Coffee Talk #62: The Videogame Movie of Your Dreams

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, those amazing Cardinals, Manny Pacquiao vs. Joshua Clottey at Cowboys Stadium, or your favorite CES 2010 gadget, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

Videogame movies…so many of them are embarrassing. Whether you’re talking about Uwe Boll’s numerous offenses, Raul Julia going out with a psycho crusher in Street Fighter, or Dead or Alive sucking despite having some truly beautiful women running around half-naked for 90 minutes, movies based on videogames haven’t been the best.

Some gamers don’t see the point. Games are a form of interactive storytelling, so why do they need a linear and traditional way to tell a story? Doesn’t that take away the uniqueness of the medium? I’m all for videogame movies, just like I support videogame books, comics, lunch boxes, etc. If it helps expand the world of a game I enjoy and expand the business in general, that’s a good thing. Unfortunately, the execution if often…off.

Today I wanted to ask you about the videogame movie that’s playing in your head. What gaming franchise to you want to see on the big screen? Do you have any actors or actresses you want to attach to your dream project? Kindly channel your inner director and tell me all about the videogame movie you want (please)!

Ron Jeremy Says Videogames are Worse Than Porn for Kids

Speaking at “The Great Porn Debate” panel at CES 2010, sponsored by InternetSafety.com, adult actor Ron Jeremy said that videogames are worse for children than porn. The man known as The Hedgehog declared:

We don’t want kids to watch porn. [Studies have] found that violent video games are much bigger a negative influence on kids.

Connoisseurs of adult movies might remember that Jeremy starred in a Super Mario Bros. parody called Super Hornio Brothers. (Would that make this a case of biting the schlong that feeds you?) While it’s annoying that another public figure is denouncing videogames, Jeremy’s comments will be unfairly dismissed simply because of his profession.

Source

Random Stocking Stuffer Suggestion: Chocolate (DVD/Blu-ray)

If you’re still doing some holiday shopping for the wonderful people in your life, here’s a random suggestion: Chocolate. This Thai action movie has a cute premise and some of the best fighting sequences I’ve seen in years. It’s directed by Ong Bak’s Prachya Pinkaew and stars newcomer Yanin “Jeeja” Vismistananda. The young lady pulls of some truly awesome stunts and her fight scenes are phenomenal. Plus, the outtakes show you the relatively dangerous conditions action movies from third-world countries are made in — it’s kinda nuts.

The fight scenes pay tribute to telegenic martial arts greats like Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan. If you want to give the gift of action or the gift of an autistic girl on a quest for revenge…ah forget the jokes — Chocolate is just awesome! Hit the break for another fight scene. I’d love to hear what you think of these clips.

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Get Your Avatar Books, Action Figures, and T-Shirts!

James Cameron’s Avatar is going to conquer the universe this week. While I’m still not sold on the movie, there’s no denying that this thing is going to be huge. You’re all aware of the movie and the videogames by Ubi Soft, but here are some other Avatar products you might not be aware of.

Avatar…the Books!

If you want to prep for the movie then you ought to consider curling up with Avatar: An Activist Survival Guide and The Art of Avatar: James Cameron’s Epic Adventure. The former offers more information on the unique world of Pandora. The latter features all sorts of images from the flick. Again, Cameron totally lost me during his three-hour soliloquy at E3 2009, but the visuals in this movie are amazing, so I’m actually kind of interested in the art book.

Avatar book

Avatar…the Action Figures!

Any sci-fi movie worth a damn has action figures, but Avatar takes it a step further by implementing some interesting web-cam connectivity. Here’s the official word and a photo:

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Teaser Trailer

Yeah, I’m a Harry Potter nerd. I loved the books and some of the movies. Plus, Emma Watson has blossomed into a ridiculous hottie very beautiful woman. With all of that in mind, I was super psyched to see this teaser for The Deathly Hallows.

Check it out and let me know what you think (please)!

This Week’s Videogame Releases

Avatar movie

There’s not a whole lot coming out this week. The two notable releases are Avatar and MX vs ATV Reflex for multiple platforms. Since it’s a dead week for videogames, let’s talk about the Avatar movie. Are any of you excited for this? I’m so not. I don’t see what all the fuss is about (and I think the blue people look stupid). If I’m missing something, someone kindly explain it to me.

Raymond’s Random Rants

– I watched my Star Trek Blu-ray last night. It’s such a great movie. Unfortunately, I missed it when it was still showing in theaters and only saw it in September on my way to Tokyo. I guess it doesn’t matter though, since I enjoyed the characterization and dialogue more than the special effects. It’s definitely one of my favorite movies of 2009, but I have to wonder how it plays to younger people that haven’t seen the old shows and movies.

Dolph Ziggler

– It’s such an interesting time in the WWE right now. Established headliners like Shawn Michaels, The Undertaker, and Triple H only have a few years left. This leaves the younger main-event players like Edge and Randy Orton waiting for some new dance partners. The WWE has been pushing The Miz, John Morrison, Dolph Ziggler, and Kofi Kingston successfully. Seamus and Drew McIntyre have been getting decent pushes as well. I’m especially high on Ziggler and Morrison. Do any of these guys stand out to you? Do you see any of them headlining WrestleMania in 2015?

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