Listen to Steve Jobs Rock Apple’s Q4 Earnings Call

Normally, I wouldn’t advise you to listen to an earnings call, but Apple CEO Steve Jobs made a rare appearance during Apple’s Q4 2010 results announcement. His presence made the call exponentially more entertaining. He blasted Android, blasted RIM and its BlackBerry platform, blasted seven-inch tablets, talked about sanding your fingers, and was his usually charming self. Click here to give it a listen (Jobs jumps in around the 15-minute mark). Here are some quotes from his Royal Worshipfulness Grandmaster High Steve.

On the “open” Google Android vs. the “closed” Apple iOS:

Google wants to characterize Android as open, and iOS and the iPhone as closed. We think this is disingenuous. Unlike Windows, which has the same interface on every machine, Android is very fragmented. Compare this with iPhone, where every interface is the same. You know, even if Google were right, and the real issue is closed versus open, it’s worth noting that closed systems don’t always win — look at Microsoft’s Plays For Sure model. Even Microsoft abandoned this strategy in favor of Apple’s integrated approach. We believed integrated will trump fragmented every time.

On seven-inch tablets vs. the Apple iPad:

Let’s talk about the avalanche of tablets. First, there are only a few credible competitors. And they all have seven-inch screen. This size isn’t sufficient to create great tablet apps. And this size is useless unless you include sandpaper so users can sand their fingers down to a quarter of their size. We’ve done extensive testing and 10 inches is the minimum tablet size. Given that tablet users will have a smartphone in their pocket, there’s no point in giving up screen size. Seven inch tablets are tweeners — too big to be a phone, and too small to compete with the iPad.

On Apple’s goals with the iPhone:

Our goal is to make the best devices in the world, not to be the biggest — as you know Nokia is the biggest, and we admire them for shipping as many devices as they do. But we don’t want to be like them — we want to be like us, and make the best devices. Nokia makes $50 handsets, and we’re not smart enough to figure that out yet — I’ll let you know when we do. Our goal is to make the best products in every industry we compete in while driving costs down. That’s what we did with iPod — it was relentless improvement and lower prices that was able to beat our competition. As you know we have a very low share in the phone market — single digits if you count all the handsets, and a high share in tablets because we were the first movers. But that’s not how we think about it. The reason we don’t make a seven-inch tablet isn’t cost, but because seven inches isn’t big enough for the software people want to put on them.

Steve is awesome.

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THQ Opens Montreal Studio, Signs Assassin’s Creed Director

THQ has announced the opening of its Montreal Studio and the signing of Patrice Désilets, former Ubisoft director that was responsible for the Assassin’s Creed franchise and Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. Here’s a clip from the official press release:

Désilets previously served as creative director on the Assassin’s Creed franchise, as well as Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. THQ has the exclusive option to have Désilets work from THQ’s new Montreal studio beginning summer 2011. When he joins the studio, Désilets will be charged with the hiring of a new team that will develop new intellectual properties for THQ.

This is a tremendous move by THQ. The company has been working hard to become more than just the publisher of WWE SmackDown vs. Raw and various Nickelodeon games. The company recently started the THQ Partners program and is publishing Double Fine’s Costume Quest, giving it some street cred as a “creative” publisher. Signing a highly-respected talent like Patrice Désilets increases that rep.

What do you think of THQ signing Désilets? He’s slated to work on a new franchise, but are there any existing THQ properties you think he could revamp?

The Vatican Declares Homer J. Simpson Catholic

In case you’ve been wondering, Homer Simspon is Catholic…at least that’s the story the Vatican’s official newspaper, Osservatore Romano, is spreading.

In case you’ve been wondering, Homer Simspon is Catholic…at least that’s the story the Vatican’s official newspaper, Osservatore Romano, is spreading. Here’s the deal according to Reuters:

The newspaper cited a study by a Jesuit priest of a 2005 episode of the show called “The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star”. That study concludes that “The Simpsons” is “among the few TV programs for kids in which Christian faith, religion and questions about God are recurrent themes.”

Uh…wow. With all the problems in the world, I’m glad that the Roman Catholic Church is spending its time informing its followers of the religions of various animated cartoon characters. Well done.

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Xbox 360 Kinect Launch Titles Announced

Microsoft has announced the launch games for its upcoming Kinect motion controller for Xbox 360. Here’s the list:

Microsoft has announced the launch games for its upcoming Kinect motion controller for Xbox 360. Here’s the list:

Kinect Adventures
Kinectimals
Game Party: In Motion
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1
Your Shape: Fintess Evolved
Dance Central
The Biggest Loser Ultimate Workout
DanceMasters
EA Sports Active 2
Zumba Fitness
Kinect Sports
MotionSports
Deca Sports Freedom
Kinect Joy Ride
Adrenalin Misfits
Fighters Uncaged
Sonic Free Riders

I know that most of you are longing to add four fitness games to your library, but what about the other titles? Do any of these Kinect launch titles interest you?

This Week’s Videogame Releases

Kirby’s Epic Yarn — my favorite game of E3 2010 — is out! What? You need to hear about other games too? Oh fine. There’s actually a bunch of interesting titles coming out this week. Fallout New Vegas will be popular with enthusiast gamers (it’s actually #1 on the Amazon charts as of this writing). Fight fans will want to give EA Sports MMA a look. Want some fun with peripherals? Power Gig: Rise of the SixString features a real guitar as its controller. Time Crisis: Razing Storm gives PlayStation Move owners some visceral shooting fun. DJ Hero 2 is out for gamers that want to spin and fade.

Really though, you should all be buying Kirby’s Epic Yarn…but do let me know what games you’re planning to buy this week.

Man City Coach Discourages Drinking, Encourages Whoring

Roberto Mancini, the coach of my beloved Manchester City has been trying to get his players to say no to excessive drinking and say yes to womanizing. It’s fascinating advice and I can’t believe he went public with these comments. According to ESPN Mancini said:

I don’t understand why a player must drink after a game. Okay, maybe one drink is okay but three, four, five, six — drinking until they are drunk — this is not good. In Italy the players don’t have this culture to drink after the game. It is so different but I understand it is part of the English culture and it is not easy to change.

It is good for their career not to do this. Okay, they are young now but when you are 28 or 29 you pay the price. It is better they go with a woman than a drink. It is better. That is what I did when I was a player.

He certainly has a point on the drinking, but I find it hilarious and a bit shocking that he’s publicly saying that he’s cool with his players being sluts. I’m pretty sure it’s going to backfire. Watch half the team get debilitating STDs. This will end poorly.

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Benchmark Brawl II: HTC Evo 4G vs. T-Mobile G2

Here’s another set of benchmarks to illustrate that the T-Mobile G2’s 800MHz processor is far from underpowered. This time around, I ran benchmarks on my friend’s Evo 4G (thanks Steve!). Last time, I used a Samsung Fascinate running Android 2.1 for comparison. Like I said before, that’s an apples and oranges comparison since the phones run different versions of Android (though that didn’t stop some idiots on Reddit for blasting me and the article — morons). This time, both phones sport Android 2.2 (FroYo).

It’s the same deal as before — I used Greene Computing’s Linpack andAurora Softworks’ Quadrant benchmark tests. Each test was run three times and the scores were averaged. Here are the results.

Linpack

  • Evo 4G: 33.4
  • T-Mobile G2: 33.267

Quadrant

  • Evo 4G: 1,311
  • T-Mobile G2: 1,668

The results are pretty interesting. The Evo 4G uses a 1GHz CPU that’s made with an older process and the older Adreno 200 GPU. Even though the G2 runs at a lower clock speed (800MHz), it’s made with a more efficient process. The real kicker is the G2’s newer Adreno 205 GPU, which offers significantly better performance. That’s a big reason the G2 bested the Evo 4G in Quadrant.

Don’t get me wrong, the Evo 4G is a fantastic phone and I really enjoyed using it. The G2 is also an excellent phone and I’m currently loving it. I just wanted to fight against the stupid people on the Internet that are blasting the G2 for having an 800MHz processor. Clock speed isn’t everything people!

Coffee Talk #230: Airplane Movie Review!

I’m about to hop on a flight back to Los Angeles, but before I do that I wanted to talk with you about two movies I saw on the way here: Cyrus and Grown Ups. I enjoyed both movies in very different ways. Here’s the lowdown (not D.Lo Brown style):

Welcome to Coffee Talk! Let’s start off the day by discussing whatever is on your (nerd chic) mind. Every morning I’ll kick off a discussion and I’m counting on you to participate in it. If you’re not feelin’ my topic, feel free to start a chat with your fellow readers and see where it takes you. Whether you’re talking about videogames, Big Ben’s return, whether or not I should stalk the freshly single Christina Aguilera, or NY pizza totally ruling, Coffee Talk is the place to do it.

I’m about to hop on a flight back to Los Angeles, but before I do that I wanted to talk to you about two movies I saw on the way here: Cyrus and Grown Ups. I enjoyed both movies in very different ways. Here’s the lowdown (not D.Lo Brown style):

Cyrus: I really wanted to see this movie in theaters. I’m a fan of John C. Reilly (best sidekick actor ever!), I was curious about Jonah Hill in a dark role, and Marisa Tomei is hotter now than she was 15 years ago (plus, she’s super talented). The three of them were fantastic, the script was an interesting blend of romance and dark comedy, and some of the conversation scenes were filmed in a really stylish way. Cyrus hits different emotions that rarely come together. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of a movie that’s a romantic comedy, a dark comedy, and a drama at the same time — very cool and very different. It’s surely not a mainstream flick, but I enjoyed it immensely and regret not seeing it in theaters to give it some support.

Grown Ups: This movie, on the other hand, should not be seen in theaters. Having said that, I enjoyed it too and was surprised at the three or four times I laughed out loud. It’s certainly not a good movie, but there’s some funny writing and great delivery. In a way it’s kind of like the original Ocean’s Eleven (the Frank Sinatra one); you know it’s not a good movie, but there’s something entertaining about watching a bunch of good friends working together. Plus, I admire Adam Sandler for serving up strong comedies, dramas, and action movies (okay, two out of three). Plus (again), I have to support Rob Schneider for being part Filipino.

Anyway, those were the movies I caught on Saturday morning. Any of you see anything interesting lately?

WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2011: Road to WrestleMania Screens

THQ sent over a batch of screens from SmackDown vs. Raw 2011’s “Road to WrestleMania” mode. Featured WWE Superstars include John Cena, Randy Orton, The Miz, and Christian. These screens illustrate some of the best writing ever made for a videogame. Check ’em out and let me know what you think (please)!

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