Coffee Talk #468: The Videogame Weapon of Your Dreams

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, American Idol being 46 percent less entertaining since Heejun Han’s elimination, missing your friends at PAX East, or this very nice web site, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

One of the many things I dig about Final Fantasy XIII-2 is Mog. He’s pretty much the best videogame weapon I’ve encountered in the last decade. His versatility is astounding! Mog can transform into a sword. He can serve as a bow. He can find inter-dimensional treasure. You can chuck him so that he can find inter-dimensional treasure in hard-to-reach places. Although he overuses the word “kupo” to a staggering degree, he’s not a bad conversationalist. I’m certain he’d be an awesome chick magnet too. Mog is a formidable weapon that’s part metal detector and part friend. How do you beat that?!?

So yeah, if I could have any videogame weapon that ever existed, it would be Mog from Final Fantasy XIII-2. How about you? What’s the videogame weapon of your dreams? Do you have visions of slicing up baddies or opening cans of soup with Master Chief’s energy sword? Would you use the Gears of War Lancer as a letter opener? How cool would it be to have the Master Sword from The Legend of Zelda? The possibilities are awesome!

If you could have one videogame weapon in the world, what would it be and why? Leave your answer in the comments section (please!).

Author: RPadTV


  • Thundercracker

    That mini nuke gun from Fallout 3. I forget what it's called. I bet a certain Pittsburgh native can refresh my memory though.

    • lceman

      Fat boy… and I'm from Miami, not Pittsburgh, ya yinzer.


      (*edit: "Fat Man" … sorry, the gun looks younger than it really is.)

    • N8R

      The Fatman was the code name for the bomb we dropped on Hiroshima. The The name of the weapon in Fallout 3 (and New Vegas) is a homage to that.

  • lceman

    Wow. So many to choose from. I can't decide if I'd want something like Bayonetta's hair or a dual portal gun. As far as a traditional weapon, I'd probably want Perfect Dark's Laptop gun or Halo's energy sword… because there is never a good can opener around when you need one.


    • N8R

      Portal gun… great choice.

  • The Gunblade from FFVIII. It's not even close.

  • Smartguy

    Frostmourne or Corrupted Ashbringer from WoW.

  • faringan

    Sephiroth's Masamune… Never seen anything cooler XD

  • N8R

    Well, there's the chicken gun from Ratchet & Clank, (like Iceman said) a Portal gun could be extremely handy to have (fire one side in Pittsburgh, the other here), there's the Nikita from MGS, Metal Gear Ray (need I say more), if I had anything from Halo, it would be a cloaking device, and the list goes on.

    So, I'll just make up my own videogame weapon… the cleansing mallet.

  • BigBlak

    The spear that comes out of Scorpion's hand. Just for strait psychological reasons and it's a GD spear on a chain!

  • Lunias

    You sure are finding a lot of excuses to put that picture up, aren't you? Anyways, the Portal gun instantly comes to mind (who wouldn't?), but going back to my early years in gaming and I'd probably say things like "the Pokeball" and "FFT: Advance's Ayvuir Red and Blue" (the hero Gaol's favored blades). If I were thinking of more recent years, Crisis Core's Tonberry would be it.

    But yeah, my favorite weapon of all time would still have to be the lightsaber. Just think about it; you could butter bread AND toast it at the same time! So many practical uses!

    • Pretty sure the lightsaber would cause the butter to evaporate before you could put it on the bread.

      • N8R

        Easy fix… freeze the butter in liquid nitrogen first.

      • Lunias

        Actually, there's a knob on the side that sets the crystal's output, so you can actually "turn down" the lightsaber to a lower setting. While this function isn't shown in the movies, it is shown in books. In fact, the very first book with Obi-Wan Kenobi had him using a "training setting" that didn't burn or melt, but merely stunned.

      • lceman

        You people are such nerds.

        (*puts on Vulcan-themed headphones*)


      • Lunias

        I am most definitely NOT a nerd! If anything, I'm a Smartie!