguy That's an interesting and surprising choice. What do you like about Legacy of Kain that would make a fun movie for you?
I think it's obvious, Uncharted 2. Most director can learn a thing or two from Naughty Dog.
That Green Bay and Arizona game was a great game yesterday huh?
Ultima 6-9 (Minus 8) done as 2 movies would be pretty cool.
A Fallout movie would be great too, not a post apocalyptic movie of whatever, but an actual Fallout universe style movie.
The Elder Scrolls would be pretty cool.
BUT I do NOT want to see a movie based on Guitar Hero. That would suck.
Wouldn't Mad Max count as a Fallout game?
Wouldn't Escape from L.A. count as a Fallout game too?
@ Sandrock
No. While it IS a post apocalyptic movie, it is not within the Fallout universe.
A Modern Warfare movie could easily work. It's not like there is a real story for the movie to have to follow and we could get another war movie like Black Hawk Down.
I thought they were working on a script for a Modern Warfare movie already.
@Hrolf
Supposedly, but I think publishers say stuff like that now a days just to help hype their next game.
Heh I'd love to see a Castlevania game (and yes, I'm already aware that it's been talked about or w/e), cause the industry could use a good vamp movie. But then all I can see in my head is some cheesy dialogued horrible fighting sequenced movie. Games making movies have ruined my sense of hope that they might not suck. I'm not even holding out hope for the PoP movie.
@Duke
Anyone else here that, to no ones surprise, Duke Nukem Forever is still supposed to be getting released?
@Topic: None. Until they can prove that they can do one right, they might as well pass on all of them. And since even the shortest games would need to undergo significant cuts in order to fit into a nice 2 hr package for the sake of a movie, I doubt that it can really be done properly.
I would really like to see a Legend of Zelda movie but I think Hollywood would F**k that up badly. Agree with RROD the Uncharted series would be a good franchise to turn into a movie. It would be like a modern day Indiana Jones.
@Ray
it has a great story and very compelling characters. It also has one of the best anti-heroes in any videogame. I like the bombastic nature of Raziel and Kain's soliquoy scenes. It would be great to have a vampire movie that isn't queer.
@RROD
have you ever seen Romancing the Stone? I think Uncharted 1 was influenced by that movie.
@tokz_21 I'm with you on that one. I'd be scared of Hollyweird contaminating Zelda.
@Smartguy Wait, you mean vampire movies aren't supposed to be fruity?!?
@Smartguy
Never heard of it.
@Nightshade – You are right for a straight video game to movie adaptation. Much like a Book to Movie adap, there is normally (exceptions are available of course) far to much in the book to bring everything important into the movie.
If the characters are used though, taking RROD's example of Uncharted, and a new story is written from that perspectove, I think it is possible to integrate the two. For it to happen, and for it to be truly representative of the fiction, I think the games would have to be considered canon, and the events of any previous games not ignored as they are in so many adaptations.
And Uwe Boll, while I admire his tenacity at doing what he wants despite protests otherwise, should not be allowed to make another adaptation ever again. He would be better served directing episodes of This Old House, remaking Murder She Wrote in the style of McG's Charlie's Angels, or simply standing in a corner and sputtering into a camera lens as a form of Pollock-like visual art.
@Smartguy – they took ideas and set pieces from all those adventure movies. Romancing the Stone for sure.
@RROD – it was staring Michael Douglas, and is worth a rent if you are so inclined.
It is streamable on Netflix if I remember correctly, and there is a sequel to it as well. Pretty good movie if I remember correctly. Certainly better then Crystal Skull, but then even the Prequel Star Wars movies are better then Crystal Skull.
That Prince of Persia movie looks like it might be done right.
@Hrolf
Yeah, it is streamable. The sequel is "The Jewel of the Nile". Not sure if it is.
@Ray
Gotta buck the trend. I seriously just lament the fact that one of my favorite franchises is no more.
@Crystal Skull – Outside of the "surviving a nuclear explosion in a fridge", what was the problem with Crystal Skull?
@larcenous
Shia Lebeouf and Shia Lebeouf swinging in the trees with the monkeys.
The villain also looked retarded in her commy pants.
The entire script..
@Smartguy I'd be shocked if it didn't come back at some point.
@Ray
I'd be very happy with that. The gameplay in the last one they did was ok. I much prefer the style of the previous titles rather than the action title. I have to know what happens though, the damn Hyldan are loose!
I blame JR for getting me hooked on that franchise. He was hocking Soul Reaver for about 3 months before I finally bought it. Damn you JR.
@Smartguy – I'm not a big fan of Shia either (I think he tries to be Justin Long, and he's just not Justin Long), but I thought he did alright for what he had.
@Hrolf – I can't see the entire script being bad. The movie gave me exactly what I was expecting, a good time, and it was a Lucas story with someone else directing, which in my book is generally win/win.
@Larcenous
Maybe if he tried to portray something different than a whiny punk kid I'd give him a shot. I used to not like Leonardo Dicaprio. My mind changed when he made Departed.
@ Larcenous
If you liked it cool, but I hated it more then I hated Star Wars 1-3 and almost as much as I hated Spider-Man 3
And the fact they might make ANOTHER indy movie just pisses me off.
@Smartguy – LEO! Yeah Leo has a lot of depth to him that people lose when they just think of Titanic. I don't think Shia has the acting chops though, but maybe it's just that he hasn't had the right part.
@Hrolf – I guess I just have a higher forgiveness quotient for Lucas stuff then most people. I had nothing but fun in the prequels and Crystal Skull. I hear the major complaints people had, but I just don't think they were that bad.
Spider-man 3 on the other hand, was completely horrid. It was inexcusable to the way they treated the characters the way they did in that script, especially given the success they had with 1 and 2. Spider-man 2 is third in my mind as the best of the comic book adaptations, following Begins and TDK of course lol :)
I went home for lunch and I viewed the new Clash of the Titans trailer. I don't know what to think. It looks not very fantasy…if that makes sense.
@larcenous and hrolf
where do you put watchmen? I thought the movie had some lingering parts (night owl gettin some repeatedly) and the ending kind of tapered off. Not a bad movie, but not a movie I'd watch again.
Best character: The Comedian.
@Smartguy
Agreed, "Best character: The Comedian."
@ Smartguy
Having never read the comic, I thought it was a good movie. though if I had read the comic, I probably would complain.
I can get past some things being changed in the transition from Comic book to movie, but who ever thought changing Harry from the Green Goblin, to the new Mountain Dew Extreme Air Goblin was one of the biggest F. You to fans I believe. Spider-Man would not have let Sandman just flutter away like he did, at least not in my opinion, and if you really want to make Parker look like a bad ass, how about holding a mugger by the throat over the edge of a tall building, and not flipping the hair the other way and doing some dance to show how bad he is….
Venom, while he looked really cool, SHOULD have been a story arc in AT LEAST 2 movies, and the person that played Eddie Brock, was NOT what I had in mind for the role.
Even the rumored Spider-Man 4 (on hold now for how long) sounded like a train wreck waiting to happen. Just throw Lizard in the movie since he his character has been in ALL 3 movies already, and get it over with. Disney/Marvel needs to take the license back and put Spidey in with the other heroes, dump the people involved and hire better actors.
@Smartguy – I really liked it. It stayed remarkably true to the source, and I think had Alan Moore crawled out of his cave long enough to rejoin humanity, he would have enjoyed it. It was amazingly long though, just like the graphic novel, and watching it in one sitting, especially once the novelty wears off, is nap inducing.
It would be in my top ten.
Watching Dexter at work now…funny that I never realized Dexter's adoptive father is a thunder god lol.
Worst vid game movie ever : MK2
honorable mention: house of the dead (I bought it)
What movie was James Remar a thunder god?
Mortal Kombat 2
@ topic
Mercenaries could be cool. I like the other thoughts people had about Legacy of Kain and Castlevania.
@ Nightshade
By your definition, I hear Halo ODST might make a great movie,
@ Crystal Skull
The whole plot was ridiculous and pandering to the Scientologists.
@ Watchmen
I liked it alot. I read that book when I was 10. The book goes more in to detail and if I had not read it, I'd be asking some questions like "Why does Rorshach's mask do that?" and other things.
@ Dexter
Season 4 finale was off the chain.
@ video game movies I did like
Silent Hill and Tomb Raider… that's about it.
Please no spoilers on Dexter season 4. I'm still acquiring them to finish up soon.
@N8R – wait, what part of the Crystal Skull was pandering to scientology? I didn't see any references to thetan spirits attaching to people, e-readers, or us all being spiritual/physical descendants of the clam.
@Crystal Skull – is chasing after aliens more ridiculous then a nazi encampment being wiped out by vengeful jewish box spirits?
@Watchman – I actually like the movie ending better then the comic book. Everything was the same… just replace the Dr. Manhattan-esque explosions with a Giant Psychic Squid that was bred by Ozymandias (his cat, Bobastus, was a foreshadow to this).
@ Larcenous
The whole alien references as a means of creation/religious practices.
Another thing that didn't make sense was that Hitler really did seek out these religious artifacts vigorously. He supposedly found a good deal of them too. The Russians weren't as occult oriented and I just felt the whole plot seemed less believable.
And Scientologists don't believe we came from a clam, they believe we are descendants from an Alien race on the planet Xenu.
I would like to see a live action Pokemon movie made.
Actually, no I wouldn't but you know it's going to happen. You heard it here first, folks.
BTW, thanks for ruining Crystal Skull for me, guys. I had downloaded the movie but not watched it because I saw the South Park episode where Lucas and Speilberg raped Indiana Jones and I've been scared to watch the movie ever since.
-M
Noone on here ruined that movie for you. If you would like to place blame, you can look right at George Lucas, David Koepp, Jeff Nathanson, Philip Kaufman,and of course Steven Spielberg
@ Iceman
Keep Richard Gere away from that live action Pokemon movie. Pikachu may never be the same….
@N8R – That's part of the beauty of scientology. We are born of both Thetans, the original alien species that was attached to the bottoms of volcanoes and exploded during the great war with Xenu, and from Clams. In fact, Elrond Hubbard has gone so far as to say that simply mentioning the word clam to anyone who is past Thetan level 3 will cause their jaw to lock as evolutionary shock rockets through their system. He had a whole hierarchy of things that we arose from that still psychologically affect us.
The alien/religion myth has been along a lot longer then scientology. Giving them credit for that is giving them way more then they deserve.
@Iceman, Hrolf – or you could just watch it, enjoy it and not blame anyone… lol. The choice is yours!
@N8R – I think Scientology is one of the greatest scams pulled in the history of man. The fact that people will so whole-heartedly believe such things is an excellent analogy to the failings of organized religion as a whole.
@ Larcenous
I didn't give them the credit for it, i said it was pandering to them. They have alot of stake in Hollywood nowadays.
@Hitler – The thule society played more of a role with his lietenants then it did with him… though he was looking for any leg up he could find in the grand scheme of things. Even though he was horriblely evil, the man knew how to work a crowd, and if maintaining power meant that all you had to do was present someone with the Spear of Longinus and say "Mine is bigger then yours" I would have taken that route myself.
@ Larcenous
I totally agree. I was watching this documentary about Mind Control by the soviets and MK Ultra and couldn't help but to notice that the methods they used were VERY similar to the "auditing" process used in Scientology.
@N8R – but the pandering argument doesn't hold any water. I don't think there were any stars associated with the film that were scientologists, and I am sure that Lucas isn't one. Considering the size of the cult to the viewing populace, I think it would be silly to pander to less then 1-3% of those that would be coming to see your films.
That would be like saying that Raiders was pandering to the Jewish community because it both referrenced and included Jewish historical elements.
@ Larcenous
About your Hitler analogy… it worked for the French (i.e. Shroud of Turin).
@N8R – 100%. That E-reader and the "not hypnosis" hyponosis is precisely what is going on there. And what's hilarious is that they get away with it because conventional wisdom dictates that anything that sounds like a conspiracy theory, is a conspiracy theory, and therefore not worth investigation.
@N8R – you have me at a loss… what did the French do with the Shroud of Turin?
@ Larcenous
(Grrr) Not the stars themselves… other producers… studio execs… there's a TON of them in Hollywood (the industry).
As for pandering to the Jews… look at the last names of all the producers that make major motion pictures. What do you see? The Hebrews have had their stake in Hollywood for quite some time. The entire town os practically owned by Jewish people.
Pandering to people like that helps one's career in the long run.
@ Larcenous
They forged it. The shroud itself carbon dates to about 400 years after Jesus. The image is of a 6 foot man which was TOWERING for people in the time of Jesus and the head is disproportionate to the body on the front, but not the back. The question remains that "Who could forge it back then?".
A common speculation is that Leonardo Da Vinci did it. Da Vinci was a heretic and in good keepings with a Savoy (French, the family who owned it) prince. He wouldn't have taken a brand new cloth to make it. He grabbed and older cloth and used it. He was also one of the only people around the time it was unveiled that knew about light sensitive chemicals (primitive photography). They think he did the back, the front body, and the front head in three different shots.
It's one of the greatest hoaxes ever.
@N8R – Ha! I knew of the shroud but I didn't know that they had proven it to be a complete forgery yet. I love how wide spread Leonardo Da Vinci was. That's awesome.
@N8R – as sad as it is, you are probably right about the pandering though. I just think Scientology is so ridiculous in itself that the thought of pandering to it immediately throws me for a loop.
@ Larcenous
Start here and continue through the 6 parts:
Places pander to Islam all the time. You shouldn't be surprised when that stuff pops up.
I'm sorry… but Bloodrayne will always, to me, take the cake as the worst video game movie ever.
@Smartguy – I agree that Legacy of Kain would be an amazing franchise to make a CGI movie to. However, all of the time traveling would probably take a toll on the less-educated audience members.
Too many things I wanted to respond to here…so I did it this way…..
Want To See: God Of War, BioShock, Castlvania(done "realistically"), Legacy Of Kain, Uncharted, Left 4 Dead, Fallout, Metal Gear Solid, Diablo, and finally Warhammer:Horus Heresy (which is vaguely related to some video games I guess).
Favorites Thus Far: Resident Evil trilogy followed distantly(and in no particular order) by Super Mario Bros, Final Fantasy:Spirits Within, Assassin's Creed:Lineage (if that counts) and….uh…the first Pokemon movie maybe?
Worst: Uwe Boll's atrocities.
Scientology: Make that descendants of VAMPIRIC clams…..
Crystal Skull: I liked it aside from nuking the fridge and Shia swinging through the jungle. The aliens were NOT a form of pandering to Scientologists. That's just absurd to claim.
Spider-Man 3: Good in certain parts but absurd as a whole. I think Raimi was pissed at everyone trying to tell him what to do so he made the whole thing into a joke instead. Had he been left alone it'd probably be great.
Da Vinci: The guy was awesome.
Best Comic Book Movies (in no significant order): Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, X2:X-Men United, Watchmen, 300, Batman Begins, Dark Knight, Constantine, Hellboy, Hellboy II:The Golden Army, The Punisher(2004), Sin City, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, V For Vendetta