Random Thoughts on Star Wars: The Force Awakens Final Trailer

Star Wars The Force Awakens Trailer

Last night, millions of nerds cried out because they had to watch an American football game in order to catch the final trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Since it’s the biggest nerd movie of 2015, I want to hear your thoughts on the trailer (embedded below, for your convenience). I’ve watched the clip thrice and will watch it lots more before the movie comes out on December 18. For now, here are some random thoughts on the final trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

00:08: The trailer kicks of with Rey (Daisy Ridley) dressed as an albino teenage mutant ninja turtle. Her outfit is useful in the arid environment of Tatooine…because, you know, sand. As Anakin Skywalker once said about sand, “It’s coarse and irritating and it gets everywhere.”

00:39: Finn (John Boyega) takes off his stormtrooper helmet. Some longtime Star Wars fans have a problem with Finn (presumably) becoming a Jedi. In Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Yoda said that a six-year old Anakin Skywalker was too old to become a Jedi. Finn appears to be in his 20s, so some hardcore nerds have an issue with him being the next “chosen one,” while Fox News has an issue with a…melanin-enhanced person becoming a Jedi. Also, Finn appears to suck at piloting his T.I.E. fighter. So yeah, an old (for Jedi training) stormtrooper reject is your new hero!

00:50: There be lens flare. You really didn’t think JJ Abrams would drop it, did you?

00:53: Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) has a bad-ass name and a bad-ass voice. Too bad his helmet makes him look like an evil aardvark. The good news is that he’s a fan of Transformers: The Movie and quotes a song from the soundtrack to Darth Vader’s helmet.

01:05: The Millennium Falcon appears, in all of its shabby glory. You’ve never heard of the Millennium Falcon? This part of the trailer made me mark out and become a kid again.

01:15: Han Solo (Harrison Ford), looking as leathery as a worn out saddle bag, appears and tells the kids, “It’s true.” Apparently news dissemination sucks in their world, making it so that tank girl and a stormtrooper reject are ignorant of recent history. Clearly they have the technology, but apparently there weren’t any bloggers a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

01:17: The first warp lines appear. JJ Abrams did an excellent job modernizing warp lines in the recent Star Trek movies. These old-school warp effects look like stick figures. I guess they have nostalgic value. *shrug*

01:24: Kylo Ren is flanked by what appears to be imperial guards. Some people say they’re his Sith followers, but that would have him breaking the Sith rule of two. Either way, having a gang makes him look like a bit of a pussy. Darth Vader didn’t need any backup.

01:25: I love the X-Wing, but am disappointed that it hasn’t made any significant advancements (to the naked eye) in 30 years. Hell, Airbus and Boeing move at a glacial pace and even their birds look considerably sleeker than ones from 30 years ago.

01:40: Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) is whining to R2-D2 about not being in the official movie poster. That’s what he gets for going to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters, which apparently constitutes playing with your friends in Tatooine.

01:46: Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew), what a wookiee. Finn, Chewie, and Han appear to be getting arrested. Some things never change for scoundrels.

01:57: Princess Leia (Carrie Fischer) cries on Han’s shoulder, sad about what a hottie she was in the late 70s and early 80s. Hopefully they don’t show old Leia in a metal bikini.

01:58: Finn starts a lightsaber duel with Kylo Ren. He leads with a strong stance, but looks inept after that. This has lead some people to believe that Finn isn’t Force sensitive. I’m not sure about any of that. Swordsmanship is a fine art that’s difficult to master. When you add in laser swords and the fact that Finn sucked as a stormtrooper, of course he’s not going to be the best dualist. On a side note, my favorite lightsaber form is Soresu. What’s yours?

Anyway, that’s what I observed from the Star Wars: The Force Awakens final trailer. I’m sure that you guys and gals noticed many things that I did not and that certain bits meant much more to you than they did to me. With that in mind, kindly use the Force, let go, and share your thoughts on the trailer in the comments section.