Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, Lindsay Lohan topless in Cannes, Andy Dick being kicked out of the Dancing With the Stars finale, or the end of Masahiro Tanaka’s glorious winning streak, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.
A few weeks ago, my friend Josh and I were having a conversation about how awesome American sports would be if they copied the relegation system used in Premiere League. For those of you not familiar with relegation, the bottom three teams in Premiere League are demoted to First League. In American sports, this would help the integrity of MLB, NFL, NBA, etc., protecting the leagues against cheapness and incompetence by front office executives.
Speaking of incompetence, the Cleveland Cavaliers recently won the number-one pick for the 2014 NBA draft. For those of you not keeping track of this woeful franchise, the Cleveland Cavaliers have had three number-one picks in the last four years. While the team has shown some signs of improvement in the 2013-2014 season, many agree that it’s underperforming due to a mix of poor draft choices (Anthony Bennett), foolish signings (Andrew Bynum), and poor chemistry (loads of rumors about the backcourt starters hating each other).
The sucktitude of the Cleveland Cavaliers isn’t a recent phenomenon either. Longtime fans of the team had to suffer through the reign of Ted Stepien. Many sports fans view Stepien as the worst owner in the history of American sports. Stepien managed the Cleveland Cavaliers so badly — trading high draft picks for middling players — that the NBA had to institute the “Stepien rule” just to contain him.
With all of that in mind, wouldn’t the Cleveland Cavaliers be a perfect team for relegation? Sure, the team didn’t have the worst record in the league, but it should be punished for historical ineptitude. Sending the Cleveland Cavaliers to the NBA D-League for a year ought to shake up the front office. In baseball, the Houston Astros should be relegated to triple-A for essentially serving up a minor league team for other MLB franchises to pick on. I’m sure that you creative guys and gals can think of several examples of American professional sports teams that should be relegated. Kindly pick a sports team or three that you’d like to see relegated and explain your picks in the comments section.
The Cavs are a great choice. The Knicks would be another one so that Dolan would get his head out if his ass (perhaps Phil Jackson is helping with that right now) after seeing how badly he messes things up. Really I think he is just trying to be like Jerry Jones, whose Dallas Cowboys might be another team needing to be mentioned here in an effort to get Jones to stop being so over involved and wasting so much.
Dan Gilbert is really the worst one around though. He uses Comic Sans, and is so focused on winning he forgot how to put a basketball team together or that when you have high draft picks you are supposed to get someone good. Also I don’t know what was worse, hiring Mike brown a second time or firing him a second time.
Yeah, I lost a ton of respect for Gilbert after writing a scathing memo in comic sans. That was pretty awful. I bet he was a step away from using a frowning emoticon.
I’m surprised he didn’t use a frowny face emoticon so we knew we he was upset. I know I nitpick on typography more than some, but an nba owner has no excuse for being so unprofessional as to use Comic Sans.
Convenience store owners shouldn’t use comic cans.
I have Masahiro Tanaka on my fantasy baseball team. I am currently in second place! He was probably my best pick.
As far as the Cavs go, I say let them stay. The Heat need to play a push-over team every now and then so our bench can get a workout. That Premier League rule seems brutal. I’m sure it’ll really light a fire under management’s ass. I don’t think I’d be ready for such a radical rule change in pro sports just yet.
-M
Relegation in American sports is really just a dream. There’s too much money involved for it to actually happen. It would be nice though. At the very least, it would force owners to hire inventive general managers that can succeed with limited budgets and limit the damage done by owners that spend too much money on bad players because they think they’re fielding a fantasy roster.
The Atlanta Falcons and or the Miami Dolphins. Both of those teams are ran by losers, and the teams themselves annoy me. F’em.